OK, i am unsure of this being a unique occurence or it happens often, but nevertheless, i am sharing this experience here, hoping to come out of it saner ...

I have been living in a flat-share for more than a year, the main - tenant, a Swiss, has driven me nuts with cleaning plans!!!

It was never this difficult before,.. until lately, there seems to be micro-management of my cleaning so as to spot every single strand of hair lying in every corner of the apt.

I have tried hard but i never seem to make it up to the expectations! I usually want to have my peace of mind living with flat-mates, so i avoid confrontations on trivial matters, but as i see now, my saying "yes" to every new cleaning technique is seriously going over the top!

I am reasonably good , not as great as the "swiss" in their cleaning but i like to live in a neat surrounding. But, having to dry the wash basin every time i use the wash basin Even that i do, but my absent-mindedness sometimes, is treated as punishable!

Btw, my main-tenant just asked me leave the apt, if i failed to agree to the rules laid down for this flat. This is after one year of living well together, travelling together and having been invited to each others family house for holidays! Is such behaviour normal ???????. And just to leave no room for doubt, we had been on a very good note (or i didnt realize something was fishy) until late this week.

So, i decided to clear this matter, giving a benefit of doubt to the culture difference by talking to another Swiss.

I was given some astonishing and strangely true inputs about flat-share in Switzerland. After a long discussion, it seems to be like this , in Switzerland, friendly flat-mates are good, but cleaning is most important. It was not strange for my friend when i expressed my shock , that i would be kicked out after a yr by my main-tenant!

It seems as though in most Swiss houses, they clean on Saturday mornings, so the house is clean on weekends, and i just cannot start my weekend by cleaning!

Also, the trivial things that they dislike, they avoid to say, because they are uncomfortable , but they cant avoid to see and remember them! They brood on each little thing they dislike and finally a big explosion on the poor baffled victim who is thinking, was i really doing all this ?

An interesting fact shared was , that they sometimes try to threaten you e.g. "please leave if so and so " to use it as a way, to get their work done.... although they might not really mean it so... I don't understand this!
But, these inputs are also from someone brought up in the same culture!!!

I am sorry if i offended anyone, although i have been insulted too, it does not serve as an excuse to offend anyone or anything.

I just come from a place, where the people you live with, are given more importance than materials... feelings play a more powerful role than plans ..

thanks for hearing me out... any of u who have had similar experiences plz share them here...

I have loved the past one yr of my life living in Switzerland, and i don't want to leave this country, with an image which might not be entirely true...

Maybe he wants to kick you out to get someone else in?

there's a girl involved here somewhere, i just know it

You are clearly living with loonies.

I know a Swiss family who haven't cleaned their apartment for 20 years. Get out while you still have your sanity...

Just view it as a crash course in "How to live in an apartment in Switzerland". Believe me, it ain't getting any better once you have your own apartment so you may as well toughen up sooner rather than later.

While visiting appartments, I saw many very dirty ones... My ex-owner's house was the biggest mess seen ever.

Don't bother yourself, this is surely a obsessive-compulsive behavior.

You guys are missing the point. Swiss compulsiveness isn't about cleaning, it is about telling other people what they do wrong.

What I know is that Swiss people clean their appartments only once a week ( families with housewives or househusbands or with cleaning services, I don't know.)

This applies to working couples and singles. Cleaning is done on Saturdays as I believe one cannot make noise (such as a hoover) on Sundays.

Freewill, in my point of view, your room mate/main tennant has deeper issues. What you have described is certainly not the norm. Better to move on and be happy rather than deal with the constant criticism. It must be very uncomfortable for you to constantly have to look over your back in your own quarters.

This is not a Swiss Problem, it is a people problem ! Ask anyone from anywhere, these problems are common, people from every corner of the world like to tell others what they are doing wrong ! I have it when I visit my sister, I put the dishes it the wrong place and she suggests, maybe next time I visit home I stay elsewhere ! People are people, it is just the way it is. In your case I have to agree with the others......... your roommate wants you gone and is avoiding telling you.

Thank you Maria_, AbFab , Tilia , Nil, Mr,Myself & I ...

Your posts have helped me get together some facts , thanks once again..

It probably looks like i am required to move out, however, i did direct this question once, "if required i could move out", and the answer was NO. Which obviously came along with the expectation, live as we live when it comes to cleaning, or the answer will be YES soon. And this is exactly what has happened after one year together ...

I second CB1, as i usually also think this way, that it is mostly a personal problem and not something every person in a country follows diligently. Having said that, there are a few things that are followed in a certain way, which a unassuming expat might not be aware of ... and might have form impression about the Swiss, after such bitter experiences...

