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  #141  
Old 01.09.2013, 21:39
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

What I find amusing is how misleading people are with their photos. I mean sure, you need to present ourself at your best, but if that best involves using a photo that is around 3 years old when you were about 10-20KG less, then personally I consider that somewhat dishonest.
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  #142  
Old 25.09.2013, 04:29
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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What I find amusing is how misleading people are with their photos. I mean sure, you need to present ourself at your best, but if that best involves using a photo that is around 3 years old when you were about 10-20KG less, then personally I consider that somewhat dishonest.
Thats extremely dishonest. Theres no questions about it. And i hate when ladies do that.
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  #143  
Old 25.09.2013, 19:13
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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What I find amusing is how misleading people are with their photos. I mean sure, you need to present ourself at your best, but if that best involves using a photo that is around 3 years old when you were about 10-20KG less, then personally I consider that somewhat dishonest.
This very true regardless of the context; romantic, professional, social media etc., but in 3 years people don't age very much. I'd say 5 to 10 years is pushing it.
Any way how many people do you know who actually put on 10 to 20 Kg in 3 years ? (if they do, they might need a doctor more than a picture).
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  #144  
Old 25.09.2013, 21:16
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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This very true regardless of the context; romantic, professional, social media etc., but in 3 years people don't age very much. I'd say 5 to 10 years is pushing it.
Any way how many people do you know who actually put on 10 to 20 Kg in 3 years ? (if they do, they might need a doctor more than a picture).
Sorry Sky but I don't agree, people can certainly change a lot in 3 years, and gaining 10KG is certainly no problem in that time. In fact you can put on more than 10KG in far less time, trust me on that.
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  #145  
Old 25.09.2013, 22:03
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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Sorry Sky but I don't agree, people can certainly change a lot in 3 years, and gaining 10KG is certainly no problem in that time. In fact you can put on more than 10KG in far less time, trust me on that.
One would have to have had a very difficult change in life or health for those kind of physical changes to happen.
I'm not a connaisseur.. must admit (I get hyper if I'm 1 kg off so 10 kg seems like a result due to medication like cortisone or something else).

Digression.. pictures should be current, I do agree. Anything else seems like a denial of reality.
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  #146  
Old 25.09.2013, 23:08
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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One would have to have had a very difficult change in life or health for those kind of physical changes to happen.
You can put on 10KG on in simply through lack of exercise and lots of calories... I've known a fair people who it has happened to. Hell, it's even a statistic that 1 in 5 brides gain 10KG in the first year. http://health.ninemsn.com/sex/relati...ar-of-marriage
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  #147  
Old 07.10.2013, 14:57
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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I've been the one providing - all it gets you as a woman is resentment and nasty comments from the one who depends on you, presumably for him to feel in control again. I prefer men to be 'in charge' because I find having 100% responsibility for absolutely everything exhausting but for me to not be in charge, he would have to do a better job than me. And that's where it falters.

My grandmother raised her three kids alone by working nights and being there for the kids after school during the days - she got divorced from an alcoholic, abusive womaniser. My parents are also divorced because of issues that are not my mum's fault. So feminism or no, I've learnt that picking the wrong guy will get you into deep trouble and having to survive on your own with kids in tow. I prefer to be picky and alone than compromise and be miserable. I think that's rationalism, not feminism.
Again, you only see extremes and no middle ground. Can't both work as a team to figure out the nuances of their relationship (who provides what, who expects what)? Your experiences don't represent women. They represent you. Personal anecdotes don't create facts or extreme trends.
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  #148  
Old 07.10.2013, 15:02
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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I think the laundry list is also due to feeling you will only change how your functioning, stable and most importantly, hurt-free life works for someone who is worth it. The reasons for my 'wants' are based on experiences compromising on this not working out, not because I want to impress my friends or because I read it in a magazine.

Smarter than me with good general knowledge - because otherwise I go into teacher mode. Taller than me - because otherwise I feel I have to protect him. Only a tiny bit shorter or the same height could work if he was built like a tank. Non-smoker/moderate drinker - I despise cigarette smoke, probably because it has made me cough and feel ill since I was little. Cigars/cigarillos on the other hand are fine. I can't drink much (shouldn't at all, but I'm not a saint) for medical reasons, so if drinking is a big part of your life, there isn't much room for me. Reasonably fit - I look after myself, I like being outdoors and I eat healthy (but delicious!) food. And I like physical activities of all kind, if you know what I mean, so having a massive gut is just not going to help with that.

Organised, patient and calm - the only longer relationship I had was with someone like this and it helped me a lot; having ADHD makes you creative, full of ideas and prone to spontaneous, mad ideas but also to feeling overwhelmed by admin and other "grown up" tasks. Animal-lover - I love animals, I have pets, if a guy doesn't like animals, he's not going to fit in. Has a steady job that he is reasonably happy with - I've dated someone on IV and it drove me nuts. I don't want to look after someone, did it for a year, never again, at least not from the outset. If it is for better or worse a long way down the line - no problem. I also don't want to hear 'I hate my job' all the time. Speaks English - 90 % of my family doesn't speak a word of German and I love watching films but never watch the dubbed version.

