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  #21  
Old 11.04.2013, 03:30
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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About "If you are male and short, you will struggle as most women will have their height requirements set at 1.80 m and above"

No problem, I just tell them my height when I am lying on my back
Yeah, one guy made himself a full three inches taller than he was - making him three inches shorter than me. I'm happy with my height or taller, it's how I roll, if you are exceptionally interesting an inch shorter will still fly but I feel weird if it's more. But because I have the extremely bad taste of being overweight, I got all sorts of insults for being a demanding person who should be glad that anyone would even consider her...
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  #22  
Old 11.04.2013, 07:52
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

I have heard of more than one success story back in the States, but I cannot say the same for Switzerland. I think it's more old-fashioned here so meeting a potential partner online is still a bit of a taboo. Maybe not. This statement about women putting their height requirement as 1.8 m I'd like to refute. I don't believe all women care to have their man that tall. As long as he is not significantly shorter than you, women don't care if you're personality shines.

On another note, I wonder if there is a "dating site" for finding a new best friend or just friend. If done right, I think a site like that would be very popular for expats, internationals, people who've moved cities, etc.
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  #23  
Old 11.04.2013, 11:38
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

You need to identify what are your absolutes, and what are nice-to-have qualities. You need to make sure you are an interesting prospect for a lover, too.

I think a problem with online dating is it forces you to make absolutes out of things you might ordinarily not care too much about (correct me if I am wrong, since I've never done it, but I am under the impression there are boolean questions that determine your potential matches). This is based on many comments I see about things like height, which people are usually flexible on, so long as there's no extreme difference. Much of romancing is about taking a leap of faith, and being open to the adventure. Attraction can take us by surprise - a person we find chemistry with can be completely different to what we imagined, and it can be good to learn and change from new people.

A lot of people seem to be single because they have an extensive list of absolute things they are looking for in a partner, and don't make the connection that this might be why they remain single.
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Old 11.04.2013, 11:48
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

I definitely dont agree with Coconut! Swissfriends is a good site that in general keeps time wasters away. I know as I met my wife on swissfriends (we married last August ) What I would say is that be honest (but upbeat) i.e. no need to put yourself down. Also try to date rather than chat for too long via email exchange, more than 2 weeks chatting and you are likely to be disappointed as you will build a mental picture of that person who will inevitably not live up to it! Also if you do go on a date and its not a complete disaster i.e. the person that turns up is definitely not for you, try to go on a second date with him or her and you will find out if your first impressions were right or wrong.

Also dating sites allow you to meet a lot of people in a short space of time and it allows you to figure out what you like and what you don't like in a potential partner.

Good luck and dont lose faith!
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Old 11.04.2013, 11:54
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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I definitely dont agree with Coconut! Swissfriends is a good site that in general keeps time wasters away. I know as I met my wife on swissfriends (we married last August ) What I would say is that be honest (but upbeat) i.e. no need to put yourself down. Also try to date rather than chat for too long via email exchange, more than 2 weeks chatting and you are likely to be disappointed as you will build a mental picture of that person who will inevitably not live up to it! Also if you do go on a date and its not a complete disaster i.e. the person that turns up is definitely not for you, try to go on a second date with him or her and you will find out if your first impressions were right or wrong.

Also dating sites allow you to meet a lot of people in a short space of time and it allows you to figure out what you like and what you don't like in a potential partner.

Good luck and dont lose faith!
When I met my boyfriend, he was not too sure, we went on a second date and are still together 2 years later.
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Old 11.04.2013, 12:36
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

I know SO MANY people who went on a first date (not an internet dating thing especially), and almost HATED each other. They reluctantly dared to have a second date, and 4 of these couples are now married. Amazing what can grow, if you give things a chance.

Lots of things are present in first dates that don't let us show our best selves (nerves, newness, uncertainty).
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Old 11.04.2013, 12:41
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

Another word of caution about internet dating, that I just thought about as I read Mr.Grumpy's recent post.

Getting to know someone over emails/IM is not even close to meeting them in person and talking. Everything written is filtered, and the recipient again applies their own interpretation of the words. Every hole in the picture, every gap in the story, gets filled in by imagination. And our own imagination picks the most favorable options to fill those gaps.

This means that in every area that you don't know about the person, you're giving them the best possible qualities. They get so much benefit of the doubt that they seem perfect. Or, at least better than reality.

Careful about internet romance. You're falling in love with your own fantasy, not the person.

