Hi, I am also from California (Bay Area). I moved here when I was 27 (got a job in Zurich). That was about 20 years ago. Here are a few ideas:

- check out www.naturfreunde.ch they organise all sorts of nature-related activites, outings and courses (it's a German language site)
- give private conversational English lessons (advertise in Migros, charge 50 CHF per hour, meet in cafes)
- take a dance course with your significant other
- travel like crazy on the weekends (Paris, Prague, Florence, Ticino, French part.
- take advantage of all the hiking, biking and skiing
- German class...lots of others in the same boat

The bottom line: if you have plans on staying here permanantly with a Swiss bf you will have to integrate with the Swiss. That is difficult, and you must speak good high German and understand dialect.

Quickest way: marriage and kids. Then the society will suck you in like a black hole.

Otherwise, spend the first few years taking advantage of all the travel and attractions of living in Switzerland. You will either adapt, or leave within 3 years.

I wonder what kind of posts we will be reading again over the w/end after this lovely suggestion


Quickest way: marriage and kids. Then the society will suck you in like a black hole.
[/quote Karl]

..it wasn't meant as a sexist remark, simply an aspect of reality here:

- if you have a Swiss significant other, odds are he is very close to his family (usually too close for American's comfort). You will forever be an outsider as "girlfriend" and not "wife".
- it goes farther than that: even after marriage until you produce blood-relatives (children), you will still not have the status as fully integrated into the family. This is not only a Swiss thing I guess.
- children instantly give you a connection with the Swiss family you've married into, into the community (parents of the Swiss kids your child plays with), school, church, clubs (vereins) etc...even the local shopkeeper will suddenly warm up and give your kids a slice of fleishkäse whenever you go shopping, etc.

There is no other way to achieve this level of acceptance on your own.

Of course, at 24 it may be a bit premature to bring up this topic: stick to travelling and experiencing Europe, a few years down the line (like 5 -7) this scenario comes around all by itself (if you are still here).

In the way you describe it, I absolutely agree !!!

I just realized I am not young anymore ... thank you for enlightning me!

Kids do help at breaking the ice with the locals. The local butcher asks our son "Wüüscht?" (sp?) too while we are waiting - sometimes twice because he eats it so quick.

I was 25 when I arrived and saw that it was a wonderful place to raise a family. I got "sucked in" and had my son a couple of years later. I'm from Sydney and life is soo much better here.

I have been here for about 2 and a half months now, and I must admit it has certainly not been easy so far. Of course before I moved here I did have a vague idea that it would be difficult for the first few months especially.

The main problem is the language barrier. If you can't talk the lingo you can't socialise, meet new people or make friends very easily. I have been lucky in one way - I joined my boyfriend's old brass band, which at least 'gets me out of the house' for practice and gives me the opportunity to talk to some Swiss Germans. Many of them are very kind and speak English to me, but I know really that the sooner I can speak reasonable German the better.

It is difficult, but I know that I am myself a bit to blame. I am quite shy when it comes to speaking to new people, and the language barrier makes it even more difficult for make to make a connection with anyone so far. I guess most of all I miss the 'girly' chats that I used to have with my friends back at home - you don't really get the same thing from talking to a Swiss bloke! I know I should just get out there and try and speak to people but it is taking the leap that is the problem!

It is a big shock coming from a home where I was very close with my family and had a couple of really close friends. Now I am lucky if I speak to more than two people in an average day - boyfriend and German teacher!

My boyfriend has quite a big social circle and we often invite people around for food, or get invited out - but I can't help feeling that they are 'his' friends, not mine....does that sound silly? I kind of feel a bit useless because I can't communicate as successfully as I would like to.

It sounds horrible, but it is strangely comforting to know that other people are going through the same things as me

I guess we just have to grit our teeth, keep our chins up and keep trying!

Not horrible - human nature. In this Thread there are many posts saying how people felt at the beginning of their time here and what they did to enable them to integrate better. Has some super ideas. Might be something in there for you.

I've been here for 5.5 years, and I still feel homesick. I think that's normal since Swiss culture is very different from American culture (and Asian's -- which is true in my case). We just have to adapt to the Swiss way.

Maybe if you have some more free time in the near future (i.e. once you have a 60 or 70 percent work schedule), you can enroll in a German course. Not only does it help you with learning one of the national Swiss languages so you can communicate with the locals; it's also a good way to meet lots of foreigners who are in the same boat as you are (it worked for me). I've met lots of nice people in my French and German classes who have become good friends.

Alternatively, you can create an expat blog on http://blogger.com or http://wordpress.com, and blog your angst away. Blogging is highly therapeutic (in my humble opinion). You may want to read some expat blogs here: http://www.expat-blog.com/en/directo...e/switzerland/ (I know for a fact that some of the bloggers listed there have become friends with their blog readers and/or co-bloggers.)

Hope this helps. All the best.

I moved to northern Germany in 2001, and found it a pretty frigid social place to be. My response was to ignore that, josh and joke with people, try to lighten them up (yes, I'm from California too: we do that kind of thing...). At the beginning, when I'd do so, it was like watching a light-switch be flipped on, painfully, as though my conversation partners had this (moderately ponderous...) revelation that said: Ah, time to be funny! Light-hearted!! Play along!!! But it also gave them a chance to relax, not take the interaction too seriously: it was being marked as light-hearted --- and then they too would make jokes or laugh ruefully.

But it's also a personality thing: you may or may not always feel like being light-hearted and seeing the humor in things, or want to share that joking manner. People certainly DO have a sense of humor in Germany and Switzerland - one look at the small theater/cabaret scene or the number of comedians running around is enough - but everyday life is (or can be) harrassing, harried, stressed, and serious.

Granted: I don't face the language barrier. But try joking around a bit in English with the neighbor(s) the mailman, the clerks. A lot of people here have very good passive understanding of English, including jokes, even if they are hesitant about speaking. I think you might be surprised at the warmth of the response. And at the very least, it could make *you* feel better!

Hang in there,
J.