Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Living in Switzerland > Complaints corner
View Poll Results: How long did it take you to make friends here?
Less than a year 54 45.76%
1 - 2 years 19 16.10%
3 - 5 years 10 8.47%
5 - 7 years 0 0%
Over 7 years 4 3.39%
Still haven't made any friends (specify how long you've lived here) 31 26.27%
Voters: 118. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 18.10.2014, 12:20
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: CH
Posts: 73
Groaned at 54 Times in 21 Posts
Thanked 92 Times in 45 Posts
Switzerlanded is considered a nuisanceSwitzerlanded is considered a nuisanceSwitzerlanded is considered a nuisance
How long did it take you to make friends here?

A common complaint among expats in Switzerland is that it is difficult to make friends with the Swiss. Many say it can take several years.

I am wondering how long it took most people to make friends with the Swiss?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 18.10.2014, 12:23
MrVertigo's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: CH
Posts: 3,067
Groaned at 77 Times in 65 Posts
Thanked 5,286 Times in 2,059 Posts
MrVertigo has a reputation beyond reputeMrVertigo has a reputation beyond reputeMrVertigo has a reputation beyond reputeMrVertigo has a reputation beyond reputeMrVertigo has a reputation beyond reputeMrVertigo has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Quote:
View Post
A common complaint among expats in Switzerland is that it is difficult to make friends here. Many say it can take several years.

I am wondering how long it took most people to make friends with the Swiss?
How long did it take you to make friends with foreigners in your home country?
I don't think it will be any different here.
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank MrVertigo for this useful post:
  #3  
Old 18.10.2014, 12:28
FMX's Avatar
FMX FMX is offline
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: BE
Posts: 668
Groaned at 1 Time in 1 Post
Thanked 426 Times in 241 Posts
FMX is considered knowledgeableFMX is considered knowledgeableFMX is considered knowledgeable
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

To make friends in Switzerland can't compare with "to make friends" in the US, Japan, Italy or Russia.
Friendship has a different interpretation here.
This aspect is worth considering.

Just my 2 cents
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank FMX for this useful post:
  #4  
Old 18.10.2014, 12:45
Dougal's Breakfast's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: GL
Posts: 15,387
Groaned at 969 Times in 737 Posts
Thanked 38,665 Times in 12,102 Posts
Dougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

About a week.

Making friends is easy for anyone who isn't a sociopath.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Dougal's Breakfast for this useful post:
  #5  
Old 18.10.2014, 12:50
TiMow's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Fribourg
Posts: 9,310
Groaned at 292 Times in 196 Posts
Thanked 12,189 Times in 5,300 Posts
TiMow has a reputation beyond reputeTiMow has a reputation beyond reputeTiMow has a reputation beyond reputeTiMow has a reputation beyond reputeTiMow has a reputation beyond reputeTiMow has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Don't_like_people.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 18.10.2014, 13:00
gata's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Geneva
Posts: 3,510
Groaned at 72 Times in 52 Posts
Thanked 3,129 Times in 1,484 Posts
gata has a reputation beyond reputegata has a reputation beyond reputegata has a reputation beyond reputegata has a reputation beyond reputegata has a reputation beyond reputegata has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Still havent made any Swiss friends. Foreigners though...
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 18.10.2014, 13:12
Fridge's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Zürich
Posts: 687
Groaned at 24 Times in 20 Posts
Thanked 756 Times in 330 Posts
Fridge has a reputation beyond reputeFridge has a reputation beyond reputeFridge has a reputation beyond reputeFridge has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

First native that's still a friend was met after about 3 weeks from landing.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 18.10.2014, 13:21
User's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: ZH
Posts: 988
Groaned at 9 Times in 8 Posts
Thanked 866 Times in 427 Posts
User has a reputation beyond reputeUser has a reputation beyond reputeUser has a reputation beyond reputeUser has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Quote:
View Post
How long did it take you to make friends with foreigners in your home country?
I don't think it will be any different here.
You would be better off asking "How long it takes a foreigner living in your own country to make friends?" Generally speaking, the local population have already made their friends by the time they are adults, so they (the "you" in your question) would not make making friends an objective. The problem also exists when moving to a new area of your own country, although the barriers are somewhat less in such cases because of shared language (normally!), culture, and experiences (very few people outside the UK and outside a certain age group, for example, would think of a hippy rabbit when they hear the name "Dylan"). This is one reason ex-pats or other foreigners here are more likely to make friends with other foreigners/ex-pats, IMO - we're in the same boat, having shared similar experiences and difficulties dealing with moving to a new country etc., which, even though we are all living in Switzerland, the Swiss do not, any more than we foreigners know what TV programmes and the like that the locals grew up with as kids.