Is loyal and mentally stable - because, again, I've had enough of people threatening to kill themselves or become abusive because things are not working out for them. Also can't abide people who talk smack about you in front of others. Does not take drugs - because I want a responsible grown-up and I already dated a stoner, it was very annoying. No kids - because I know what it's like to be 'the kid from the first marriage' and it's clearly not brilliant to be the stepmum/stepdad. Also don't like the idea of having an unbreakable tie to some other woman for the rest of my life. Kind and a little old-school - because I can't abide people who are rude to waiters, chew with their mouths open, text at funerals and like to belittle and hurt others. An optimist - because I sometimes struggle with this but definitely tend towards optimism.

That's quite a list but like I said, it's based on what I know did not work out, if it had, I would not be single. I realise there are maybe five single guys in all of Zurich who fit that brief and none of them seems to know I exist or be interested in me. But although I feel a bit lonely sometimes, I'm usually too busy to notice, so if there is nobody like that out there, then so be it... But telling me I'm being too picky is a bit silly - it's not like I'm turning down oxygen, I don't HAVE to find someone, no matter how everybody else's limited ideas of an acceptable life look like. I don't go up to fat people and say - so, you still haven't lost weight, huh? Or to smokers - oh, I see you haven't stopped? So why do people do the equivalent to single people?
If I missed it elsewhere, my apologies, but I've asked you a few times what you have to offer someone. Have you compiled a list like the above about yourself? What do you think you have to offer a potential suitor that they would find attractive?

BTW, nobody targeted single people here. It's simply a discussion, and you volunteered your own situation for discussion - you happened to not like the feedback you received, but that's the risk you take when discussing things.
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  #149  
Old 07.10.2013, 16:56
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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I am about to consider paying to use some dating sites, namely.. swissfriends.ch and anyone of those that keep spamming my inbox. I consider it as an investment in my future, as I've been thinking of settling down * Not Alone*. So, here it goes, I need some of you guys to give me whatever you can about the realities of dating sites of Switzerland.

I would suggest to do it in natural way. There are numerous dating sites which do nothing but full your spam folder. If you really looking for warm relation than just follow basic laws of attraction. Happy hunting. My best wishes.
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  #150  
Old 07.10.2013, 17:23
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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I would suggest to do it in natural way. There are numerous dating sites which do nothing but full your spam folder. If you really looking for warm relation than just follow basic laws of attraction. Happy hunting. My best wishes.
That was the first thing that came to mind, but that is easier said than done.
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Old 07.10.2013, 17:38
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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I would suggest to do it in natural way. There are numerous dating sites which do nothing but full your spam folder. If you really looking for warm relation than just follow basic laws of attraction. Happy hunting. My best wishes.
Dating sites DO work for many people, so to say the "natural way" is the only way is just nonsense. Dating sites will only become more popular and prevalent in future as the population increases, and lives get busier.
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Old 07.10.2013, 18:41
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

and some people need the help of a dating site.....
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  #153  
Old 07.10.2013, 18:46
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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and some people need the help of a dating site.....
How...
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  #154  
Old 07.10.2013, 18:52
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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and some people need the help of a dating site.....
I asked because, I was new to the whole internet-dating scene, and wanted to know which were the legit ones
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  #155  
Old 07.10.2013, 19:00
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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How...
more easy to start to chat with people that could be of some interest (well, that's my own experimentation...)

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I asked because, I was new to the whole internet-dating scene, and wanted to know which were the legit ones
good luck then
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  #156  
Old 07.10.2013, 20:07
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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Dating sites DO work for many people, so to say the "natural way" is the only way is just nonsense.
It sure isn't the only way, but I do prefer just "stumbling" across someone rather than some kind of targeted search on a website, trying to fill some mental checklist (mine and hers). It's very... well, artificial. Forced. It adds an extra level of discomfort to a first meeting that isn't necessary. Just my opinion. I'm sure a lot of people get a lot out of it.
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  #157  
Old 08.10.2013, 09:21
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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That was the first thing that came to mind, but that is easier said than done.

Try your luck at any of the sites and initiate a relationship. And later in your life do it as most of the people do - visiting bars, discs, pubs, malls and rest of the things you must be knowing how to handle your counterpart.

Then compare the quality of relationships from both media. I am not saying all such sites are bad and all 'natural ways' lead to good outcome. But, atleast we can keep relationships out of this VIRTUAL world.
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Old 08.10.2013, 09:27
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Dating sites DO work for many people, so to say the "natural way" is the only way is just nonsense. Dating sites will only become more popular and prevalent in future as the population increases, and lives get busier.
It seems some people out here owns their own dating sites and are on a promotion spree. Lol!!!

If you are looking for fun and not serious about relationship, I ll definitely suggest dating sites. But, to find a perfect partner, traditional ways are enough.

Cheers !!!
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Old 08.10.2013, 10:03
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

Maybe Allan you like dating alcoholic extraverts?

The big advantage for me when I used dating sites, was I could limit my search for someone living near me and who met my basic requirements.

What is the point of going to bars looking for women, who are often out with their friends and just not looking for a partner? You waste your time and you can look to be a fool, when trying to pick up happily married women. By all means go about your daily life with your eyes open, but many people do not trust complete strangers!

Join a good dating site, create a sensible true profile, add two nice pictures and wait. If nobody bites then look at yourself closely: maybe a heavily drinking, partying man, that is wild about bikes and cars, doesn't need a girl friend.
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Old 08.10.2013, 10:08
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Re: Any success stories with dating sites yet?

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If you are looking for fun and not serious about relationship, I ll definitely suggest dating sites. But, to find a perfect partner, traditional ways are enough.
Nonsense, the opposite is true.

Dating sites work much better than trying to pick up someone in a bar as far as relationships go.

Tom
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