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  #21  
Old 14.06.2012, 16:14
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

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But what is success?
As Pather said, divorce may not be "allowed"? Maybe they cheat on each other because they don't have any interest for each other? Maybe they fight the whole time or just are unhappy without saying they want out?
But I guess that isn't different in a lot of love marriages...

es isch alles ei ding...
well the things you mentioned can be applicable in both cases love or arrange
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  #22  
Old 14.06.2012, 18:20
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

I think
success rates are higher cause you get a chance to choose your MIL ...NO think, I am very sure about this factor!!!!
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  #23  
Old 14.06.2012, 19:51
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

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I think in all arranged marriage, there is a percentage of 'force marriage', and this is what irks the OP. In the end, her friend didnt really have any freedom of choice, if he fell in love with a blue eyed blonde swiss, their relationship wouldnt have been accepted.
.
Isn't this racist ? I mean some people marrying only people from the same culture, otherwise the marriage wouldn't have been accepted...

On a serious note though, I believe everyone should choose their husband-wife, not the parents..no matter divorce rate etc. At the end of the day you're the one who'll have to live every single day with that person. I know being a matchmaker is somehow irresistible for the parents, or friends, even in Western cultures...but still...You're the one who has to decide, and that with as little interference as possible..
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Old 14.06.2012, 19:52
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

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i wish someone would arrange a marriage for me. it would save me a lot of hassle.
Isn't that your job though?
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Old 14.06.2012, 20:38
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

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I think
success rates are higher cause you get a chance to choose your MIL ...NO think, I am very sure about this factor!!!!
Ehrr, actually they choose you..
....or they choose...your parents It's like me when I was about 12 and talked with my best friend that if she was to have a boy and me - a girl, then they will have to marry each other.. You know what, maybe it's not such a bad idea..
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  #26  
Old 14.06.2012, 20:43
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

That's just their culture. I doubt if he is "purely Swiss" in this case otherwise he wouldn't agree to the arranged marriage.
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  #27  
Old 14.06.2012, 20:47
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

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That's just their culture. I doubt if he is "purely Swiss" in this case otherwise he wouldn't agree to the arranged marriage.
That was my thought too...
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  #28  
Old 15.06.2012, 19:49
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

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Ehrr, actually they choose you..
....or they choose...your parents It's like me when I was about 12 and talked with my best friend that if she was to have a boy and me - a girl, then they will have to marry each other.. You know what, maybe it's not such a bad idea..
Boy this is called child marriage,isn't it?

I know quite a few swiss and american families who have had arranged marriages.
I think it is a healthy practice(when no "force factor" is involved)....the parents do the job of introducing the 2 which in western countries is similar to partner- search agencies.
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  #29  
Old 15.06.2012, 21:21
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

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Isn't that your job though?
No, I'm a dating/relationship consultant for people to help people already in relationships or those looking to be in a relationship. I don't 'arrange' marriages, although it sounds like this could be a lucrative side line!
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  #30  
Old 16.06.2012, 09:42
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

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One of my employees informed me yesterday that he's engaged.
Of course I congratulated him and he seems very happy.

Now the weird thing:
His family is from Sri Lanka but he was born and grew up in Switzerland. I can't say he is integrated because he already is purely swiss.

Now this girl he knows since childhood but never seen longer than a few days at a time (she's also Sri Lankan) is coming over from France to get married and live happily ever after with him.
So far so good. It just makes me feel uncomfortable to see an arranged wedding happening under my nose.
I guess, some of the arranged marriages can turn out better than the love based ones but still I feel weird about it...
You know alot of people from Sri Lanka came out to avoid persecution in the late 80's early 90's and now they are a part of switzerland yes I even remember one swiss revue had a sri lanken on the front of its cover that was going to defend switzerland if he had to. As far as them bringing their culture to switzerland and having a arranged marriage that is something that happens even here where I am now in Australia. Is it a better arrangement. Who knows. I have the feeling though there is a love interest here and disappointment. But one thing about having the best interests of others is: you always respect and want the best of the other no matter what yes. Have happy thoughts.
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  #31  
Old 16.06.2012, 20:46
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

As long as they are happy I don't think it's bad... Still, I know how you feel, one of my best friends got married after her parents took the decision for her and it was weird, for me and for her.

