Hm, can one be stressed about not having the only emergency contact on call since he has to leave the country, and still be a mom, loving person, who does enjoy the time spent with kids but worries what if...?

Why do we need to hint at the OP's suspected incompetence? Panic if I remember well, is a normal human reaction, does not mean one is a loser. Next time somebody asks for dishwashing tablets let's call them useless, incompetent and dumb housekeepers.

It's getting tiring to read all the "when I was at home with kids, I was a superhero" or the jealous " I wish I was in your shoes" unhelpful coments. We don't know the OP's situ nor the reasons why things are the way they are, she definitely didn't ask us to evaluate her parenting skills, either. Let's not read too much into it.

Muf, I hope all is fine and you are just coasting though! Let us know..