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Old 07.08.2012, 15:45
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Toilet issues at work

So I usually refrain to do a number 2 in places other than home. However, today nature called....and when I mean called...I..alright, TMI and you get the picture. So I had to go. I walked into the bathroom, grabbed some paper and wiped the seat. As I don't want to sit my nice, firm and toned behind on "insert deity of your choice here" knows what, I deciced to do a paper doughnut. Yes, 3 plies in the back, 3 to the right and 3 to the left. So far so good. As I wanted to sit down, the gust blew away the rear and the left 3 plies. I grabbed some paper to pick up the papers from the floor and substituted the aforementioned 6 plies. At this point in time, the bowl started to fill with unused plies of toilet paper. As I turned around to sit down again, I knocked over the left 3 plies, which then needed replacement. So I grabbed some paper to pick up the paper on the floor and as I bend down, I pushed the right 3 plies to the floor. Again, I grab some paper and replaced the 3 plies. As I look into the bowl...I understood, that I definitely needed to flush, as otherwise, this would have ended uglier than it already did. Therefore, I flushed and water splashed onto my neatly arranged paper doughnut. I flushed down the paper doughnut, wiped the seat and carefulyl re-issued another paper doughnut...making sure, that no further mishaps will take place. Ah, finally...I'm sitting there, taking care of business...as I wanted to wipe, I find out that I'm out of paper!!
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Old 07.08.2012, 15:48
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Re: Toilet issues at work

ha ha ha! That is hilarious! Don't think I'll be eating a doughnut for a while though
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Old 07.08.2012, 15:49
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Re: Toilet issues at work

I always carry alcohol hand cleaner in my handbag. That way you don't need to much paper.

I also carry paper hankies
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Old 07.08.2012, 15:57
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Re: Toilet issues at work

Why sort of place do you work at that you need to do this?

Tom
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Old 07.08.2012, 15:57
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Re: Toilet issues at work

LiBby, remember some time back my "what is hello" thread ( it had to do with the habit of kissing but some ungrateful Mod changed the title to I forget what )
anyways... in that thread you mentioned you didn't like to kiss hello...

remind me not to shake hands with you either next time you are fortunate enuf to meet me.
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Old 07.08.2012, 15:58
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Re: Toilet issues at work

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Why sort of place do you work at that you need to do this?

Tom
I'm somewhat fuzzy about dirt..especially other people's dirt.
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Old 07.08.2012, 15:59
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Re: Toilet issues at work

And you did this at work? This action must have taken ages. Interesting what people nowadays are paid for
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Old 07.08.2012, 16:03
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Re: Toilet issues at work

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Old 07.08.2012, 16:04
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Re: Toilet issues at work

You might want to get some of these and keep them in your work bag for next time an emergency situation occurs
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toilet-issues-work-toilet-seat-covers.jpg  
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Old 07.08.2012, 16:08
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Re: Toilet issues at work

That's two trees right there you flashed down the toilet .
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Old 07.08.2012, 16:10
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Re: Toilet issues at work

I think you have some serious issues

What's the worst that can happen really? Just wipe the seat if you so wish with some alcohol sanitizer. Sit down and job's a good'en!
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Old 07.08.2012, 16:10
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Re: Toilet issues at work

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And you did this at work? This action must have taken ages. Interesting what people nowadays are paid for
And I always thought it was the womenfolk who blocked the toilets for ages and ages.
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Old 07.08.2012, 16:10
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Re: Toilet issues at work

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That's two trees, and one log, right there you flashed down the toilet .
fixed that.
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Old 07.08.2012, 16:12
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Re: Toilet issues at work

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And I always thought it was the womenfolk who blocked the toilets for ages and ages.
Ts, ts, always these generalizations!
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Old 07.08.2012, 16:14
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Re: Toilet issues at work

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So I usually refrain to do a number 2 in places other than home. However, today nature called....and when I mean called...I..alright, TMI and you get the picture. So I had to go. I walked into the bathroom, grabbed some paper and wiped the seat. As I don't want to sit my nice, firm and toned behind on "insert deity of your choice here" knows what, I deciced to do a paper doughnut. Yes, 3 plies in the back, 3 to the right and 3 to the left. So far so good. As I wanted to sit down, the gust blew away the rear and the left 3 plies. I grabbed some paper to pick up the papers from the floor and substituted the aforementioned 6 plies. At this point in time, the bowl started to fill with unused plies of toilet paper. As I turned around to sit down again, I knocked over the left 3 plies, which then needed replacement. So I grabbed some paper to pick up the paper on the floor and as I bend down, I pushed the right 3 plies to the floor. Again, I grab some paper and replaced the 3 plies. As I look into the bowl...I understood, that I definitely needed to flush, as otherwise, this would have ended uglier than it already did. Therefore, I flushed and water splashed onto my neatly arranged paper doughnut. I flushed down the paper doughnut, wiped the seat and carefulyl re-issued another paper doughnut...making sure, that no further mishaps will take place. Ah, finally...I'm sitting there, taking care of business...as I wanted to wipe, I find out that I'm out of paper!!
Time you learned to crouch...
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Old 07.08.2012, 16:18
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Re: Toilet issues at work

and until now, i thought lost_inbroad was a bloke!
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Old 07.08.2012, 16:19
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Re: Toilet issues at work

This was posted half an hour ago, are you still sat there, deciding how to wipe your ungrateful ass (sic)?

Or are you, as I suspect, waiting for the building to empty, so you can sneak into the neighbouring cubicle, trolleys round your ankles, to steal their paper?
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Old 07.08.2012, 16:22
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Re: Toilet issues at work

I hope you at least left it clean for the next guy.

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Old 07.08.2012, 16:22
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Re: Toilet issues at work

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I'm somewhat fuzzy about dirt..especially other people's dirt.
Not sure whether it's an urban myth but apparently the average computer keyboard harbours more nasty bacteria than a bog seat. The bog seat gets cleaned once a day (supposedly). How often is the average keyboard scrubbed of its crumbs, sneeze residue, mucky fingerprints, etc.?
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Old 07.08.2012, 16:22
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Re: Toilet issues at work

you mean to say you don't know how to use the 3 seashells?
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