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Old 23.06.2013, 11:52
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Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

And if you do, and find your "visitee" has guests, and is obviously in the Apèro stage of dinner - do you go - or do you stay?

Why I ask is that three times now, I`ve had invited guests for a Saturday evening dinner (once a bbq), and others have dropped by (out on a bike ride/walk/or just dropped in) and they S - T - A - Y ...... enjoy a drink ........ and S - T - A - Y ....... gobbling snacks ...... more drink .......... and finally I have to ask if they`d like to stay for the meal (can`t bring myself to say anything else - coward I am) ....... and they accept!

I`m just feeling a bit pissed off this morning after it happened again last night!
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Old 23.06.2013, 11:55
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

The obvious solution would be not to invite them in for a drink in the first place. If they turn up at the door and you are busy just say: "Im really sorry but we have guests, but I'll catch up with you soon etc etc". They may be momentarily put out, but surely that's a small price to pay when weighed against the alternative of them coming in and eating and drinking your stuff and stressing you out?

If you invite them in and don't say anything then you have no reason to complain... I'm sure by now you know you often can't rely on others sense of manners and proprietry.

Last edited by Richdog; 23.06.2013 at 14:20.
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Old 23.06.2013, 12:01
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

To be honest, I can't stand ANYONE dropping by unexpectedly, regardless of whether or not I already have guests or am eating dinner.

And for this reason, I also never drop by unexpectedly on anyone else.
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Old 23.06.2013, 12:09
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

I would never drop by unexpectedly!

I would hate someone to do it to me! .... At least give me 20 minutes to make the place look presentable! ;-)
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Old 23.06.2013, 12:14
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

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I would hate someone to do it to me! .... At least give me 20 minutes to make the place look presentable! ;-)
I'd need at least 2 weeks to do the same...
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Old 23.06.2013, 12:19
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

Ahaha you sound so ............ Swiss

It depends - if someone you vaguely know does this, it may not be so welcome. But with very good friends, our door is always opened - I'd hate them to tell me some time later that they cycled or drove past and didn't dare pop in in case it was inconvenient! And if it is really inconvenient, well I'd just say so - and invite them for another day when we will have time for them. Just have the guts to say so nicely but firmly (glad I nvere had to). Not so hard is it. And yes, we do drop in unexpectedly on very good friends if we find ourselves in their area by chance- but will always pick up the vibes if it is not convenient - and talk to the host quietly if they ask us to stay, to ensure they do not feel they 'have to'.

I find it hilarious when expats go on about how 'stiff' the Swiss are, and then come up with above comments. LOL oh LOL.

Last edited by Odile; 23.06.2013 at 21:05.
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Old 23.06.2013, 12:25
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

I would love to have unexpected guests (neighbours, friends, whatever) but would tell them straight up that we have guests now and I should start getting ready so see yoon!
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Old 23.06.2013, 13:02
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

I don't mind unexpected visitors. My place, being so small, is usually presentable enough and I've always got some kind of food and drink in.

But if I'm already entertaining or otherwise occupied when someone pops round, then I simply tell them I'm busy. Nearly always people fire off a quick SMS or call rather than simply arrive and ring the bell, as our intercom doesn't work well and I always pre-emptively drop a cauldron of hot tar out my window when someone buzzes me without warning, in case it's the billag.
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Old 23.06.2013, 13:06
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

Funny though - if the house is all clean, with fresh flowers (wild or from garden) everywhere, and some nice food in the fridge- nobody pops in. But the day the house looks like a tip and the fridge is bare - hey ho, they all arrive at once. But nobody cares - and we can always rustle up something or other - or will go to one of our local mountain inns.

In French it is called 'à la bonne franquette' - easy peasy take us as we come sort of thing.
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Old 23.06.2013, 13:07
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

I'd be embarrassed to turn someone away just because I already had guests: for me the more the merrier!

As the Greeks say, "a guest is a gift from God"
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Old 23.06.2013, 13:08
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

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I would never drop by unexpectedly!

I would hate someone to do it to me! .... At least give me 20 minutes to put some clothes on! ;-)
ftfy
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Old 23.06.2013, 13:24
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

pre modern technology, ie. mobile phones, it was more popular regular.

Now-a-days if going between A & X and happen to be passing a friend/relative on route have not seen for a while, might stlop by for a coffee/tea, but usually would phone, at least 10 minutes away first, how does one know if a couple are not canoodling or the like?

Did have one Swiss friend who lives in the same village, who would ring my bell, assuming I had nothing else to do. But turning up on a Saturday, 30 minutes before grocery shop closed and I had to get some errands, turned her away immediately.