She is now very happy but at the beginning she was kind of scared. She knew the guy, their families had been friends for a long time but she had lost contact with him for years.

For me it was weird since I wasn't use to the concept "arranged marriages". Nowadays I don't know if I approve them or not but as long as both parts are okay with the wedding it doesn't bother me.
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  #32  
Old 16.06.2012, 21:28
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

I think it just a cultural thing where we in the west think it is strange. However, judging by spme of the boys my 16 year old daughter is bringing home, I might be in favour of introducing it into the family for the first time.

PM me with pictures if you're in the market. Two cows and a couple of chickens should do it.
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  #33  
Old 16.06.2012, 21:34
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

i'd have no problem with an arrangement since one still has a veto if one has a bad feeling about the situation

I too would consider an arrangement; if anyone knows someone (F)
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  #34  
Old 16.06.2012, 21:48
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

I worked with a number of chaps from India for a large USBank in London. Several of them were very happy for the arranged marriages, talking me through the process of how their parents would arrange for them to meet the girls on their trips back etc
One chap who I was particularly friendly with, told me he had no time to be meeting girls on his own, so he was happy with this process & looking forward to it. After he married and left the UK, he wrote me an email to say how happy he was with his new wife. It is a little personal to say all he said, but I was so happy for him. Before him, I had my doubts about arranged marriages, he completely changed my view.
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  #35  
Old 16.06.2012, 22:35
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

Mate of mine, and his wife - Pakistanis - arranged their daughter's marriage. She agreed every step of the way, and at any time could have rejected the proposals. She also had absolute freedom to have a love match if that's the way it happened. Sadly, her marriage didn't work out, and they got divorced, with the full support of her family.

Not to say there aren't abuses, but I've known and I know a fair few arranged marriages in the West. Some worked, some didn't. None were forced.

I doubt there's many parents anywhere who think they couldn't find better spouses for their offspring than their children could.
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  #36  
Old 18.06.2012, 11:46
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

Ahem, Phil.....how many goats do you want????? I can round up a few!!!!
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  #37  
Old 18.06.2012, 12:16
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

Arranged marriages, was there ever anything more ridiculous? The idea that your parents can choose your marriage partner in this day and age is totally bloody stupid.

People point out the "cultural differences", but the only difference is that arranged marriages are culturally backward.
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Old 18.06.2012, 12:23
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

I wrote an article how as a Western woman in America dating men who all just want to play, how I wish I could have an arranged marriage. Statistics show they last longer, and people are happier. That is not a forced marriage. It happens in many cultures.
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  #39  
Old 18.06.2012, 12:26
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

Arranged marriages by consentment (ie NOT forced) were very common amongst Catholics (who were a very small minority in my Canton then) right up to the60/70s- in order to keep the Catholic Church afloat.

Particularly in the area of Cerneux-Pequignot, near Le Locle, which was annexed to Switzerland without consultation- a small French Catholic village suddenly finding itself part of a staunchly Protestant Neuchatel Canton.
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Old 18.06.2012, 12:30
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Re: arranged marriages in switzerland???

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I wrote an article how as a Western woman in America dating men who all just want to play, how I wish I could have an arranged marriage. Statistics show they last longer, and people are happier. That is not a forced marriage. It happens in many cultures.
Haha! Yeah, whatever. What statistics? And if what you're saying is true (which I doubt) then I think it's easy to see why - If you're stupid enough to marry who your parents tell you to then you're also more likely to be daft enough to stick in that marriage even though you're not fulfilled.

Most likely these statistics are compiled by people with an agenda or who are trying to find answers for their own failed marriages or failure to find a partner.

Last edited by Loz1983; 18.06.2012 at 12:31. Reason: typo
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