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  #41  
Old 11.04.2013, 14:55
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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One thing I am totally unreasonable about - guys who can't spell (unless they are dyslexic) don't get past the first post.
I am dyslexic, but at least I normally spell correctly, and can even beat my wife at Italian scrabble (though she did win last time).

Tom
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  #42  
Old 11.04.2013, 15:05
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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Include a CURRENT profile picture, of YOURSELF (and not some guy/girl who you think looks like you but invariably doesn't), be honest about your vital statistics - if you must, answer 'n/a' rather than making something up, be honest about your smoking/drinking habits and find the right balance between reassuringly normal and memorably quirky.
Indeed.

When I was doing online dating, my picture was always less than a year old, height a number that I could pull off on a good day, and weight a number I had seen in the last week, and correct age.

However, I've met some women who have misrepresented by a large amount all of the above, and others who have been perfectly honest.

Honesty always wins out, if anything they were always pleasantly surprised to see that my self-description was accurate!

I always preferred women who actually read the stuff I wrote, so the last line of my description was "did you actually read this?". Of course, I ended up marrying one of the ones who didn't (because here English is zilch), but generally only dated those who did.

Tom
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  #43  
Old 11.04.2013, 15:24
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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And, just an aside, before Nil yells at me for referring to myself as fat - I'm not shapeless, unfit fat, there are no rolls or anything like that, I'm just not Zurich style slim trophy wife material.

One thing I am totally unreasonable about - guys who can't spell (unless they are dyslexic) don't get past the first post. You can be overweight or a Trekkie or obsessively watch football (the real kind) but you can't be a bad speller.
sounds a bit like the run-down shoe syndrome. could you go for a guy with dirty shoes, or who can't spell, or who wears sandals with socks?

listen to this story:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...pzI4fLY#t=908s
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  #44  
Old 11.04.2013, 15:48
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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Is that any different to meeting in person? You can spend years with someone and still not know the whole person.
It's very different. I'm not sure I buy the idea that you either know someone or don't. There are degrees of awareness, and, indeed, degrees, to which, someone may want to share themselves with us. Lots of grey shades.

"You can spend years with someone and still not know the whole person"yes, agree, but not relevant to the point I made. I'm sure everyone would agree that you never know someone entirely, and nor should you want to. What bearing does that have on it being better to judge someone as their in-person self vs their online filtered self?
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  #45  
Old 11.04.2013, 15:54
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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I did the internet dating back in New Zealand before I met my current partner. I met him while on holiday on a tropical island, but thats another story.

I enjoyed it and had a blast. I met some really interesting guys, some of them I have remained friends with to this day. I went in with a really open mind, and only had one main rule...........no married men.
Please share the stories of both!
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  #46  
Old 11.04.2013, 17:05
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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So you're happy to prefer taller men, but not happy that some men prefer slimmer women? I see.
she didn't even say that, not even a little bit. where did you even pull that from? one thing she did though was mention in passing abuse from men.
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  #47  
Old 11.04.2013, 17:05
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

Hmmm...I think one thing that is common to real life hanging out and pretty secure no-risk online stuff is the shopping list nonsense. If one has a shopping list of preferences, discriminations and specks to impose on the prospective suitors, chances are that one either ends up with the exact opposite of the engineered images of desired person, or never ends up with anyone. It is just a mind game, most of the times.

Everyone is afraid of failure, to immediately discriminate somebody without getting to know them first according to some superficial classifications can be an easy way to just simply not get hurt, not get close. I think only honesty and willingness to dare, irl and online, brings one closer to success. Online match is just a little help, it's probably at the end irrelevant where and how people meet.

Personal taste is a finicky thing, we all discriminate, don't we. But we often abuse our restrictions without even being aware of the tricks we play with ourselves, not mentioning playing with other people.

I have a very close friend who has no idea how long she has before she goes, since she is severely ill. She has had a couple of fantastic partners that were lucky to fish her out of the online mess of soul searchers, but I think her stories have something to do with her amazingly positive attitude, honest openness, intelligence, gratitude, perspective and big heart. Not the actual logistics of how she met her buddies. She always said life is too short to limit it even more. Her being hot is just a bonus
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  #48  
Old 11.04.2013, 17:05
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

Well I will share the successful story of meeting my fiance.....he just proposed to me last Friday after asking my Dad on Skype if he could have my hand in marriage....it was very sweet both of them had tears in their eyes

I went to a beautiful tropical island called Rarotonga, it is about 4 hours from New Zealand, and I went there as a friend of mine was getting married and my sister was going to be bridesmaid. I nearly changed my mind at one point but decided to go.

