I think with 'security' I also meant rights. The security of being the next of kin. The security of knowing that if Mr L were taken seriously ill, I would be allowed to visit him in Intensive Care without fighting to do so. The security of knowing that if one of us died, there would be no question of the other having to leave the home or having someone turning up and claiming their right to its contents. The banks sometimes freeze the account when one of the partners in a joint account dies, but according to my information, the bank would allow monies to be taken out by the other account holder to be used for everyday expenses.

This may all sound a bit morbid, but I've known too many folk who were horrified to realise that they had practically no rights at all when their partner died.

Quite apart from that possible scenario, living away from, and thus 'losing' my own family, it was definitely a plus to be able to join my husband's family by getting married.