Women over 40 - Page 4

User · #61 30.03.2013, 13:06

	Quote:	Richdog
	While those are nice sentiments, realistically the issue for any 40+ year old woman who is single is primarily physical. Women don't age as gracefully as well as men and struggle to find a partner the older they get, even if the mind is as young and fresh as it was in their 20's.

Some do, some don't. It mainly is a mental thing though. If you stay young mentally I think you tend to look after yourself physically as well. There are a lot of physically attractive "older women" out there.

Richdog · #62 30.03.2013, 13:38

	Quote:	User
	Some do, some don't. It mainly is a mental thing though. If you stay young mentally I think you tend to look after yourself physically as well. There are a lot of physically attractive "older women" out there.

Of course it is mental, and purely psychological. But it essentially comes down to the natural order of things... men instinctively find younger women more attractive than older women (it's encoded into us for childbearing reasons), and men instead often get more attractive with age to younger women (up to a certain point of course). It's always been like that, it's just human nature.

Of course there are exceptions to this (there are exceptions to everything, so no need to give me examples), and of course there are some very attractive older women out there, but objectively speaking that's how it is.

mishimishi · #63 30.03.2013, 13:49

this is just not true.

people are attracted to each other for a variety of reasons, including cultural ones. so, this idea that it is natural for men to seek out younger females is not necessarily true. it depends on a variety of factors.

Richdog · #64 30.03.2013, 14:01

	Quote:	mishimishi
	this is just not true. people are attracted to each other for a variety of reasons, including cultural ones. so, this idea that it is natural for men to seek out younger females is not necessarily true. it depends on a variety of factors.

Of course it's true, it's evolutionary. Here's a good article I found that explains it better than i can http://glassvisage.hubpages.com/hub/...sychologically

	Quote:
	From an evolutionary perspective, men can best serve the needs of humankind by, well, reproducing as much as possible. Thus, men naturally are attracted to women with "high reproductive value"; they like ladies who can have lots of babies. What outward signs do women give off of this quality? Age is a big factor. Of course, older women can't have children to the extent younger women can. The younger a woman looks, the more capable she appears of producing offspring. This said, men prefer younger women to older women. Even teenage boys desire older women for this reason; extremely young girls seem less capable of reproduction. Worldwide men prefer younger women; in studies of 37 different cultures males have shown they prefer women lesser in age (0.38 years in Finland to 6.45 in Nigeria).

Sure, as a woman I'm sure it's not a pleasant thing to accept, but it's true (and I thought common knowledge).

Sky · #65 30.03.2013, 14:10

RD, you're discussing the power of attraction and the vulnerability certain women feel when they are older and don't feel they attract.
But there is also the issue.
As long a person "wants" or "needs" to exist in the eyes of the other, the attention is centered on themselves and stems from both competition and insecurity. They desire something from the other person to have an image of themselves.

But if they're just happy and confident to be as they are without trying to seem or attract or compete, and naturally focus on the other then they're more willing to discover what the other may have to say. No longer needing approval and recognition does come with aging gracefully. But when you do reach that point, that's when life becomes truly interesting and you feel free.

mishimishi · #66 30.03.2013, 14:20

People don't just choose a mate on the basis of evolutionary reasons. They may, but then there are other reasons to choose a mate.

Look around and you will see that people mate on reasons which throws this idea of most fertile being most desirable on its head.

Sky · #67 30.03.2013, 14:23

	Quote:	moggy
	No idea where you got the women versus men thing for aging. Believe thinking back to when I turned 40 was the man in my life got younger. Many young men still dream of Anne Bancroft in The Graduate.

This is so sweetly true.
Men in their thirties are quite sincere and romantic when they address an older woman they might like.

User · #68 30.03.2013, 14:28

	Quote:	Richdog
	Of course it is mental, and purely psychological. But it essentially comes down to the natural order of things... men instinctively find younger women more attractive than older women

No, I don't. I must be exceptional. Err. An exception. Or something

Phil_MCR · #69 30.03.2013, 14:38

	Quote:	Richdog
	Of course it's true, it's evolutionary. Here's a good article I found that explains it better than i can http://glassvisage.hubpages.com/hub/...sychologically Sure, as a woman I'm sure it's not a pleasant thing to accept, but it's true (and I thought common knowledge).

i liked the video, gets better around the half-way part - esp. the storey at 15m08:

How does this work?

Trillian Astra · #70 30.03.2013, 14:38

I was always wondering what natural instinct it is for men aged 20-25 to take extensive interest in me for example (aged 35)?

Phil_MCR · #71 30.03.2013, 14:43

	Quote:	Trillian Astra
	I was always wondering what natural instinct it is for men aged 20-25 to take extensive interest in me for example (aged 35)?

desperation?

Trillian Astra · #72 30.03.2013, 14:49

thanks! probably.

st2lemans · #73 30.03.2013, 15:37

	Quote:	moggy
	Many young men still dream of Anne Bancroft in The Graduate.

That's because she was only 36 at the time.

Tom

st2lemans · #74 30.03.2013, 15:40

	Quote:	Trillian Astra
	I was always wondering what natural instinct it is for men aged 20-25 to take extensive interest in me for example (aged 35)?

They think you're Anne Bankroft!

Tom

k_and_e · #75 30.03.2013, 15:54

	Quote:	Trillian Astra
	I was always wondering what natural instinct it is for men aged 20-25 to take extensive interest in me for example (aged 35)?

one word: MILF

st2lemans · #76 30.03.2013, 16:03

	Quote:	k_and_e
	one word: MILF

Ummm, that's FOUR words!

Meanwhile, when I was 20 I had the hots for this 37 year old I worked with.

Fast forward 13 years, my father's cousin stops by overnight while on vacation (here in Ticino), with a companion. Guess who?

Tom

Phil_MCR · #77 30.03.2013, 16:16

	Quote:	st2lemans
	Ummm, that's FOUR words! Meanwhile, when I was 20 I had the hots for this 37 year old I worked with. Fast forward 13 years, my father's cousin stops by overnight while on vacation (here in Ticino), with a companion. Guess who? Tom

and are the fires still burning at 50?

st2lemans · #78 30.03.2013, 16:53

	Quote:	Phil_MCR
	and are the fires still burning at 50?

This was 21 years ago!

Tom