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Uetliburg, ZH
Maverick professor and assistant attacked by angry mob
There were angry scenes at Castle Uetliburg last night as a self-styled 'professor' and his disabled assistant were attacked by an angry mob, who tarred and feathered them and left them for dead.
Victor F* spoke to 20 Minutes from his hospital bed this morning:
"I was working late with
Ygor M*, bottling some, er, things that we, er, needed to bottle, when I heard a commotion outside. Ygor looked through the bars of the window and squealed. When I looked out I saw a horde of angry villagers walking up from Zurich with torches. I don't know what we'd done to annoy them. They were really awfully cross."
The professor went on to tell our reporter that the villagers forced their way into the castle, dragged him and his assistant outside, painted them with tar and rolled them in feathers, before leaving them in a ditch and heading back down to Zurich to kill some pigs or something.
Victor F* has previously been subject to unproven allegations concerning homunculi, misuse of an electric pylon and grave robbing. It is not known whether last night's events were related to these rumours.
*Names known to 20 Minutes __________________________________________________ ___________________________
There you go! Nice simple explanation. Nothing to see. Continue about your business. Move on, move on, etc.
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