Is anyone else in a "mixed" relationship? Last night I was at a shopping centre with my Swiss partner and was given dirty looks by (actually they looked Yugoslavian?) two women for no apparent reason. Then there are stares, peoples' eyes literally popping out as you enter a restaurant and the people who stop talking as soon as you walk into a shop etc. Does this happen to anyone else? For the first few weeks I brushed it off and figured it was just my own projections or whatever, but its happened so often that it is becoming *slightly* annoying, which ruins the experience of my boyfriend and I going out etc.

I know that mixed couples are not so common around Luzern, and people are bound to stare etc. Coming from multi-cultural Australia though, makes it SO weird for me to experience this. Anyone own a t-shirt printing business? Perhaps I could get a I AM NOT A MAIL-ORDER BRIDE top in German.

Thanks people for letting me rant.

People tend to stare a lot in CH. Not saying that you aren't right in your suspicions, you probably are. Just to say that all people here that are slightly out of the norm gets stared at.

I often find Switzerland a unique mix of small town mentality and cosmopolitianism. Partly, maybe because the small villages are very close geographically to the cosmopolitian centers like Zurich

Using a US analogy, it is as if the people from Wasilla, Alaska lived in the suburbs of Manahattan.

I also grew up in Perth and am Asian-Aussie and have a Swiss-Italian boyfriend, but we are living in Zurich

We haven't received that type of treatment while I have been here, but then again, I probably don't notice it cos Im too busy having a good time with my boy.

Don't worry - they are probably just admiring what a beautiful couple you are. It's better to be unique I think. I like the fact that I am so different looking here in Switzerland.

Don't take it personally. It's been discussed on the forum before and it seems that it's simply a case of the Swiss love to stare. Apparently there are even differing styles of stares, from the out and out, just staring for the fun of it to the crazy old man stares that follow your every move.
It's been suggested that the person being stared at might be the hottest thing the starer has seen in many a long year, and some have told tales of trying to stare down their eyeballer.
It's all anecdotal of course but the crux of the matter is that yes, we all get stared at, regardless of race, creed, clothing or colour. Just don't let it upset you.
PS, Loath as I am to tell you this, the staring dicussion can be found on the "are the swiss racist" thread, which thank lob, has been closed now.

A mixed marriage is indeed unique in Switzerland. It takes a long time for a Swiss to get used to something new. I'm afraid you may have to deal with these kind of looks for some time before the stigma of a mixed marriage settles.

Deep down inside, many Swiss are a bit racist without even realizing it, mainly because they've never had to personally deal with the issue.

By staying strong and making Swiss friends, you'll help pave the way for a more open-minded Switzerland.

Good luck!

Hi. I'm Indian married to a Scandinavian. Most of the people assume that my husbands Swiss and that I've married him for his Swiss passport. I've been asked a couple of times where I was imported from??? I'm sorry to say but the Swiss are really racist in this aspect (you cant blame them really-they're ignorant, zenophobic and not very well educated-so this kind of behaviour is to be expected).

i hope you aren't trying to start a "swiss are racist" thread again (also here)...pls don't

Yes I agree - we are simply just gorgeous and that's why they stare. I know I stare (without realising it) at beautiful people but that's because I'm just in awe.

my apologies wasnt planning on starting a racist thread, just stating facts....

Don't let other's narrow mindedness get you down.

I used to have a Japanese girl friend (I'm of European decent), she's lived in Lausanne some 25 years already and speaks nearly perfect French. The two of us once went into a police station to ask a question. Since my French consists of only a dozen words naturally she did all of the talking. Despite me not uttering a single word both officers (1 male, 1 female) stood there looking directly at me and answering all the questions asked by my girlfriend as if she wasn't even there..! We figured they must have thought that I was the French Swiss man and she was my illiterate Asian friend. After going outside we both had to laugh about it all and how ridiculous they made themselves look.

Once a woman in the breakfast hall of a rural B&B stared at me for so long (after I looked up again, she was still staring) that I finally waved at her with a smile. She then realised what she was doing and continued breakfasting with a half-embarrassed smile.

Forget the "I'm not a mail order bride" mentality. You know who you are, and so does your partner. People look because they find you interesting or different or exotic. For all they know, you are richer and better educated than your poor partner, or the other way around. It doesn't matter. Enjoy being unusual.

this has happened so many times with me in asia and in other places.
as i learnt french in school and now i know semi-decent german , i sometimes snigger when ppl think i don't understand them.
a caucausian friend of mine speaks fluent japanese and he always overhears rude comments about him when he is in japan, little do they know he understands every word!

It's quite simple: Swiss women are afflicted by an allergic reaction to certain precious metals - particularly sensitive is the 3rd finger of each hand - which results in increased frequency and intensity of headaches and a a bio-rythm aligned with the sun.

With this in mind you are perfectly equipped to analyse the emotions on each parties staring face.

I've had that happen to my hubby and me more times than I care to remember. I speak fluent german and his german isnt that great.

That should goes for everyone!
Argus? didn't recognise you there pet!

If i do see a guy in his late 60's holding hands with an asian lady in her 20's the first thing that springs to mind is 'mail order bride'. I am not particually fussed about it either way, as long as they are both happy.

Admittedly i do stare, but it not out of shock or disgust, more more intrigue/comedy value.

If anyone is bored you can check out this site: NSFW

Wow - I could have written exactly the same response! Except my guy is not Swiss-Italian ...

I think it is rather interesting that you assume that these people are staring at you because they think you may be a mail-order bride. What makes you feel that way?

Good point, Icephrys might just be hot....or maybe even they are thinking, why is this woman staring at me?


As already stated, nothing beats giving them a huge grin and waving.

Definitely when there is a noticeable age gap between the Caucasian guy and the Asian woman, I can understand that people may stereotype the woman as a "mail order bride".

But where both parties are relatively close in age, it's more likely to be seen as a modern, mixed relationship.