If you think someone has potential, meet them asap.
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  #28  
Old 11.04.2013, 13:04
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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Yeah, one guy made himself a full three inches taller than he was - making him three inches shorter than me. I'm happy with my height or taller, it's how I roll, if you are exceptionally interesting an inch shorter will still fly but I feel weird if it's more. But because I have the extremely bad taste of being overweight, I got all sorts of insults for being a demanding person who should be glad that anyone would even consider her...
So you're happy to prefer taller men, but not happy that some men prefer slimmer women? I see.
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  #29  
Old 11.04.2013, 13:06
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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Getting to know someone over emails/IM is not even close to meeting them in person and talking. Everything written is filtered, and the recipient again applies their own interpretation of the words. Every hole in the picture, every gap in the story, gets filled in by imagination. And our own imagination picks the most favorable options to fill those gaps.
Is that any different to meeting in person? You can spend years with someone and still not know the whole person.
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  #30  
Old 11.04.2013, 13:35
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

I did the internet dating back in New Zealand before I met my current partner. I met him while on holiday on a tropical island, but thats another story.

I enjoyed it and had a blast. I met some really interesting guys, some of them I have remained friends with to this day. I went in with a really open mind, and only had one main rule...........no married men.

There were of course the dodgy ones, and if they sent me photos of their "family jewels" I would say thankyou and I am gonna add it to my collection hehe.

If I met someone online and we got on, then I would arrange to meet to them asap as you hear stories of how people get caught up in the romance of an online friendship and when they do meet are dissapointed.

I always think on the internet dating scene men add inches on to their height and woman take off numbers from their age and weight hehehe.

If it didn't work out once we had met, then you just move on and not take it personally. Sometimes you connect, sometimes you don't.

So just have fun with it, and if it works out that is wonderful, but if not it will give you some great stories to share with your mates over drinks
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  #31  
Old 11.04.2013, 13:40
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

Very much so! By email I could say I was slim, handsome with the body of a god! But I could in fact resemble Jabba the Hut i.e. short fat and a little slimy! Fortunately I am closer to the first description, at least my wife thinks so!

What you cant do by email is see how people react to what you say i.e. bored interested or excited and this would give you some idea as to whether or not your date was finding your conversation interesting or not before its too late. But by email you can waffle on forever and the other person will put up with this for a while n then give up.

Also even a photo can lie, so its better to know what the person really looks like up close and personal. As no matter what anyone else says if there is no form of attraction (we are not talking god or goddess like here) then the relationship is doomed and it's better to find out sooner rather than later so that you don't miss your Mr or Mrs right by sending endless emails!
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Old 11.04.2013, 13:41
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

forgot to say I was replying to User's comment. Sorry new at this
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  #33  
Old 11.04.2013, 14:25
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

I met my husband online in 2004. We exhanged emails but only casual and friendly. It was 2008 when we decided we would level up and meet in person. At this point, we already know almost each others whole life history.
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  #34  
Old 11.04.2013, 14:28
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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So you're happy to prefer taller men, but not happy that some men prefer slimmer women? I see.
Does that justify being insulted and put down as she was?
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Old 11.04.2013, 14:32
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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So you're happy to prefer taller men, but not happy that some men prefer slimmer women? I see.
No, not at all, each to their own! What I'm saying is that I got some nasty e-mails without me having made any contact with the writer just to insult me for saying that I'd like a guy to be my height or taller (and a non-smoker). Or if a short guy messaged me and I very politely responded that I was flattered by his interest but that I am attracted to tall men, the response was usually "but it doesn't matter when you are lying down" (which is actually not true) or then straight to "no wonder you are single, fat women shouldn't think they can be choosy".
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  #36  
Old 11.04.2013, 14:33
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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So you're happy to prefer taller men, but not happy that some men prefer slimmer women? I see.
The difference is that she doesn't go around writing insulting emails to men that are shorter simply because she doesn't prefer them, nor telling shorter men that "they're lucky" she even considered them at all.
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  #37  
Old 11.04.2013, 14:35
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

No success for the moment

But I found a new friend (she will stay a good friend)
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  #38  
Old 11.04.2013, 14:39
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

I've always had a feeling I would meet "Mr. Right" online and have been searching for him ever since I started learning German in 1995. Over the 15+ years online, I've met lots of German speakers on all kinds of websites and chat systems but only found my life partner in 2009 on friendscout24. Please don't make the same mistake I did and just meet 1 and wait for love to come. I've wasted a lot of time that way. What really worked was meeting many in a short period of time (I geuss something like speed dating)... for coffee or dinner. When I finally met my husband, I knew pretty much right away that he was the right one. Good Luck
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  #39  
Old 11.04.2013, 14:41
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

And, just an aside, before Nil yells at me for referring to myself as fat - I'm not shapeless, unfit fat, there are no rolls or anything like that, I'm just not Zurich style slim trophy wife material.

One thing I am totally unreasonable about - guys who can't spell (unless they are dyslexic) don't get past the first post. You can be overweight or a Trekkie or obsessively watch football (the real kind) but you can't be a bad speller.
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Old 11.04.2013, 14:41
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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No success for the moment

But I found a new friend (she will stay a good friend)
Take heart, many times successful and long-lasting romantic relationships begin with two people who are "just friends"!
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