Do have some very close friends who are welcome to stop by anytime and can sleep over, use the bathroom etc, but they all tend to phone first, maybe from as close as my road.

Some friends tend not to visit, as initial invitation for coffee/drink, then ends up being full afternoon/evening with masses of food being offered. Very difficult for me, as we all speak different languages, then it is the long drive home.
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Old 23.06.2013, 13:30
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

I'd never go to somebody else's place without an invitation. How rude to expect somebody to host you.
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Old 23.06.2013, 13:35
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

In my home country no one ever comes with an advance notice - they just pop in and irrespective of whether or not we have guests, more guests are always welcome and there is always plenty of food. However having lived in different countries, I realized this was not the case everywhere (even if its my own countrymen living in other countries as expats). So now i make it a point to call in advance - if i just want to drop by even then i call and ask if i could just 'drop in'. On the other hand, i still have guests coming over to my home here just 'dropping by' and generally they are welcome.
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Old 23.06.2013, 13:52
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

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And if you do, and find your "visitee" has guests, and is obviously in the Apèro stage of dinner - do you go - or do you stay?

Why I ask is that three times now, I`ve had invited guests for a Saturday evening dinner (once a bbq), and others have dropped by (out on a bike ride/walk/or just dropped in) and they S - T - A - Y ...... enjoy a drink ........ and S - T - A - Y ....... gobbling snacks ...... more drink .......... and finally I have to ask if they`d like to stay for the meal (can`t bring myself to say anything else - coward I am) ....... and they accept!

I`m just feeling a bit pissed off this morning after it happened again last night!
I don't drop in unexpectedly, but I wouldn't mind another guests if I already have some...news arrivals bring new ideas, and the conversation is reinvigorated. Nope, I wouldn't mind more guests, but I would feel embarrassed if people just drop in uninvited and my home is chaotic..as for the drinks and food, I can always face unexpected visits in a honorable way...j
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Old 23.06.2013, 14:01
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

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I'd never go to somebody else's place without an invitation. How rude to expect somebody to host you.
I don't think a good quality "drop in" guest expects anything.

I think Odile summed it all up perfectly in this post:

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Ahaha you sound so ............ Swiss

It depends - if someone you vaguely know does this, it may not be so welcome. But with very good friends, our door is always opened - I'd hate them to tell me some time later that they cycled or drove past and didn't dare pop in in case it was inconvenient! And if it is really inconvenient, well I'd just say so - and invite them for another day when we will have time for them. Just have the guts to say so nicely but firmly (glad I nvere had to). Not so hard is it. And yes, we do drop in unexpectedly on very good friends if we find ourselves in their area by chance- but will always pick up the vibes if it is not convenient - and talk to the host quietly if they ask us to stay, to ensure they do not feel they 'have to'.

I find it hilarious when expats go on about how 'stiff' the Swiss are, and then come up with above comments. LOL oh LOL.

I otherwise agree with you. If a guest expects something, then it's unacceptable without any prior preparation.

A good guest should pick up on the hint.
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Old 23.06.2013, 14:09
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

I love to receive and having all our friends connecting with each other. Our closest friends are down the road and pass by sometimes but never stay when it is unexpected, even if I am happy if they do stay.

Text messages are the norm for all of us so it is never an issue. Beside, I love to receive people at home with nice food, good wine and company.

OP, I understand if the same happen 3 times with the same people and they never contribute in anything! I never go somewhere with empty hands. If it happen unexpected, I will catch up later with something.
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Old 23.06.2013, 14:36
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

I have nothing against anyone turning up unannounced, but in such cases the impromptu visitors should also expect that it may not be convenient.

I also having nothing against the polite use of the smallest word, that so many people seem to have a problem using - if it was applicable to do so.
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Old 23.06.2013, 15:17
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

Gosh - I think dropping-in is a deportable offence around these parts.

No, one visits neighbors by invitation only.* Woe betide the hapless Hausfrau nurtured in more spontaneous climes - 'popping round' is a faux pas not easily forgiven.




*Except Frau Müller of the Geranium Polizei. She has license to inspect one's home and garden pop in for a chat anytime, anywhere. But we lesser mortals must stick to schedules.
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Old 23.06.2013, 15:48
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Re: Do you ever drop in unexpectedly for a visit?

I had an ex boyfriend who popped in to see a new flat i'd just moved into.

He stayed for two years!!! In the spare room, rent free.

Yes, Patsycat is a soft hearted person who takes in strays....
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