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Old 02.11.2014, 15:26
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Did it ever occur to you to approach men yourself? Why make men do all the work? You could always move to Zurich and approach men, most of them would gladly say yes.

However one thing working against you is your age. You are past your prime years for a woman and you'll probably even have to make an effort, possibly even by approaching guys yourself (oh no, equality!). Most guys do prefer women in their 20's regardless of how old the guy is. Even guys in their 40's will choose a woman in her 20's over a 34 year old woman every time. And rightly so, men had it worse in their 20's when women were going after older men as they have more money. You had your time in your 20's, now your peak is over and its the men's turn to have their pick of the litter with younger women.
I found your post so old fashioned and humourous, though very slightly true. First off some single men of 40 or some even in their 30s are looking for a wife, think they have made a life for themselves and start proposing to what they think suitable women in their 20s.

34 for a woman or man in London is not past their prime. Some women panic about their body clock if they want children circa in their 30s or 40s.

Finding a suitable partner, is very much about being out there and socialising in different aspects whilst remaining safe.

One is never past it in my books, very much a mind set.

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1.5 hours sometimes to go less than a mile on the bus, it amazed me to no end how long it could take to get places.
wow that was an extreme case. Has happened to me sometimes. There are ca 10 or 20 million people in London and various transport Links. Thinks do go wrong & a one hour travel has turned into upto close to 3, due mainly to that I had changes of transport and if for some reason something shut down, maybe found myself with many other people searching alternative ways home during the 'rush hours' & was not sure of my location, however that was before mobile phone & tablets that can be a great help. Commuting for many people who live in London is ca one hour + to get to work. Lucky are those who have less than one hour. I had a friend who found somewhere in a flatshare in cheaper central area and was either able to cycle or walk to work in less than 30 minutes. One has to look at where the work location is based on where to live and this is where renting is a good idea.

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  #22  
Old 02.11.2014, 15:55
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Re: London vs Zurich

Well if your workplace here in Zürich is an international company then it should not be a problem that your german is not the best. I think you would pretty quickly get your German together. If you put all other issues aside ( like dating etc )and then consider where would you really like to live,then maybe it would be easier to make a decision.
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Hi all,

I'm currently based in Singapore and am looking to transfer back to Europe. I have the possibility of transferring either to London or Zurich. I am actually a dual Swiss British national and grew up in Geneva so I speak French but my German is quite bad and I have not lived in Switzerland for over 10 years. As I lived in London prior to Singapore, I'm rather tempted by Zurich even though i don't speak the language.

I'm a single 34 year old woman so the dating scene is quite important to me but i'm also looking to settle somewhere permanently.

Any views/advice would be much appreciated!
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Old 02.11.2014, 17:14
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Re: London vs Zurich

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I found your post so old fashioned and humourous, though very slightly true. First off some single men of 40 or some even in their 30s are looking for a wife, think they have made a life for themselves and start proposing to what they think suitable women in their 20s.

34 for a woman or man in London is not past their prime. Some women panic about their body clock if they want children circa in their 30s or 40s.

Finding a suitable partner, is very much about being out there and socialising in different aspects whilst remaining safe.

One is never past it in my books, very much a mind set.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but it has been this way since the dawn of time. Men are most attracted to women who are in their most fertile prime years. You can try and deny it all you like, but you're just kidding yourself.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...osite-sex.html
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Old 02.11.2014, 17:33
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Re: London vs Zurich

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Sorry to burst your bubble, but it has been this way since the dawn of time. Men are most attracted to women who are in their most fertile prime years. You can try and deny it all you like, but you're just kidding yourself.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...osite-sex.html

I am sad to have to admit, the above is right. Not everyone but I have lost count how many men over 40 have said that even 33 was too old for them.
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Old 02.11.2014, 17:35
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Re: London vs Zurich

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I do love the outdoors though!! I am an attractive woman (I look after my appearance and I'm slim and feminine)…could anyone provide me with more details on why the dating/social scene in Zurich is so bad?

Cheers
The dating scene in ZH is fine, it all depends on what you are looking for. If you want casual, short-term flings you'll have no problem with people your age. But the crowd you'll probably fall into will be cashed-up ex pats that is quite transient, so for guys and girls, there is a constant supply of new interests. Bad news is, girls want to settle down earlier. Getting commitment out of a guy under 40 here might be tough, unless you are a really good catch.
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  #26  
Old 02.11.2014, 17:38
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Re: London vs Zurich

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I am sad to have to admit, the above is right. Not everyone but I have lost count how many men over 40 have said that even 33 was too old for them.
Yep, and in my 20's and teens I lost count of how many women that weren't interested in a guy their own age. Instead they chased after guys in their 30's cause they knew they had more money.

