You do it the same way as when there is a partner, except you make all the decisions.
Re: strict. There is no "delicate balance", you do what you can, what you can live with. You should be able to explain to
yourself clearly why you set restrictions and then be able to to the child if ever asked.
Re: Boarding School. Mine is in a tough private school and comes home every night- thus receiving both "discipline" and "love" as you put it.
Silly Story: *Once when angry, I threatened to send Mlle L-P to boarding school... "what's that?". After I explained, "it sounds great! When I can start?". Yeah, my long-saved-for-that-special-you-are-driving-me-insane-moment ultimate threat did not have the effect that I had so wished. She kicked my butt on that one