The death thread.

[Uncle Max]

The anticipation of something can often over ride the actual event. Positive outcomes are certainly there to cherish.

[Oldhand]

I forgot to mention the last song that was played as her coffin went behind the curtains..."Always look on the bright side of life"! I tell you "it's as if she was there"!

[Longbyt]

I'm so glad it helped you to go to the funeral. Hard decisions to make sometimes. Thanks for coming back to tell us and I hope it will be comforting to mentally go over the good times you had together the memories of which can never be taken from you.

[Sky]

My dear, may I kindly borrow your thread ?


Somebody asked me what I would like for Christmas, I answered that all I wanted was just a few hours more with him, and if that was too much, I’d willingly offer my hopes for a few moments at his side.

It’s been almost 6 months, it was yesterday, and there’s not a day that goes by where I do not think of him.

I wrote his eulogy with tears and delivered it without, for crying is something you do alone.

I’d like to tell him that he did his best and I always knew it even when I wasn’t doing mine. I’d like to tell him that I could see so far and clear when I was perched on his shoulders. I’d like to debate with him once more, all evening in a heated conversation about democrats and republicans and finally have the right answers when he would challenge me and say: “ok agreed, plausible argument but it is not valid without facts, explain your thought process”. I’d like to tell him his grandson has his passion for stamps and shares the same easy smile. I’d like to tell him that I’m not living out my dreams, but that I promise that his grandson will. I’d like to see his eyes light up and listen once again to how plate tectonics are formed and promise to be patient this time. I’d like to have never had to say good-bye.

I’d like to, but I can’t.

Daddies are precious.

[hannah'sauntie]

Sky, I am so sorry you lost your obviously adored father. I read your post with tears running down my face, not because I have also suffered such a devastating loss, my dad is thankfully still with us and living back in England with my mum, but because I know that one day they both will die and I won't know how I will cope.
My father is almost eighty, my mother a year older, they are the reason I go home as often as I can, though not often enough. It sometimes hits me that there is a possibility that I may only see them only a few more times before I never see them again.
We all think that our loved ones will be around forever, even though we know that is impossible.
I wish you peace Sky and hope you can live your life with happiness and continue to see your father in your son's smile.
I am going to phone my parents tomorrow and tell them that I love them. Thanks Sky. x

[olygirl]

	Quote:	Sky
	I’d like to, but I can’t. Daddies are precious.

Indeed they are.

I sincerely believe that your father feels you more now than ever before. A part of his spirit has found a place within your heart and he's immensely proud of all your love and accomplishments. He knows how you feel, and when you're in a quiet, peaceful moment, I bet you can feel him too. Where there is love separated by death, the love isn't lost but just transcends to another level.

[MacGregor's Daughter]

	Quote:	Sky
	Daddies are precious.

Yes they are and especially now that Christmas is coming on, but also all the other special events like weddings, births, 1st communion - you always think: If only daddy were here to see it, how proud would he be; and in times of need and sorrow you wish he was there to listen and - so very sorry for your loss, the 1st Christmas without him will be hard, and you might never really get over it - I didn't.

*hugs*

[swisspea]

I'm posting onto this thread for my uncle. My mum is one of 12 children. up until a few weeks ago, all 12 were living, as is the mother of the 12, my grandma, who just celebrated her 92nd birthday, is hardly frail, and has 'all her marbles'.

She wisely said that no mother expects to have to bury one of their children, under any circumstances.

My uncle was 52, leaving behind three daughters the youngest in her late teens, the other two in their 20's.

I've been getting facebook, photos and emails with all steps taken 'in memoriam'. We feel very close to what is happening, and yet so far away...

Grief does have a way of swamping over life, and then ebbing and flowing away again...

I also know what it is to hold a stillborn baby, in my hands (not mine, but the baby of my close friend). To admire their perfection and grieve what might have been. To know that his mum only wanted to show him to everyone and say 'he is my baby, he is perfect, please look at him'...

It's a profound loss...

I am sure that I will feel a call to head 'home' to my place of birth, to leave Switzerland and be back in Australia, closer to my extended family, and I borrow the time now to enjoy life and grab it with both hands...but for the first time in three years, I feel homesick, and I think that is because of grief...I hope as the grief flows out, the homesickness also flows away because I kind of liked things the way they were...

[crimson]

let me begin by saying sorry for everyone's losses and hope that you will have the support you need.

i was always scared that i will lose my loved ones and i won't be able to cope. this fear intensified, as i almost lost a very close person a few years ago, under very tragic circumstances. thankfully this person is still with us and i am grateful- but even more scared now.

i grew up in fear that i will lose my father, as he is older than most dads of people my age (and quite older than my mother). i remember thinking when he was 50, that if he lives up to 75 i will be 30 by then so probably old enough to cope. i turned 30 this year and he turned 75 and i cannot even stand the thought of losing him. or my mother. or my sisters. or any of my friends. or, or, or.

being far away makes it so much harder to cope with my fears. every time i go back, i cannot help but thinking that this might be the last time. this sometimes prevent me of really enjoying the time i have with them.

so-even if it is a bit off topic- i would like to ask you, how do you cope when the fear of losing loved ones becomes too big?

[poptart]

	Quote:	Sky
	Daddies are precious.

Yeah, yeah they are. Mine even waited for me to fly home before he died since my sisters and my mother kept his condition from me.... I feel your pain and understand. I spent six months afterwards bottoming out. Daddies are indeed precious. *hugs* and then some.

[wattsli1]

Having lost a close friend this year myself all I can say is - boy it hurts. And it doesn't seem real to me - her facebook account is still there and her name pops up every now and then as if she were still there. Sometimes I catch myself thinking she's going to reply to a post - because, well, she would if she were here. She was just far too young and vibrant a human being to .... well.... to die like that.

But if there's one thing I have learnt from the experience of losing her it is to live in the present. Make each day count. Don't go to bed angry. And be sure to tell the ones you love the things you want them to know. I love you, I'm proud of you, you're amazing - it costs nothing to tell the ones you love.

When you see elderly loved ones - say it - say what you want to say - even if you never said it out loud before because they are of a different generation - just say it.

My parents are thankfully quite young since they were very young parents themselves. But my grandparents are still with us - my grandfather is 92 and my grandmother will be 90 this year. A grand old age. Every time I go home these days I sit with them and listen to them and laugh with them and take in every moment like it's so precious - because there might not be many more. But at least I know that if it's the last time I have told them just how much I really do love them.