Quote:
View Post
Making friends is easy for anyone who isn't a sociopath.
Please send me the pattern and I'll get my girlfriend to knit me a few.
__________________
Trying hard.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank User for this useful post:
  #9  
Old 18.10.2014, 13:26
Dougal's Breakfast's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: GL
Posts: 15,387
Groaned at 969 Times in 737 Posts
Thanked 38,665 Times in 12,102 Posts
Dougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Quote:
View Post
The problem also exists when moving to a new area of your own country, although the barriers are somewhat less in such cases
I found it easier to make new friends in Switzerland than I did in England.

I suspect that the exclusion of social class as a criterion for "is this person worth getting to know?" may have been a factor. To a Swiss person I just sound and look British. Back home everything I wore, ate and said was loaded with connotations and was an invitation to prejudice.

Switzerland is great for Yam Yams!
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank Dougal's Breakfast for this useful post:
  #10  
Old 18.10.2014, 13:33
Banned
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Zurich
Posts: 1,185
Groaned at 328 Times in 175 Posts
Thanked 2,127 Times in 928 Posts
treesarehalal is considered unworthytreesarehalal is considered unworthytreesarehalal is considered unworthytreesarehalal is considered unworthytreesarehalal is considered unworthy
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Sociopath.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank treesarehalal for this useful post:
  #11  
Old 18.10.2014, 13:35
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: At home
Posts: 4,167
Groaned at 210 Times in 135 Posts
Thanked 6,404 Times in 2,719 Posts
Faltrad has a reputation beyond reputeFaltrad has a reputation beyond reputeFaltrad has a reputation beyond reputeFaltrad has a reputation beyond reputeFaltrad has a reputation beyond reputeFaltrad has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

It took me five minutes in a Swinger's club. Does that count?
Reply With Quote
The following 5 users would like to thank Faltrad for this useful post:
  #12  
Old 18.10.2014, 13:35
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: basel
Posts: 40
Groaned at 23 Times in 10 Posts
Thanked 16 Times in 8 Posts
jewelinthecrown is considered unworthyjewelinthecrown is considered unworthyjewelinthecrown is considered unworthyjewelinthecrown is considered unworthy
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Quote:
View Post
To make friends in Switzerland can't compare with "to make friends" in the US, Japan, Italy or Russia.
Friendship has a different interpretation here.
This aspect is worth considering.

Just my 2 cents


I would love to hear more about this statement.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 18.10.2014, 13:41
jesuisuntouriste's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Genève
Posts: 240
Groaned at 7 Times in 6 Posts
Thanked 207 Times in 91 Posts
jesuisuntouriste has earned some respectjesuisuntouriste has earned some respect
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

I live in Geneva and it took me no more than a week to make friends (mostly expats and foreign-descent since it's rare to encounter a pure swiss here).
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 18.10.2014, 13:46
arduino's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Zurich
Posts: 127
Groaned at 7 Times in 4 Posts
Thanked 24 Times in 21 Posts
arduino has annoyed a few people around herearduino has annoyed a few people around herearduino has annoyed a few people around here
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

It's clear that swiss people won't accept this ever, but when so many foreigners say it........ me too.
I think it's related with the size of the country and the extremely spreaded population over the whole place separated by the mountains.

Zürich is the best city to meet people and make friends.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank arduino for this useful post:
  #15  
Old 18.10.2014, 13:51
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Zurich Unterland
Posts: 3,318
Groaned at 145 Times in 99 Posts
Thanked 4,850 Times in 1,930 Posts
smoky has a reputation beyond reputesmoky has a reputation beyond reputesmoky has a reputation beyond reputesmoky has a reputation beyond reputesmoky has a reputation beyond reputesmoky has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

What is a "friend"?
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank smoky for this useful post:
  #16  
Old 18.10.2014, 13:58
arduino's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Zurich
Posts: 127
Groaned at 7 Times in 4 Posts
Thanked 24 Times in 21 Posts
arduino has annoyed a few people around herearduino has annoyed a few people around herearduino has annoyed a few people around here
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Quote:
View Post
What is a "friend"?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship

