If your baby seems pretty unhappy and resists every effort that you make to cheer him/her up or calm him/her down, it can be hard not to feel rejected as well as frustrated.
Parents sometimes blame themselves, feeling that it is their incompetence as parents that is causing the crying, but this is rarely the case.
If you know that your baby's needs have been met, that there is nothing physically wrong causing your baby to cry, and if you've tried everything you can think of to calm him/her but nothing's worked, it's time to take care of yourself so that you don't become overwhelmed. Here are a few suggestions:

• Take deep breaths.

• Put your baby down somewhere and let her cry for a while out of your hearing.

• If it helps, put on some quiet music and let yourself relax for ten minutes.

• Call a friend or relative and get some support. Give yourself a break and let someone else take over for a while.

• Talk to your health visitor about local support groups or mother-and-baby groups where you can share your feelings and discuss ways of coping with the crying with other new parents.

• Remind yourself that nothing is wrong with your baby and that crying in itself won't hurt her. Sometimes simply accepting that you have a baby who cries a great deal can help, in that you don't wear yourself out looking for reasons for the crying, blaming yourself for it, or offering endless new remedies which don't work.

• Remind yourself that this is a phase and it will pass.

Being the parent of a newborn is hard work. Being the parent of a newborn who cries a great deal is even harder work. Get help and support when you need it, rather than letting things build up. And take comfort from the fact that each day, as your baby grows, she learns new ways of being able to communicate her needs to you. Gradually, as she does so, the crying will stop.
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