Maybe, but maybe some of the others remember situations when they've been helped by a simple 'Can I help you?' or, alternatively, wish they had been.

Stiff upper lip and all that but there is enough on here about the 'cold, unfriendly' Swiss without us adding to their number

A response like that would put me off from asking in the future as well.

Maybe the better question to ask of the person in distress would be "Do you need help?" rather than "What's wrong?"

I would be glad to help someone, but I tend to mind my own business unless the distressed person is actively seeking help rather than just appearing to be upset. Of course, in that case where someone approaches and asks for help, one must then decide if the person is scamming them, but that is a whole other issue.

Now you deserve the groan...

fixed that for you

There's always some example of a person trying to help another, and it backfires. But let's be reasonable here. I think that in most cases, if you offer to help or ask how someone is doing, your 'interference' will be taken kindly. You'll either get the opportunity to help or a "no thanks" and an appreciation all the same.

Seriously, just be yourself. If that's someone who is concerned and wants to check if they can do anything, then do that. There's no guarantee of what will come but when is there ever in life?

I stand corrected.

It's always an attempt until it's successful. I've wasted many a good line on people who just didn't get it.

Absolutely. Keep at it. Never give up because you have been rebuffed. A bit off-topic but at Christmas I had a card from a neighbour who apologised for not having spoken to me for over twenty years! I had always greeted her and she explained why she had always deliberately ignored me and that she now had a guilty conscience about it. Laugh and call it stupid if you like, but it quite made my day to know that we could put it behind us.

and what was the reason?

It's not uncommon for post natal depression to manifest like this, so it's definitely worth just a "Are you ok?".

However, as a father who had (and still has) nightmares about cot death, I would definitely have offered, taking special note to check the baby looked ok at the same time. Mothers can do some scary things if a baby dies in these circumstances. And who can blame them.

They flushed at 10:01pm, Feb 21st 1991.

What you think the child is going to pull out an uzie or something. Attitudes like this is the only thing that shits me about being here. No sense of community. People just looking out for themselves and at the same time displaying a complete disregard for those around them. I hope you find yourself in need of an extended hand some time. Might help you change your tune....

LOL - did you get some neg rep too?

That's just so full of siht.

Asking someone if they are OK is not being nosey.

The OP had a bad experience that put her off, but tbh if you feel you should do something - even if just asking - then go ahead.

The problem is that the world is full of people who just blank it all out. How often have there been threads about not even talking to neighbours? A bit more communication in the world probably wouldn't hurt, and a simple starting point could be asking someone in distress if you can help.

Speaking from experience it may well have been nothing. I remember breaking down in tears in M&S Food because some poor lady asked me how old my newborn was and i was too exhausted to remember.

Don't always assume something dreadful might be wrong, and so for that reason don't be put off just going over and asking if she is alright. Mums with babies are often teary, sometimes just through sheer exhaustion. And knowing that someone cares, if only a stranger, can be strangely comforting.

I think I would have asked if she was ok? Reminds me of a time not long after I moved here and the lady on the till in Co Op shouted at me for not paying until after I had packed my bags! I cried all the way to the car and whilst sobbing and loading the car an old lady approached me, I thought she was going to ask if I was ok but no she asked me if there was a lift/ elevator inside the shopping complex? Well it stopped my tears and made me giggle.

A few weeks ago a clerk at a pretzel stand at the station saw my eyes streaming (they do that when it gets really cold, I have no idea why) and asked me if I was OK. It suddenly occurred to me that this hardly ever happens here, but it was kind of nice.

If this wasn't Switzerland, I'd say form an orderly queue to slap her, Airplane style.

But here it'd just turn into a brawl, and nobody wants that.

Best stick to the local solution and stare at her.

You cried after being shouted at by a shopping checkout assistant? That's...errr...no, never mind.

She might of just been caught by a ticket inspector without a ticket