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  #21  
Old 01.01.2015, 15:00
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Re: Colleague trying to get money

I would be delighted to have my friends stay (for up to about 2 weeks!) and cannot understand how you could possibly ask anyone for money. Maybe if you own a holiday property which you rent out and your friends want to stay during peak season then ok because you'd be losing money but otherwise... Well, they just sound like tightarses.


Edit: Was replying to Island Monkey.
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  #22  
Old 01.01.2015, 15:05
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A colleague was just a way of saying, meaning that she is not a good friend of mine, that she is someone I knew. And after calling all my friends which were not in town due to the holiday season, I called her.

She does not work with me.

She had a business before but closed.

Now she does not work.

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Yes, you SHOULD DO so.
What is the name of the report I should do?

Would that protect me against her lies?

I have no idea how this works here.

Last edited by 3Wishes; 01.01.2015 at 20:11. Reason: merging successive posts
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  #23  
Old 01.01.2015, 15:07
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Re: Colleague trying to get money

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A colleague was just a way of saying, meaning that she is not a good friend of mine, that she is someone I knew. And after calling all my friends which were not in town due to the holiday season, I called her.

She does not work with me.

She had a business before but closed.

Now she does not work.
in that case tell her to f@ck off and don't pay anything.
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Old 01.01.2015, 15:10
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Re: Colleague trying to get money

I agree that you probably shouldn't worry too much about her accusations. But, just to play it safe, I suggest that you do try to keep any further communication with her in a recordable format (e.g. e-mails or text messages) rather than phone calls.

I hope things at your own home have improved and that you have been able to return there comfortably.

Best wishes, and good luck!
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  #25  
Old 01.01.2015, 15:10
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Re: Colleague trying to get money

Take a 100chf note and poop on it, send that with a nice note telling her to eat it.
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  #26  
Old 01.01.2015, 15:11
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Re: Colleague trying to get money

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Hi Guys,

I need some urgent advice.

Last week there was a major issue in my house, then a colleague, a woman that I know for some time offered for me to stay in her house as I could not return to mine.

Today when I was getting ready, she told me to get ready that she wold be sending me the bill for the stay in her house plus the food I ate there ( mind I took food from my home to her house ).
To top it up, she also told me that she would send me a list of missing items of her house as she wants money.

Needless to say, this is not true.
She owns a house, but have been unemployed for 2 years.

What should I do?
Should I go immediately and make a report against her?
Where?
I just want to be protected. I just cannot even believe she said that when I was leaving.

And she was so eager to help me when I needed ...

Please help with your knowledge.

Thanks

F
Ignore it, she cannot do anything and cannot prove you took anything. Stop worrying about it and just ignore all of her messages and calls now, and make records of the ones she has already sent you.

She is simply trying to scam you.

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Not nice- but I agree with Patsycat to send her about 200CFH to cover for your board- and then ignore. If she works with you and it becomes a problem- talk to your supervisor calmly and explain what is going on- and ask for advice on how to proceed (but confused here as you say she is unemployed???)
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Send her a couple of hundred francs for room and board.

Then change your number.

She sounds like a loony.
Terrible advice form borh of you... the moment he sends her some money it makes him look guilty and will only fuel her scam attempt.

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WHAT?!! They don't sound like your friend, not charging a mate to sleep on your sofa for a night is not a cultural thing...

We've had a house guest for 2 months and haven't asked for anything for rent or food (although he has insisted on giving something) because that's what you do for friends... And he's not even MY friend (that's what you do for your boyfriend's friends...).


It's not like OP stayed for 2 months!
2 months is not a "normal" stay for a guest, and I would certainly be asking for some contribution to living costs if it was not a family member and I didn't know him so well. The fact you refuse his insistence to contribute probably just makes him feel guilty, because any normal, reasonable person would surely feel like they were taking the piss in that situation.
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  #27  
Old 01.01.2015, 15:15
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Re: Colleague trying to get money

Even two weeks can seem like an eternity!! I had my Ex come "for a few days" he stayed on and off for almost a year.

Never paid a penny, never bought food etc. His excuse - he looked after the cats while i was on holiday. I always left enough food for them.

But the one that broke the friendship was when he complained about staying because i had to go to my father's funeral. It was ok to stay with me when it suited him, but when i asked/pleaded he made it seem like he was doing me a favour.

When i came back from that sad time - his stuff was out on the street the next day. With a letter saying he owed me 2000 francs for room and board. did i see any of that?? pull the other one... I also changed the locks.

I still see him around town and make that sort of mafia movement with my forefinger and thumb!! he just smiles.

Gullible is not in my vocabulary or mindset anymore.
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  #28  
Old 01.01.2015, 15:17
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Re: Colleague trying to get money

The 200 CHF would be a fair contribution towards her stay- as a goodwill gesture. Nothing to do with acknowledging 'guilt' in any way whatsoever.