You had your time in your teens and 20's, now let the men have their turn. It's only fair.
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  #27  
Old 02.11.2014, 17:41
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Re: London vs Zurich

To Switzerlanded: I'm not sure how well you know Asia but I'm based in Singapore not the Philippines or Thailand...most Singaporean Chinese women do not fit the description you made of Asian women...most of them don't know how to cook, have no household skills and are very career minded. I will grant you that many office girls are slim and feminine but they are on a par with girls from New York or the city in London. And for the rest of the population obesity is a growing problem like everywhere else. Bear in mind that Chinese culture is such that many are extremely hard nosed and will not stop at anything to get what they want including a white guy even if he's married...Chinese women do prefer Caucasian men and many of these men just get completely manipulated.

Secondly, yes I'm aware of my age thanks. Unfortunately my being single is not entirely my choice; it takes two to tango so what do you want me to do: sit down and cry at my age or embrace what life gives me!! I also wouldn't assume you know everything about me or who I am or why I came to Singapore or what my aspirations are. Life is complicated and you don't always get what you want.
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Old 02.11.2014, 17:49
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Re: London vs Zurich

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I am sad to have to admit, the above is right. Not everyone but I have lost count how many men over 40 have said that even 33 was too old for them.
Ha ha ha? Really?

In that case, single people everywhere should rejoice, for they have dodged a bullet.

The comments above don't suggest people are missing out on much... shallow women looking for a man-shaped wallet to fund their vanilla flavoured life ambitions and shallow men looking to satisfy their narrow and generic sexual desires.

Excuse me if I choose not to participate... I will get a cat.
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Old 02.11.2014, 17:49
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Re: London vs Zurich

Officegirl, would you approach men? it amuses me at the number of women who complain about the "lack of decent men" yet they never make any effort to approach guys themselves.

If you are willing to approach guys then you won't have too much difficulty anywhere, including switzerland. You need to realise your golden years are over, so don't expect men to come chasing after you anymore.
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Old 02.11.2014, 18:04
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Re: London vs Zurich

To Switzerlanded: I'm a very shy lady and I like to be approached by men. I am actually rather traditional unfortunately. I still get compliments from men and I am often asked out by men in their late twenties/early thirties. My last boyfriend was five years younger than me and I just felt that sooner or later he would lose attraction for me. So I'm interested in dating older men. My experience is that many men behave like adolescents well into their thirties and have no interest in settling down. I wish I could attract more older men than all the young men that I do.
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Old 02.11.2014, 18:04
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Re: London vs Zurich

There's some tension here..I wonder if we will see an increase of meat market threads before Christmas.

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what do you want me to do: sit down and cry at my age..
Oh no, sis..nobody does that no mo. That's like hundred years ago.

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You need to realise your golden years are over, so don't expect men to come chasing after you anymore.
Golden years for what..effort free frivolity? I don't think OP has expressed interest for that at all.

Interesting, slightly anachronistic ideas.

Isn't a decent bonding moment a matter of two people making effort? At any age? Or, are you expressing a general wish for chicks making more chasing efforts, esp after certain age?

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Excuse me if I choose not to participate... I will get a cat.
Pets are fun.

OP - just be happy and strong. That magnetizes. At any age. Being shy can be attractive. So is being modest.
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Old 02.11.2014, 18:12
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Re: London vs Zurich

Thanks MusicChick!! I didn't want to sound full of myself! I would just genuinely like to meet an older decent guy rather than a young guy who just fools around and which I seem to attract!
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Old 02.11.2014, 18:18
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Re: London vs Zurich

Seems to me that if you've got friends in London from the last time you were there then that's a good route for meeting yet more people. Hopefully I'm not the exception but my o/h and I met each other in our mid-thirties in London (through friends). I'd say the scope for meeting people is vastly greater in London given the population and social scene (though I don't know and probably will never know the Zurich social scene as well!) Most important thing is to get out and be active wherever you are - plenty of social networks in and around London (London is not the be all and end all in the UK) are there to facilitate that. Maybe go to London and do an evening course in German!
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Old 02.11.2014, 18:35
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Re: London vs Zurich

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To Switzerlanded: I'm a very shy lady and I like to be approached by men. I am actually rather traditional unfortunately. I still get compliments from men and I am often asked out by men in their late twenties/early thirties. My last boyfriend was five years younger than me and I just felt that sooner or later he would lose attraction for me. So I'm interested in dating older men. My experience is that many men behave like adolescents well into their thirties and have no interest in settling down. I wish I could attract more older men than all the young men that I do.
So you say you're traditional and old fashioned? Does this mean you also don't work, stay home and do all the housework and cooking for your partner and make sure you do everything to please him? This including sex whenever he desires? What, is that a no? So why do you want equality and "tradition" in other aspects when it only suits you?

If you no longer get men approaching you in 5 years time, will you approach men then, or just remain single and complaining about the lack of decent men that aren't approaching you?

Also can you blame more men not wanting to commit these days when the family courts and laws and heavily stacked against them? Most men know they get totally screwed over from divorce. This is why many men are either going their own way (MGTOW) or seeking traditional Asian women instead.
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Old 02.11.2014, 18:48
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Re: London vs Zurich

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So you say you're traditional and old fashioned? Does this mean you also don't work, stay home and do all the housework and cooking for your partner and make sure you do everything to please him? This including sex whenever he desires? What, is that a no? So why do you want equality and "tradition" in other aspects when it only suits you?

