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Old 31.01.2015, 15:39
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Wedding and work colleagues

Hi all,

Imagine you work in a small company, around 10 people. Some of them are your friends, some mere work colleagues.
What would you say is the Swiss custom when it's time to invite people to your wedding? Invite the whole team or just the ones you have a close relationship to?

Thanks for your thoughts.
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  #2  
Old 31.01.2015, 16:27
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

Close relationship only i would say. I get along with everybody from work but im not inviting people who i only see at work
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Old 31.01.2015, 16:31
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

It's your wedding so of course your decision alone as to who will be invited. You seem to want to invite a few (say, no more than five out of ten) so that should be no problem at all. It might be different if, say, you invited eight or nine out of ten as the very few might feel excluded.

There's a chance your work colleagues will collect some coin among them for a congratulation card (plus maybe a gift which very often will be cash unless they know what object would be welcome). For that standard reaction applies, e.g. a thank-you-email when you're back at work, maybe post some fotos on the intranet, something along these lines.
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Old 31.01.2015, 16:59
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

Normally, with such a small team, you would invite everybody to ceremony and apperitif afterwards. The collegues you are closest too, you would invite to the dinner afterwards.

Appertif & dinner are often held in different places

As Max said, though, with only 10 collegues, if you invite more than 6 without the others, it may cause a problem later down the line.....
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Old 31.01.2015, 17:06
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

Play it safe and invite none.

Tom
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Old 31.01.2015, 17:10
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

yes. with only 10 i'd say it's all or nothing
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Old 31.01.2015, 17:53
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

As Today only mentions, weddings celebrations here are often split into sections, and these may be held in different locations.
And that's it's accepted as normal that you'll invite different sub-groups of guests to different bits.

Civil ceremony, religious wedding, aperitif, dinner, even possibly a party on a separate day.
Therefore you could invite people to #1 and #5 for example, or #s 2,3 and 4.

Don't forget the + one, so ten people from work could really be 20, unless you specify that the invitation is for just the person named.
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Old 31.01.2015, 19:31
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

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Hi all,

Imagine you work in a small company, around 10 people. Some of them are your friends, some mere work colleagues.
What would you say is the Swiss custom when it's time to invite people to your wedding? Invite the whole team or just the ones you have a close relationship to?

Thanks for your thoughts.
Swiss custom? People are people everywhere. All or none!

Those who feel you're just being polite will have the grace to find a pretext and not come....
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Old 31.01.2015, 19:51
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

As others have mentioned, I went to one such "split wedding" of a colleague where our small department and a few other work friends were invited for a wedding apero (I think after their civic ceremony) at a local castle which was used for events. At a certain time the "colleagues and acquaintances" left, and the immediate family and close friends stayed on for an intimate dinner at the same facility. Seemed to work well. We enjoyed ourselves and were so happy to celebrate with and for somebody that we worked closely with every day, and there appeared to be no hard feelings at not being invited to stay on.

Not sure if that is the norm but I though it was elegantly done.
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Old 31.01.2015, 19:57
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

It's dammed if you do and damned if you don't. I'd cancel the wedding.
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Old 31.01.2015, 20:45
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

Then there is the issue of the gifts - was once many years ago invited to the apero only, but the wedding couple was surprised at the gift and thought it too much for only having been invited to the apero. Are expected gifts from apero guests supposed to be smaller per se?
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Old 31.01.2015, 20:48
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

Your wedding is your private life. Your work colleagues are people you sit with because you get paid to do so. Ne'er the twain shall meet.
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Old 02.02.2015, 08:20
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

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Then there is the issue of the gifts - was once many years ago invited to the apero only, but the wedding couple was surprised at the gift and thought it too much for only having been invited to the apero. Are expected gifts from apero guests supposed to be smaller per se?
We (the colleagues that were attending) put together a collection for a nice gift (something the bride wanted but I cannot now remember what). This worked out very well and took the awkwardness away from gift selection
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Old 02.02.2015, 09:44
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

I might have been wrong, but I thought Swiss custom would dictate one to only invite people whom he/she has close relationship
If it's me (and I'm no Swiss), I'd invite everyone, if it's only 10 people
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Old 02.02.2015, 09:49
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

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I might have been wrong, but I thought Swiss custom would dictate one to only invite people whom he/she has close relationship
If it's me (and I'm no Swiss), I'd invite everyone, if it's only 10 people
Ah, I so much hate those little cliques, so unprofessional...It's only 10 people, and if OP was in good relations with only one of them then it would have been OK to invite only that person..but if she's close with half of them it would be weird to invite only those. Which of course she can do, in general people are too self-absorbed to see the bigger picture. I personally wouldn't do it, that's for sure.
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Old 02.02.2015, 13:06
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

I am in progress arranging my own wedding, I would invite family to wedding ceremony and invite all people in workplace to a different session after wedding.
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Old 02.02.2015, 13:56
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

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Normally, with such a small team, you would invite everybody to ceremony and apperitif afterwards. The collegues you are closest too, you would invite to the dinner afterwards.

Appertif & dinner are often held in different places

As Max said, though, with only 10 collegues, if you invite more than 6 without the others, it may cause a problem later down the line.....
I agree. I`ve seen that its pretty normal to have an Apéro for all the work colleagues after the church ceremony, and the dinner reserved for close friends/family. No offence will be taken, and everyone will be happy.
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Old 02.02.2015, 14:00
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

Have a private wedding, and invite no-one other than the witnesses.

Tom
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Old 02.02.2015, 14:01
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

In my family, usually there's the wedding, the Apero, then there's cake&coffe and then there's dinner.
Co-workers, non-close friends can usually stay for cake&coffe (it's not a big deal IMO as the cakes are often 100% supplied by relatives/friends/guests).

Catered dinner at a restaurant running to 50-100 CHF per person (or whatever - no married... yet) is something different, though.

When my co-worker married, he invited everybody at the company (for coffee+cake)
That was 20-something people back then.
Nowadays, it's 50-odd people and he'd now probably only invite those who he works with closely.

When my cousin got married, the venue for her celebration was the local gymnasium and there were two or three hundred people.
Reason: father owns a successful local business with lots of employees and all "had" to be invited (+1). Plus all the relatives (and children) plus important customers, suppliers (+1)....
If you have hopes of a "private wedding", don't marry into a successful business ;-)
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Old 03.02.2015, 20:20
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Re: Wedding and work colleagues

make it a Mafia wedding and shoot the witnesses afterwards.

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Have a private wedding, and invite no-one other than the witnesses.

Tom
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