We've had friends stay with us so many times- sometimes for extending periods of times- and would never dream of charging them. But we were lucky that they always had the decency to 'pay back' somehow- without being asked- in one way or another. What goes round comes around, has always been proven right.
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  #29  
Old 01.01.2015, 15:22
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OK, So this is what happened:

My apartment got broken into, big time broken into.

I was really nervours because my door until now is not fixed, so I was advised to move away until all keys from the buiding are replaced.

And she offered me to stay there, that she would receive me with the biggest heart.

7 Days I stood there. Took groceries, cleaned, ironed her clothes, etc ...

Then started yesterday night when I asked her to wash my clothes ( and I had bought the detergents for her at coop ) and she said no.

Then in the morning before I leave were:

- You'd better pay me 1000 CHF for your stay ( as it will be your word against mine ). I was only allowed to take 2 showers.

- I will look for a couple of things that might eventually be missing and will send you the bill. I made her look at all my bags inside as I felt so so humiliated.

- If you dont pay I will write your company and you will loose your job

( all of this verbally )

That is the reason I thought of the report.

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Even two weeks can seem like an eternity!! I had my Ex come "for a few days" he stayed on and off for almost a year.

Never paid a penny, never bought food etc. His excuse - he looked after the cats while i was on holiday. I always left enough food for them.

But the one that broke the friendship was when he complained about staying because i had to go to my father's funeral. It was ok to stay with me when it suited him, but when i asked/pleaded he made it seem like he was doing me a favour.

When i came back from that sad time - his stuff was out on the street the next day. With a letter saying he owed me 2000 francs for room and board. did i see any of that?? pull the other one... I also changed the locks.

I still see him around town and make that sort of mafia movement with my forefinger and thumb!! he just smiles.

Gullible is not in my vocabulary or mindset anymore.
I am so sorry for you, that is also so sad!

Last edited by 3Wishes; 01.01.2015 at 20:13. Reason: merging successive posts
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  #30  
Old 01.01.2015, 15:26
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Re: Colleague trying to get money

Anyway, i digress.

Perhaps my suggestion of giving her 200 francs was a bit silly, because she may ask for more.

Do not do a police report. That will just drag on and on.
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  #31  
Old 01.01.2015, 15:27
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Re: Colleague trying to get money

Any time that I've had someone stay with me, I've been very specific in explaining that I didn't want any kind of money in return, as long as they're willing to do all the cooking and cleaning... while naked.
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  #32  
Old 01.01.2015, 15:28
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Re: Colleague trying to get money

There's a big difference between having friends to stay and what the OP did, it was a vague aquaintance from what she says (post 23) so i think some payment is probably due.

As for the "missing items" it is for the lady to prove not only they have been stolen but that the op stole them ! Writting to inform your employer, if he takes any notice of it, it's time to find a new employer ! (meaning the one you have is not very good if he believes this rubbish)
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  #33  
Old 01.01.2015, 15:29
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Re: Colleague trying to get money

1000 francs for a weeks stay!! You could have gone on a Tropical holiday for that, almost.

That is ridiculous. Thank god you can now be at home and can forget about that crazy woman.

OP, my story is not sad (as in crying sad) it is sad, as in being a too nice person sad. Now i am a real witch - you stay at my home, you live by my rules. Non smokers and non drinkers are not allowed, people who do not like Guns n Roses are not allowed etc.
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  #34  
Old 01.01.2015, 15:30
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Re: Colleague trying to get money

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OK, So this is what happened:

My apartment got broken into, big time broken into.

I was really nervours because my door until now is not fixed, so I was advised to move away until all keys from the buiding are replaced.

And she offered me to stay there, that she would receive me with the biggest heart.

7 Days I stood there. Took groceries, cleaned, ironed her clothes, etc ...

Then started yesterday night when I asked her to wash my clothes ( and I had bought the detergents for her at coop ) and she said no.

Then in the morning before I leave were:

- You'd better pay me 1000 CHF for your stay ( as it will be your word against mine ). I was only allowed to take 2 showers.

- I will look for a couple of things that might eventually be missing and will send you the bill. I made her look at all my bags inside as I felt so so humiliated.

- If you dont pay I will write your company and you will loose your job

( all of this verbally )

That is the reason I thought of the report.
Given that, just refuse and tell her that you won't be acknowledging any further communications from her that aren't sent by registered letter. If it's her word against yours, then you're in the clear, as she can't prove anything, so I wouldn't be giving her any money.
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  #35  
Old 01.01.2015, 15:34
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Re: Colleague trying to get money

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OK, So this is what happened:

My apartment got broken into, big time broken into.

I was really nervours because my door until now is not fixed, so I was advised to move away until all keys from the buiding are replaced.

And she offered me to stay there, that she would receive me with the biggest heart.

