Recently I have accumulated a number of quite frustrating situations when swiss colleagues turn down firm appointments for the most incredible reasons, among others
- having other invitations,
- having to cut the grass in the garden
- having a meeting with a nanny
- having to test a bicycle

Whereas I would have expected informality from foreigners in CH, my recent experiences show that swissies are/can be much better at turning down agreed appointments. And I am not speaking about dates, but simple appointments...

... I think I am better of with the foreigners around. More serious people...

I'd have a very pertinent response to this..


but I have to wash my hair.

Well at least there are some new ones in there, I've never heard of the last 3 being used up to now... must remember them...

Test a bicyle....... not in a million years would I think of that one

If I were you I'd rather be worried about why all my invitations are being turned down...

Mélusine made me laugh...

I think people are just used to being honest about stuff, maybe, while in other cultures you would hear something more diplomatic.

And I think you meant to say sincere, not serious.


Sometimes people just get busy and in their own world, I wouldn't get my knickers in a twist for that. When you get busy turning people down, you don't notice how others word their excuses..

They have better things to do than to meet you and they say it? How dare they! Just tell them that you don't want to hear the truth and give them three options for an acceptable excuse, e.g.
My mother/sister/husband/child is very sick
My boss wants me to do some overwork
My friends from Fidschi are paying me a visit and will fly back home tomorrow.
Isn't this the way it's done in the rest of the world?

Something that will definitely work here is "i got my laundry day"..

But you know in advance when it is laundry day- so why accept the invitation in the first place!

are these personal or professional invitations? (not sure I know what you mean by invitations...)

I had a similar thought: "What are you trying to sell?"

Are you new to Switzerland? I assume this to be the case. Try not to jump to any conclusions and exercise a little patience. The Swiss like to spend considerably more time before becoming friends than some other cultures.

Perhaps you may want to re-think your method of making appointments with the Swiss. Perhaps you may have pressured these people a little too much to accept your invitation.

Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success. Brian Adams.
Kind regards.

Still much more valid than having to bite a testicle.

Au contraire - that's the only valid one ;-)

If these are business appointments then I really wonder what you are trying to sell them.

I once was quite put out when a 'friend' said she couldn't visit us with her husband and child, as we'd agreed, because their vacuum cleaner wouldn't work and they had to buy a new one straight away! (wasn't very good for our egos..) It wasn't in Switzerland though..

Only understandable if the vacuum cleaner broke down at least half a year ago. It must be very uncomfortable to free the way by killing cob webs, tons of dust and dirt with a machete

I feel the excuses are most likely sincere! Being part of the Swiss population, we have duties that might appear very unusual to newly arrived inhabitant ;-)
I've been thinking quite a lot about this kind of misunderstanding between the Swiss and foreigners (from almost any country, moving here) , and I have come to the conclusion, that the Swiss think of their society as integrative or a common, shared culture, among different strata of societies ( ..My English is awful !) ; they dislike "parallel cultures" living in the same society side by side, kind of ignoring each other; which is why people are so much watched or stared at in everyday situations.
I would advise patience and tolerance; before throwing in the towel altogether, please wait and give us time to show you, that we are just like you; we just have a lot of societal duties, that we sometimes don't understand, but feel we must do.

I apologize for my confusing post! To clarify slightly, Germans who have moved here recently, often call Switzerland " Wie in der DDR, in schön". "Here it is like it was in Communist East Germany, but it all looks more beautiful."

Hm, I didn't know that the wages in the German Democratic Republic were so high. I must ask my cousins who grew up in this country.
Reading some posts herem it makes me wonder how the government of the DDR would have reacted to an internet forum like this. Let's call it englishforum.ddr on which everybody moans about everything and anybody. I guess, foreigners would be happy just to face expulsion, but as a citizen of the glorious socialist paradise you'd risk at least a couple of years in prison.
Yes Switzerland has indeed much in common with a communist country.
Sometime I really wonder what schools are for. Don't they teach history anymore?