So I usually refrain to do a number 2 in places other than home. However, today nature called....and when I mean called...I..alright, TMI and you get the picture. So I had to go. I walked into the bathroom, grabbed some paper and wiped the seat. As I don't want to sit my nice, firm and toned behind on "insert deity of your choice here" knows what, I deciced to do a paper doughnut. Yes, 3 plies in the back, 3 to the right and 3 to the left. So far so good. As I wanted to sit down, the gust blew away the rear and the left 3 plies. I grabbed some paper to pick up the papers from the floor and substituted the aforementioned 6 plies. At this point in time, the bowl started to fill with unused plies of toilet paper. As I turned around to sit down again, I knocked over the left 3 plies, which then needed replacement. So I grabbed some paper to pick up the paper on the floor and as I bend down, I pushed the right 3 plies to the floor. Again, I grab some paper and replaced the 3 plies. As I look into the bowl...I understood, that I definitely needed to flush, as otherwise, this would have ended uglier than it already did. Therefore, I flushed and water splashed onto my neatly arranged paper doughnut. I flushed down the paper doughnut, wiped the seat and carefulyl re-issued another paper doughnut...making sure, that no further mishaps will take place. Ah, finally...I'm sitting there, taking care of business...as I wanted to wipe, I find out that I'm out of paper!!

ha ha ha! That is hilarious! Don't think I'll be eating a doughnut for a while though

I always carry alcohol hand cleaner in my handbag. That way you don't need to much paper.

I also carry paper hankies

Why sort of place do you work at that you need to do this?

Tom

LiBby, remember some time back my "what is hello" thread ( it had to do with the habit of kissing but some ungrateful Mod changed the title to I forget what )
anyways... in that thread you mentioned you didn't like to kiss hello...

remind me not to shake hands with you either next time you are fortunate enuf to meet me.

I'm somewhat fuzzy about dirt..especially other people's dirt.

And you did this at work? This action must have taken ages. Interesting what people nowadays are paid for

You might want to get some of these and keep them in your work bag for next time an emergency situation occurs

That's two trees right there you flashed down the toilet .

I think you have some serious issues

What's the worst that can happen really? Just wipe the seat if you so wish with some alcohol sanitizer. Sit down and job's a good'en!

And I always thought it was the womenfolk who blocked the toilets for ages and ages.

fixed that.

Ts, ts, always these generalizations!

Time you learned to crouch...

and until now, i thought lost_inbroad was a bloke!

This was posted half an hour ago, are you still sat there, deciding how to wipe your ungrateful ass (sic)?

Or are you, as I suspect, waiting for the building to empty, so you can sneak into the neighbouring cubicle, trolleys round your ankles, to steal their paper?

I hope you at least left it clean for the next guy.

Not sure whether it's an urban myth but apparently the average computer keyboard harbours more nasty bacteria than a bog seat. The bog seat gets cleaned once a day (supposedly). How often is the average keyboard scrubbed of its crumbs, sneeze residue, mucky fingerprints, etc.?

you mean to say you don't know how to use the 3 seashells?