Quote:
Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people.[1] Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association. Friendship has been studied in academic fields such as sociology, social psychology, anthropology, and philosophy. Various academic theories of friendship have been proposed, including social exchange theory, equity theory, relational dialectics, and attachment styles. A World Happiness Database study found that people with close friendships are happier.[2]
Although there are many forms of friendship, some of which may vary from place to place, certain characteristics are present in many types of friendship. Such characteristics include affection, sympathy, empathy, honesty, altruism, mutual understanding and compassion, enjoyment of each other's company, trust, and the ability to be oneself, express one's feelings, and make mistakes without fear of judgment from the friend.
While there is no practical limit on what types of people can form a friendship, friends tend to share common backgrounds, occupations, or interests, and have similar demographics.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank arduino for this useful post:
  #17  
Old 18.10.2014, 14:19
MrVertigo's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: CH
Posts: 3,067
Groaned at 77 Times in 65 Posts
Thanked 5,286 Times in 2,059 Posts
MrVertigo has a reputation beyond reputeMrVertigo has a reputation beyond reputeMrVertigo has a reputation beyond reputeMrVertigo has a reputation beyond reputeMrVertigo has a reputation beyond reputeMrVertigo has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Quote:
View Post
Still havent made any Swiss friends. Foreigners though...
Quote:
View Post
I live in Geneva and it took me no more than a week to make friends (mostly expats and foreign-descent since it's rare to encounter a pure swiss here).
Geneva is another planet. It's tough for non-genevois to make friends with the genevois: very closed social group.
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank MrVertigo for this useful post:
  #18  
Old 18.10.2014, 14:46
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Zurich Unterland
Posts: 3,318
Groaned at 145 Times in 99 Posts
Thanked 4,850 Times in 1,930 Posts
smoky has a reputation beyond reputesmoky has a reputation beyond reputesmoky has a reputation beyond reputesmoky has a reputation beyond reputesmoky has a reputation beyond reputesmoky has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Ah well, that means I have not yet made any friends, amongst the people I`m friendly with.

There are many different types of "friends" - imo.

There are the partying/drinking friends.
The plant swopping/gardening freak friends.
The "come and give me a hand" friends.
The "I need something" friends.
The friendly greeting/how-are-you friends.
The ones who need a shoulder to cry on friends.
The friends who fade away over distance.

What there is not is the "best friend" sort, they are the scariest.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank smoky for this useful post:
  #19  
Old 18.10.2014, 16:58
California Dreamer's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Zurich
Posts: 929
Groaned at 56 Times in 30 Posts
Thanked 878 Times in 433 Posts
California Dreamer has an excellent reputationCalifornia Dreamer has an excellent reputationCalifornia Dreamer has an excellent reputationCalifornia Dreamer has an excellent reputation
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

You can't make friends with the Swiss unless you grew up with them since kindergarten. You are simply a colleague or an acquaintance at best. You may consider them your friend but the feeling is not mutual. I found this out the hard way which hurt my feelings at the time but I'm over it, and over them. Now I only hang out with expats. Another reason (for preferring expats, foreigners and secondos) is I'm sick and tired of the "oh but we mean the "other" kind of foreigners".
I still have a few Swiss acquaintances, but they are not friends.

Last edited by California Dreamer; 18.10.2014 at 17:18.
Reply With Quote
The following 5 users would like to thank California Dreamer for this useful post:
  #20  
Old 18.10.2014, 17:40
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: CH
Posts: 73
Groaned at 54 Times in 21 Posts
Thanked 92 Times in 45 Posts
Switzerlanded is considered a nuisanceSwitzerlanded is considered a nuisanceSwitzerlanded is considered a nuisance
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Interesting that there is an almost equal split from opposite ends of the poll. Seems that either people are successful in making friends here quickly (within first year) or not at all.
Reply With Quote
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How long did it take you to learn German? Pixie B Language corner 134 25.06.2015 17:40
How long did it take you to adapt from High German to Swiss German? Rach_UK Language corner 74 15.05.2014 22:12
How long did it take to rent a place? Roam Housing in general 26 07.01.2012 10:18
How long did it take to get a permit telandy Permits/visas/government 19 16.02.2011 15:47
How long did it take you to get used to swiss lifestyle? mazule Daily life 35 19.06.2010 15:46


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 20:16.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0