To be honest i am pleasantly surprised and also reassured as i was thinking, it is really the norm in the country to keep it so spotlessly clean! Thank you.

As for me, it was never this difficult before and i was thinking it could always be sorted out, but lately, i think my main-tenant does have deeper issues (with me or the cleaning or both)..

House hunting is never been easy in Zurich, it gonna be a long hunt and i agree with Tilia, that it is not gonna be any easier, rather toughen up now than later!

The only thing which still bothers me once in a while, is the inflexibility in a person, adamant attitude is definitely a big turn off for me

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You only encountered the tip of the iceberg !
Many people if discussing about holidays and stays in other cities will tell you ".... is very clean" "....is not so clean" "....is not clean at all" ".......is dirty" "....is even dirtier". The cleanliness of cities to them is a or the major criteria !
I personally love cities like Cairo, Alexandria, Tunis, Istanbul and Athens, who would not win prices in these cleanliness championships !

i agree with maria and doofus

I have to put my two cents in here since after a year my roommate kicked me out for not cleaning to her standards (depsite that she actually cleaned less then me.) I even had gone through endlessly asking her every month if we need talk if anything was wrong all with nothing. Until she kicked me out well I was on holidays. I'm not going to say cleaniness is a swiss standard I am Swiss my parents are swiss, and we are not as obessive as I have seen from some people, from many cultures. What I have noticed amongst many Swiss Relatives, is a very passive aggressive way of letting you know you did something they don't like. My roommate for example would wait till I was done cleaning then walk back to where I cleaned and scrutinize it, and then go clean it again. A relative also wanted me to give them more money for something, instead of asking they went on gripping about how poor they are for about an hour. I'm sure its not just a swiss thing but I've noticed it alot among them.

And it sounds like your flatmate has probably been telling you in some passive aggressive way you may not have recgnoized.

It doesn't only extend to the cleaning, although this is one of their major foibles. No, ever had a Swiss next to you in the kitchen? Comments like "just fancy, you don't blanche the onions first"! or "That looks funny, in Switzerland we do it like this". But best of all whilst visiting Australia, two Swiss women watched the camp guide cutting a tomato: one was a Haushaltslehrerin but neither of them could keep their mouths shut and told him he was cutting the tomato completely the wrong way [shock, horror]. How arrogant can you get. Why is their way always correct?

erm, why dont you get yourself a cleaning lady?
start with every 2weeks turnus, if required let her come every week.
fin.

Yup. Problem solved.

When you say you've cleaned something and your flatmate cleans it again, there is the possibility it wasn't cleaned in the first place.

I had this issue with an old flatmate who just didn't get it; glasses, for example, were kinda wiped around the rim, but the remainder of the glass would still be dirty. So I had to rewash every wretched glass / plate / pot before using them. It sounds petty, but ultimately I was doing all the household chores too, when this flatmate's effort extended to 'cleaning' the floor, bathroom, dining table. I used to be amazed an otherwise grown-up person just didn't seem to care. What pssed me off most was after it being explained, it just continued. WTF? Am I Mother?

So being a quiet sort I let it lie for a while, asked again a few weeks later, round and round in circles, like a teddy bear. Then one starts to get somewhat allergic to this carry-on, and the relationship gets strained.

Getting a cleaner is the easiest option here. Good luck.

You're having a taste of married life, seems to me.

I got some funny looks while I was cutting watermelons a couple of times in Vietnam. A particularly outspoken friend went as far as remarking how wrong I was doing it, and repeatedly offered to step in and relieve me of the chore, because I didn't even seem to get the pieces arranged correctly on the plate

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It reminds me of an experience in military service. A colleague had to do the cleaning, and then the "Feldweibel 2" (we had two of them) asked me to re-check. It was a bit strange as the colleague was far more on the "clean side" than me, but I did my very best. I felt a bit disturbed when the Feldweibel told me "you see, you never know with ...., but you of course understand ....". I really did understand him, but found it rather disturbing. --- Yes, it for sure is a Swiss thing ........
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ever had a Swiss next to you in the kitchen? Comments like "just fancy, you don't blanche the onions first"! or "That looks funny, in Switzerland we do it like this". But best of all whilst visiting Australia, two Swiss women watched the camp guide cutting a tomato: one was a Haushaltslehrerin but neither of them could keep their mouths shut and told him he was cutting the tomato completely the wrong way [shock, horror]. How arrogant can you get. Why is their way always correct?
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A) they for sure did not feel to "get arrogant" at all, but simply felt it their duty to say how it correctly has to be
B) how can you dare to doubt that they, particularily a "Haushaltlehrerin", of course a r e correct ? [More]
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