I've had some telephone calls from a couple of friends back home... They are, like me, women, 35-40 years old, married, with one or two children.
It seems that the same thing is happening to all of them and to our common friends. That is: by the time the youngest child is 2-3 years old, something happens to the marriage. It's like husband and wife become two strangers. One (more often the wife) or both can't tolerate the other half anymore.
I am wondering, is it a normal "phase" a couple have to go through? Is marriage meant to resist to those crisis? Are we just "spoiled", that when something just isn't perfect we throw it away?
I am confused between different visions of marriage, there are my catholic friends, they would tolerate everything and strongly go on with the marriage. Same for older generations which, not necessarily for religious reasons, went on with their marriages even when they were not perfect at all (now they are old and nice to see aging together: I admire those old couples)
And there are more modern and emancipated people who just say bye bye and ask the divorce (and I also admire those people who have faced reality, when it didn't work, and refused a wrong partner and then found a new, more satisfying life...).
I think it's normal to have crisis, and it would be opportune to fight them.
But there's an important step, after you tried: when is the moment to face that a marriage is failed?
Just asking, because when I have to give advices I really don't know what to say anymore: "go on, it's a difficult moment, it will pass. Marriage is this, after all". Or: "leave your husband, you deserve more"?
I usually say the first. But I'm not so sure anymore.