It was after the reception of the wedding about 3am in the morning, and a few of us were just sitting around the pool drinking some vodka.....I was in my leopard print pjs

My man had just come back from a pub crawl and went for a dip in the pool, and I asked him if he wanted to join us for a drink. We sat and chatted for a few hours.....and I was trying to get my room mate to go back to the room, so I could have some alone time with my man...but she was too wasted hehe.

I managed to get rid of her, and I asked my man if he wanted me to come back to his room for a drink

The next day was his last day in Raro, so he got my email addy and left. I thought nothing more of it, and we emailed a couple of times for the next few months.

Then I didn't hear from him again for another 4 months, and he emailed me saying hi do you remember me, I remember you hehe and what was I doing for New Years and if I was free would I like to come back to Raro for a 2 week first date.

Well I was single and thought why the heck not. I arrived on Christmas Day and he met me at the airport with a flower lei, and it was such a magical two weeks. We decided to do the long distance thing and become exclusive.

It was sad saying goodbye, but two months later he asked me to come to Switzerland for a couple of months, I had been made redundant from work so I had the time. We had a plan before I left that within a years time we would be together whether it was in NZ or Switzerland.

He came over to NZ and met my family for Christmas, and we decided I would do the move to Switzerland.....so I said goodbye to my family and a job I loved, to be here with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

So we will marry this year in Switzerland, and then again in a couple more years at the place in Raro where we met as it is a special place for us, and it means my family and friends can join us, as coming to Switzerland is a bit expensive.

And the wedding I went to in Raro.....the couple divorced a year later and the brides mum always says to me, the best thing that came out the wedding was me meeting my man

Thats my story.......sorry if I rambled too much.
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  #49  
Old 11.04.2013, 17:18
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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I've always had a feeling I would meet "Mr. Right" online and have been searching for him ever since I started learning German in 1995. Over the 15+ years online, I've met lots of German speakers on all kinds of websites and chat systems but only found my life partner in 2009 on friendscout24. Please don't make the same mistake I did and just meet 1 and wait for love to come. I've wasted a lot of time that way. What really worked was meeting many in a short period of time (I geuss something like speed dating)... for coffee or dinner. When I finally met my husband, I knew pretty much right away that he was the right one. Good Luck
I didn't follow this - you seem to write you didn't meet a lot of men, then write that you did and that was what worked best. Which is it? Apologies if I missed something in what you typed.
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Old 11.04.2013, 17:21
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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Well I will share the successful story of meeting my fiance.....he just proposed to me last Friday after asking my Dad on Skype if he could have my hand in marriage....it was very sweet both of them had tears in their eyes

I went to a beautiful tropical island called Rarotonga, it is about 4 hours from New Zealand, and I went there as a friend of mine was getting married and my sister was going to be bridesmaid. I nearly changed my mind at one point but decided to go.

It was after the reception of the wedding about 3am in the morning, and a few of us were just sitting around the pool drinking some vodka.....I was in my leopard print pjs

My man had just come back from a pub crawl and went for a dip in the pool, and I asked him if he wanted to join us for a drink. We sat and chatted for a few hours.....and I was trying to get my room mate to go back to the room, so I could have some alone time with my man...but she was too wasted hehe.

I managed to get rid of her, and I asked my man if he wanted me to come back to his room for a drink

The next day was his last day in Raro, so he got my email addy and left. I thought nothing more of it, and we emailed a couple of times for the next few months.

Then I didn't hear from him again for another 4 months, and he emailed me saying hi do you remember me, I remember you hehe and what was I doing for New Years and if I was free would I like to come back to Raro for a 2 week first date.

Well I was single and thought why the heck not. I arrived on Christmas Day and he met me at the airport with a flower lei, and it was such a magical two weeks. We decided to do the long distance thing and become exclusive.

It was sad saying goodbye, but two months later he asked me to come to Switzerland for a couple of months, I had been made redundant from work so I had the time. We had a plan before I left that within a years time we would be together whether it was in NZ or Switzerland.

He came over to NZ and met my family for Christmas, and we decided I would do the move to Switzerland.....so I said goodbye to my family and a job I loved, to be here with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

So we will marry this year in Switzerland, and then again in a couple more years at the place in Raro where we met as it is a special place for us, and it means my family and friends can join us, as coming to Switzerland is a bit expensive.