7 Days I stood there. Took groceries, cleaned, ironed her clothes, etc ...

Then started yesterday night when I asked her to wash my clothes ( and I had bought the detergents for her at coop ) and she said no.

Then in the morning before I leave were:

- You'd better pay me 1000 CHF for your stay ( as it will be your word against mine ). I was only allowed to take 2 showers.

- I will look for a couple of things that might eventually be missing and will send you the bill. I made her look at all my bags inside as I felt so so humiliated.

- If you dont pay I will write your company and you will loose your job

( all of this verbally )

That is the reason I thought of the report.
If you recall you lost your job 2 years ago...
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  #36  
Old 01.01.2015, 15:35
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There's a big difference between having friends to stay and what the OP did, it was a vague aquaintance from what she says (post 23) so i think some payment is probably due.

As for the "missing items" it is for the lady to prove not only they have been stolen but that the op stole them ! Writting to inform your employer, if he takes any notice of it, it's time to find a new employer ! (meaning the one you have is not very good if he believes this rubbish)

She told me very clear, you do not need to give me any money what so ever, actually I offered her. I told her I would rather go to a hotel but she insisted. That is what upsets me ... and the mean way she treated me this mornng, with so many lies ...

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If you recall you lost your job 2 years ago...

Me, no! I have never been unemployed. I work here for many years.

She lost her job/ Business 2 years ago.

Last edited by 3Wishes; 01.01.2015 at 20:14. Reason: merging successive posts
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  #37  
Old 01.01.2015, 15:37
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Re: Colleague trying to get money

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I have noticed, with the Swiss (don't know if this is just where I am), that if you say to a friend "Oh I'll be in place X next week, could I sleep on your sofa/ stay in your apartment for a few days" … they will be like "Sure, is 30chf a night ok?" ….. I was horrified at first, but now I just expect it. I have also had Swiss friends give me money for letting them stay for a few nights, even though I would never dream of asking them, ridiculous
In our experience it is not a Swiss thing. Before I met my OH, OH stayed with Swiss friends on a number of occasions for the odd night or nights and no money changed hands. However OH would not have been empty handed, i.e. gifts &/or taken them out for meal(s).

However in your case, at least people were being up front.

We had a Swiss friend who we lent a laptop to for a 2 week holiday, as they only had a computer and were shocked and still laugh about the friend trying to give us 1-200chf, that we refused. Oddly it did take several weeks /a couple of months to get it back & were happy it was not broken, as was becoming a bit suspect with the length of time to return it.

People are different about giving/accepting lift in a car, some would automatically want to offer payment for petrol, that many of us would refuse & some would take a lift many times without offering anything now or in the future, like maybe paying for a coffee or the like when out with one.

I had a colleague years ago, who I gave a lift to work and home, as it was easier for her, than public transport & it was on my way for a couple of years. Because she was not always ready on time, I used to phone her, as I was five minutes away. When I suggested she then phone me when she was ready, guess what she found an excuse not to phone. She would only let me know if she did not want the lift & was a bit off with me if for any reason I could not give her lift home in the evening. I felt like I was her unpaid taxi driver. Eventually my job changed so lesson learnt.
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  #38  
Old 01.01.2015, 15:43
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Re: Colleague trying to get money

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You said she has been unemployed for 2 years, so I assume she is an ex colleague?

There are often problems with people living in the same home together & it appears like you were living with her over the Christmas holidays.

No idea what food of her's you might have used. When we have flat shared there has been the odd occasion we were out of something, then used something from someone else & then replaced, e.g. might have been a quater packet of rice and then we brought full packet, usually within 24/48hours & explained to the other person & been thankful to them.

As you were still there and she said you had taken items, could you not discuss it before you moved out?
Maybe you moved something somewhere and she thought it was missing.

Only you know your behaviour when living with her, like keeping the place tidy, cleaning the bathroom, kitchen, bedroom after use etc

We are not used to accepting hospitality from someone without returning it in some way.

In this instance, yes send her some money, keep a receipt for it, probably end of friendship.
She did not want to discuss it because it was not true.
She told me 19 bottles of perfume were missing.

Right then and there, I opened up all my bags and throught their contents in the floor. Made her touch and look everything as I was very offended.

Then she said about the things I am sure she will create as "missing".
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Old 01.01.2015, 15:44
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Re: Colleague trying to get money

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She told me very clear, you do not need to give me any money what so ever, actually I offered her. I told her I would rather go to a hotel but she insisted. That is what upsets me ... and the mean way she treated me this mornng, with so many lies ...
Fine, great, tell her to f*** off then.


End of story
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Old 01.01.2015, 15:45
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Re: Colleague trying to get money

Are you male or female? Did something sexual happen? Somebody tried something and it didn't work out?

Something is missing from this story so I'm making it up
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