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| Thanks for all the inputs 
@j.l-p, @ladylou, I totally agree with you, that being single parent ( esp for woman) at least she has the right to make her own decisions and no need to cook and clean for the guy. A kind of good trade off?  But how can a single parent to show both disipline and love at same time? When i was kid, usually mum was "nice" and dad was the "strict" one, there were certain balances in the role play... ( well, in fact, mine own mum was never nice.. but never mind  )
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I believe this is something that also a double parents household deals with.
with my husban we are both caring and both discipline, we do not each have a role, it just depends who is caring for our daughter and what is happening.
i.e. if she is messing at the table she will get told of by both of us
So I think you need to balance that always and make your child understand that of course you love them no matter what but sometimes you simply do not like what they are doing.
Easier said than done though but that is for another topic
Ciao
K