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View Poll Results: How long did it take you to make friends here?
Less than a year 54 45.76%
1 - 2 years 19 16.10%
3 - 5 years 10 8.47%
5 - 7 years 0 0%
Over 7 years 4 3.39%
Still haven't made any friends (specify how long you've lived here) 31 26.27%
Voters: 118. You may not vote on this poll

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  #21  
Old 18.10.2014, 18:26
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

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Geneva is another planet. It's tough for non-genevois to make friends with the genevois: very closed social group.
Also the fact it's usually not easy to befriend people when you don't speak the same language.
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  #22  
Old 18.10.2014, 18:30
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

I'm afraid that it would be difficult for me to answer the poll because the option:
"No one likes me doesn't exist"
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  #23  
Old 18.10.2014, 18:46
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

I have lots of foreign friends, and I am Swiss. But yes, I lived abroad a very long time. But I have lots of Swiss friends who have foreign friends from all over- some immigrants here, or from abroad- some have always lived here, and some have travelled and lived abroad too.
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  #24  
Old 18.10.2014, 18:53
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

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I have lots of foreign friends, and I am Swiss. But yes, I lived abroad a very long time. But I have lots of Swiss friends who have foreign friends from all over- some immigrants here, or abroad- some have always lived here, and some have travelled and lived abroad too.
I see you are from Neuchatel? Perhaps its easier making friends in the french speaking part compared to the swiss german speaking part?
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  #25  
Old 18.10.2014, 18:56
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Really I am not sure. But it could be a lot easier if you don't live in either Geneva or Zurich, perhaps.
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  #26  
Old 18.10.2014, 19:30
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

My OH is swiss. if he counts as a friend we are getting on great my best friend is also swiss. I have met many expats who have either gone home or headed their separate ways..
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  #27  
Old 18.10.2014, 19:32
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Made my first Swiss friend very quickly. An anglophile. We bonded over marmite.
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  #28  
Old 18.10.2014, 19:41
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

I feel that I am only hindered by my language barrier. The Swiss seem more reserved than English and less likely for random people to chat much with someone standing near them who is alone; and I cannot really initiate as my German is so basic. Once my German is at conversational level, I will be happy to initiate and I am sure my social circle will boom, as I am quite likeable!

I've been here 5 months and making friends is still work in progress; but I don't have any concerns and am confident that a year from now I shall have more of a local social circle
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  #29  
Old 18.10.2014, 19:45
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Marmite bondage - hey, and with a Swiss brilliant.
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  #30  
Old 18.10.2014, 19:48
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

4 month
8 years here
nationality: countless expats of which 50% are fellow german
swiss: 1
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  #31  
Old 18.10.2014, 20:26
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

been here more than 3 years, and , yes it depends on what you consider "friends", people to talk to in school, in the tram, in the street ? many. Friends to go out for a coffee? a few, families to invite us to their house?? just a handful, and they are all ex-pats...
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  #32  
Old 18.10.2014, 20:56
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

I'm swiss. I made two very good expat friends, with whom I became very close.

Then they left the country. As most expats end up doing sooner than later. And I lost my friends.

I now avoid getting too close to expats, to protect myself.
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  #33  
Old 18.10.2014, 22:08
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

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I'm swiss. I made two very good expat friends, with whom I became very close.

Then they left the country. As most expats end up doing sooner than later. And I lost my friends.

I now avoid getting too close to expats, to protect myself.
Why did they leave?
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  #34  
Old 18.10.2014, 22:31
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

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I see you are from Neuchatel? Perhaps its easier making friends in the french speaking part compared to the swiss german speaking part?
My wife's family is from Wallis half of them on the French speaking side the other half German speaking. I can only speak for her family but the French speaking ones are more open minded, friendly, warm and caring. The German speaking side are stubborn as hell, close minded, cold and very opinionated. However my wife's best friends (German speaking) are all very open and warm.
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  #35  
Old 18.10.2014, 23:01
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

I thought the question was "how long did it take you to make friends here"? friends are friends, what's nationality got to do with it?
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  #36  
Old 18.10.2014, 23:17
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

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Why did they leave?

Hubbies got better paid contracts elsewhere in the world...
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  #37  
Old 18.10.2014, 23:22
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Hopefully you can still remain friends- and go and visit them one day.

California Dreamer- Valais has always been very hard on outsiders, even Swiss from other Cantons. But Ober Wallis- well.... just another impenetrable world... and language!!!
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  #38  
Old 18.10.2014, 23:23
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

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Hubbies got better paid contracts elsewhere in the world...
Forget expats - stick to immigrants.

We're not likely to get offered anything better anywhere else...
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  #39  
Old 19.10.2014, 01:18
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Ok, I am not sure if I can call it a genuine friendship but here are some facts about my surroundings in Switzerland:

I have workmates to go for occasional drink and work related gossiping.
I have soulmate - my wife (she will follow me countries so it's immigration related affection).
I have clubmates to play my favourite sport with.
I have neighbours to exchange occasional bla bla bla.
I have expats to talk openly about my life and talk shit - these will fall much closer than the others into category of friends.
I have me and myself - true friend in me (a friend in need is a friend indeed)

That would make me a snob. In reality, whoever wants to be friend, no matter what language, hail from and interests, there is no prejudice.
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  #40  
Old 19.10.2014, 09:16
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Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

When I first moved here many years ago, I thought I had made a couple "Swiss friends" fairly quickly. In hindsight, they were both America-philes who loved everything about America.. or at least their illusion of it created by vacations and movies. They befriended me because I was their token American friend. Then they got the chance to move to America. They left without so much as a phone call or goodbye. I never heard from them again. Seems in their minds they could not rectify why an American would ever want to leave "paradise" and move to Switzerland.

Fast forward many, many years. Now we have a couple "real" Swiss friends, but the cement is that our son is friends with their son, and our daughter is friends with their daughter (both schoolmates from kindergarten through primary school). That is, in essence, the bond that holds it together.

In my experience, a friendship with Swiss requires much more than a few mutual interests. Much, much more.

Friendship with ex-pats is much easier, akin to befriending other people stranded on the same island.... out of necessity.
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