If you no longer get men approaching you in 5 years time, will you approach men then, or just remain single and complaining about the lack of decent men that aren't approaching you?

Also can you blame more men not wanting to commit these days when the family courts and laws and heavily stacked against them? Most men know they get totally screwed over from divorce. This is why many men are either going their own way (MGTOW) or seeking traditional Asian women instead.
Cool down mate. I think it is not so gentleman to attack a lady like this, even virtually. Everyone is entitled to his/her way in relationship; there is not really a definite right and wrong way...
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Old 02.11.2014, 18:56
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Re: London vs Zurich

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Officegirl, would you approach men? it amuses me at the number of women who complain about the "lack of decent men" yet they never make any effort to approach guys themselves.

If you are willing to approach guys then you won't have too much difficulty anywhere, including switzerland. You need to realise your golden years are over, so don't expect men to come chasing after you anymore.
don't all women approach men these days?
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Old 02.11.2014, 19:00
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Re: London vs Zurich

I would be prepared to compromise on my career if I met a decent guy so as a corollary I like chivalrous men who approach women. Regarding tradtional Asian women you might be interested to note the headline of one of the articles that appeared today in the main newspaper:-
"A growing number of marriages between Singaporean men (ie developed Asia) and Vietnamese women (tradtional Asia) are ending speedily in annulment, lawyers say. Some men claim their wives ran away just days after the wedding, before consummating the marriage. Many have told lawyers their brides refused to have sex, demanded payment for it, or said sex would have to wait until after they obtained permanent residence in Singapore. One man saw his lawyer after his bride asked for 80 Singapore Dollars to have see for the first time. Most men feel the women just want to work in Singapore and are not interested in marriage."

Regarding divorce law, I'm actually a trained lawyer with previous divorce law experience and I can assure you that when a couple divorced, both the man and the woman lose out. Many people living under the poverty line in Europe are divorced women who were stay at home wives. !!! But yeah I'm still prepared to compromise on my career despite the risks!! And as you day as a couple grows older it's the woman that has more to lose as she becomes more physically unattractive. 😉
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Old 02.11.2014, 19:08
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Re: London vs Zurich

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don't all women approach men these days?
Like grab them by their hair and drag them into their den..? Yeah.

OP - the idea of a woman losing out because she gets considered unattractive by some people (took the liberty to rephrase)..it's a matter of perspective on attractiveness, primal instincts and maturity, I guess. If I remember well the period a lady gets generally not considered hot any longer is only a few years before a guy. I do agree with you on the terrible risks of dependant stay at home partners, esp in a foreign environment.
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Old 02.11.2014, 19:13
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Re: London vs Zurich

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Thanks MusicChick!! I didn't want to sound full of myself! I would just genuinely like to meet an older decent guy rather than a young guy who just fools around and which I seem to attract!
(I wouldn't rule out fooling around, irrespective of age, since if you both are quality it always has a chance to develop into something special...without the heaviness of stiff planning. Just throwin' it out there. Btw - what I appreciate about the Swiss and some others, is sincerity. So maybe ZH would suit you well?')
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Old 02.11.2014, 19:25
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Re: London vs Zurich

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I would be prepared to compromise on my career if I met a decent guy so as a corollary I like chivalrous men who approach women. Regarding tradtional Asian women you might be interested to note the headline of one of the articles that appeared today in the main newspaper:-
"A growing number of marriages between Singaporean men (ie developed Asia) and Vietnamese women (tradtional Asia) are ending speedily in annulment, lawyers say. Some men claim their wives ran away just days after the wedding, before consummating the marriage. Many have told lawyers their brides refused to have sex, demanded payment for it, or said sex would have to wait until after they obtained permanent residence in Singapore. One man saw his lawyer after his bride asked for 80 Singapore Dollars to have see for the first time. Most men feel the women just want to work in Singapore and are not interested in marriage."

Things are a lot different in the English speaking western world. In these countries women initiate divorce a whopping 70% of the time. They are more likely to initiate divorce than men because they know the laws and family courts favour women.

By the way if you like chivalrous men (yet don't live up to your end of the equality bargain) then you'll love London. There is no shortage of English men who worship women and kiss the ground they walk on. Lucky Swiss men have more sense and have realised women need to make an effort as well.

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Regarding divorce law, I'm actually a trained lawyer with previous divorce law experience and I can assure you that when a couple divorced, both the man and the woman lose out.
Wow, just wow. Where were you a lawyer exactly? Perhaps things are more fair in Singapore but I can assure you they aren't in the UK and other English speaking Western countries. It is a well known fact that the courts always side with the woman, often awarding her full custody of the children, the house, and most of the mans money. If you're in the US men also have to pay alimony on top of child support. Men are the ones often left without their kids, their home, and very little money. I seriously doubt you are a family law lawyer, or clearly you would be aware of this.
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