I asked my son today how many times he has forgotten to put his name on his work, and if he’d had things ripped up before that I didn’t know about. He said it was the first time he had not written it on and that’s why he was upset.. Now I know he doesn’t remember to do everything he’s told to do by the teacher……he’s forgotten to take a certain book in before, forgotten to get things signed by me, and has forgotten to do certain pieces of homework etc. For these “offences” he has to write a note about what he has forgotten to do in his Kontaktheft, he brings it home for me to read, sign and he shows it next morning to the teacher. He usually gets a piece of extra homework to do as punishment also. All that is fine by me…...the punishment fits the crime, he needs to get on with it. I don’t understand why the teacher considers forgetting to write their name on the sheet such a heinous crime !!! My son says it doesn’t happen all that often, so it’s not as if the teacher is at the end of his tether with them all forgetting to put their names on sheets !!

And just for the record don’t be under any illusion that I mollycoddle my kids…….I really don’t. Mummy’s boys they ain’t !!! And there are far more alternative adjectives I would use to describe them than snowflakes ! I’m all for them learning to stand up for themselves against others, & I don’t intervene at the drop of a hat……but we’re talking different ball game here when it’s their teacher they’re up against. This situation he couldn’t handle by himself, & he wanted me to act for him……I’m his mum and so I did. End of. It’s just a bugger that this all could have been resolved so easily….parent privately expresses concern to teacher, teacher listens & takes onboard comments, teacher has a quiet word with child, and hey presto all sorted. I wish.

Please don't assume that we are now talking about your son (eg snowflake comment) , these threads diversity into hypothetical scenarios to explore the topic and how people would behave.

No one knows anything about the real scenario other than what has been described here; but it doesn't stop some healthy speculation to keep things moving along a little...it's one of the dangers of exposing personal circumstance for scrutiny on a public forum. Read some of the "I want a divorce" threads for a flavour of this...

dave

I imagine if the torn homework incident occurred in the OP's native country she would have had the confidence with language (and knowing the system) to be able to deal with the issue entirely by herself.

However the incident has taken place in a foreign country and I can appreciate that the moral and practical support available via the EF helps in being able to manage the situation.

Cheers,
Nick

I agree entirely, and my point was that if you open personal issues or problems to scrutiny in public, you have to be prepared to deal with advice either completely erroneous or tactless alongside useful responses.

On the other hand there are many posts seeking endorsement for some less than reasonable behaviour in my opinion...and they often get it from the more touchy-feely or liberal posters.

dave

all said! he/she had chosen his job to be a TEACHER and has to deal with it. to make the kid learn his lesson, ok, overreacting like the teacher did at no point possible. swisscath, you did all right and from your statements in here i can see that your son is not "Mommy's boy". otherwise you would not have asked us what to do but just snapped and let the teacher know whats up regardless speaking any german. thats my impression.

the million dollar question ..

did the teacher got suspended?

I have had two kids with the same teacher in the junior school.
Both of them had a few ripped up home work for small things , not the quality of the work but things forgotten.My daughter had no problem with this but it used to crack my son up.
I found that really this happened most in the last year of junior school,the teacher was also an old hand at teaching.
It never really happened much to the less intelligent pupils , as my son would always complain soandso gets away with it.
Now that its over I can see what the teacher was trying to do , you see the standard of the secondary school are quite high and they are not interested in things forgotten , like names , not titled , wrong colours used etc. Our teacher was trying to show them and get it into them that the small things matter , it ruins a work that is brilliant if its untidy , on the wrong paper ,without name or title.
The teacher my just be mean but he also may be trying to get a little more out of your son if he is sure he has more potential.

I want you to know that I agree with your feelings. What she did wasn't right. If she has a problem with your child, than she should hold a meeting with the two of you to discuss how things can improve. There has to be a clear outline to follow for it to be logical and reasonable. Getting so visibly upset over a missing name isn't rational. I read that someone else wrote that you shouldn't teach your son to undermine the authority, however, I believe that you should also teach your son that just because someone is in a role of authority doesn't make them right. (let's just look at George Bush for an example). It's healthy to question where things come from, otherwise you'll just get dooped! Teachers are people too and can make mistakes.

I have worked with teachers (Primary) from 'the old school' who believed it was not only O.K. but effective to call a child naughty and stupid, to humiliate them in front of the class etc. in order to instill discipline & respect.
Whilst these teachers may have had a quiet classroom they also had children who had extremely low self esteem and who failed to reach their potential. I saw many a child wilt in assembly in front of their peers. But I remember seeing the same teachers being hugged at playtimes and being spoken of fondly by children & parents on leaving day. Often, well aware of the methods used, parents seemed to appreciate that in this day & age it was refreshing that the child was not allowed to answer back, threaten a lawsuit or use physical abuse.
To label a child can cause such damage and feel that when a child is made to feel confident and learning is made exciting then their school experience should be positive.
However, I also have many friends (excellent, inspirational teachers) who have left their profession because of stress not only from additional, unnecessary paperwork but from the lack of respect by parents.
I believe what this teacher did was inappropriate behaviour for today but some of the responses as how to deal with it have saddened me. The first response should be to question the child fully. Yes, listen to your child but be realistic and have an open mind. Then make an appointment with the class teacher to express dissatisfaction. If not happy, then take matters further to the Headteacher.
I was once verbally attacked by a parent because her child had not been given clear enough instructions for her homework. The said homework was simply a suggestion I had made to the child's friend at playtime that perhaps if they had time they could draw me a picture of the school pond as she loved watching the fish!
It becomes a struggle to remain motivated when you do something which you believe to be in the child's interests and yet there is no respect or faith from the parents.
As has been said often, we do not know the motives behind the teachers actions. But when parents show teachers a lack of respect, then the children will also. Follow the correct procedure, do not lower yourself by being abusive. Only the children will suffer as more good teachers will leave and the classroom will become a place of tit for tat and not of learning & exploring.
Sorry to drag but the children are asleep & I have far too much time on my hands