And the wedding I went to in Raro.....the couple divorced a year later and the brides mum always says to me, the best thing that came out the wedding was me meeting my man

Thats my story.......sorry if I rambled too much.
Thanks for sharing. What about the guys you stay in touch with - what happened on those dates?
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  #51  
Old 11.04.2013, 17:47
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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I think you may have missed the sarcastic tone.
A beer'll do that to you... It was subtle anyway.
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  #52  
Old 11.04.2013, 18:02
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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Thanks for sharing. What about the guys you stay in touch with - what happened on those dates?
One of them was actually I guy I had met years before at a few social events but he had a girlfriend back then, so when we met the first time we had coffee at a public place and just chatted. I thought he was a bit of alright, he was quite a bit taller than me, I am 5ft 10, so I thought that was a bonus. I have been out with guys shorter than me before as finding someone taller is quite a hard find. The next time I invited him to my place and I made him dinner....he didn't offer to do the dishes nor did he bring anything ie like a bottle of wine, he just sat there.
When I suggested we go out to a movie or something else, all he wanted to do was watch a movie at home.....so for me that was warning signs that he was not for me. I like a bit of life and spark in my men, and someone who likes to go out in public with me hehehe. Now he has settled down with a girl.

Another guy we chatted for a while and we shared a common interest in movies and music, and got along well. We met and got along great, but there wasn't the chemistry spark it was more a friendship one from both sides. He met a girl, and she was from Hungary and now they are married with a daughter.

I had some dodgy requests, I remember one guy asking me he would like to do something dodgy to me, and I was away overseas for work so I said no problems, if you can afford the airfare to come meet me no worries. Funny.....didn't have any more contact from him.

I had requests from females and from couples.....just told them I didn't swing that way lol I was always polite.

I had one date with a guy and he wouldn't look at me in the eye in the whole time....I find that a bit weird to start with. Then after the date, he messaged me on the PC and asked why I hadn't text him in the last hour Warning bells started here.....and went on and on about how that was rude and I should of been texting him..... then he told me he wished me luck in dating as I would need it. Good to see he showed his true colours early.

I always met them at public places, and I had a little notebook with their names and details and mobile numbers, and my mum knew where I kept it.....just in case. I would tell someone where I was going as well.

My ex, we met on an Internet dating site. We were together 5 years, but it just fizzled out ....became roomates rather than a couple. He wasn't a social bunny....more into his World of Warcraft I always said the computer was the other woman hehehe. But he is happy now got a new girlfriend and they bought a house together.

So you have got to wade through a few frogs before you meet your Prince/Princess Charming
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  #53  
Old 11.04.2013, 18:04
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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A beer'll do that to you... It was subtle anyway.
The beauty of being a bystander was imagining a po-faced tone to your posts, which made them fun to read.
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Old 11.04.2013, 18:13
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

I found the love of my life on one! But reality is, chances are small, most people on 'em are looking for a casual hookup. Doesn't hurt to try though
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Old 11.04.2013, 18:23
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

It's worth mentioning that there are a lot of scammers on dating sites. If you look at a site like http://scamwarners.com and in the romance forum, you can see some examples of the scams employed on the dating sites.

On a separate note, I think it's a shame to rule someone out if they cannot spell well. Wouldn't it be better to judge someone's intentions, actions, kindness, honour etc as deal breakers? Why is ability to spell well such a valuable commodity to you? I get that mis-spellings can be mildly irritating, but are they anything more than that?

I think we are all "guilty" of language and punctuation faux-pas from time to time- noone can know all the rules. I like that language is fluid and changes and develops.
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  #56  
Old 11.04.2013, 18:27
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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The beauty of being a bystander was imagining a po-faced tone to your posts, which made them fun to read.
Aiming to please... Isn't that the first rule of dating or something like that?
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  #57  
Old 11.04.2013, 18:42
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

Hehehe
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  #58  
Old 11.04.2013, 18:49
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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Aiming to please... Isn't that the first rule of dating or something like that?
It's a good rule for life! However, I can't quite believe it just yet - we need to continue testing you under strict (the militant in you should like that) conditions (aka your next beer-fuelled posting session).
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Old 11.04.2013, 19:00
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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It's a good rule for life! However, I can't quite believe it just yet - we need to continue testing you under strict (the militant in you should like that) conditions (aka your next beer-fuelled posting session).
Aw c'mon... I said "A beer." lol!
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Old 11.04.2013, 19:11
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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Aw c'mon... I said "A beer." lol!
You really must study the rules of sarcasm urgently. On a separate note, it must be an old wives' tale that men are familiar with exaggeration.
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