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Old 21.03.2015, 16:55
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Re: wrong Kanton

As a first step you might consider calling this helpline for advice:

http://www.frauenhaus-graubuenden.ch/willkommen/

They should be able to help you understand your legal situation, and perhaps might be able to help you clarify your options.

Another resource here:
http://www.frauen-graubuenden.ch/ind...ex.php?idcat=3



Wishing you all the best...

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  #42  
Old 21.03.2015, 17:10
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Re: wrong Kanton

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you dont know swiss men very well ..lol I go away he reports me and my passport gets taken.
jeez you make it sound like it's saudi arabia for real now. You should verify these things anyway.

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  #43  
Old 21.03.2015, 18:06
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Re: wrong Kanton

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Nifty. I'd love to know under what pretense the authorities are going to take your passport.

You may be going through a rough patch, but over-dramatizing makes it sound like you're just making things up, and doesn't engender a desire to help.
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jeez you make it sound like it's saudi arabia for real now. You should verify these things anyway.
As she's just received Swiss citizenship, part of the conditions is that she stays with her husband for 3 more years to prove it isn't a sham marriage. If she doesn't then she loses the Swiss passport/citizenship. This was mentioned in the other thread she's contributing to at the moment.

How long should I wait for swiss passport?
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  #44  
Old 21.03.2015, 18:09
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Did you not know your husband before you married him
It's certainly not unheard of that people (men or women!) only show their true face after getting married.

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I know a gay couple in Scuol, they don't find locals that traditional conservative.
IME other regions in Graubünden such as the Churer Rheintal, Davos or the Engadine are quite a bit less conservative than the Bündner Oberland where the OP resides.
The Oberland does have a reputation of being backwards even within the Canton and probably for a reason.

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Old 21.03.2015, 18:20
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Re: wrong Kanton

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As she's just received Swiss citizenship, part of the conditions is that she stays with her husband for 3 more years to prove it isn't a sham marriage. If she doesn't then she loses the Swiss passport/citizenship. This was mentioned in the other thread she's contributing to at the moment.

How long should I wait for swiss passport?
Ah, that makes sense. I read it as "they'll take away my passport so I can't travel". My apologies, then.
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  #46  
Old 21.03.2015, 18:59
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Re: wrong Kanton

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you say you can't make decisions, but you have your own money and even a getaway apartment, maybe what you don't like is that your income depends on him (you said he's your boss?) so... just look for another job so you feel completely indipendent.
but maybe you should just have a serious discussion, if he walks out of the room try escalating by throwing dishes at the wall maybe, just to make him understand you're serious. btw have you played the divorce card? i bet a conservative man like him wouldn't like that might get him at the table.
Don't make threat you aren't ready to carry.
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Old 21.03.2015, 20:49
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Re: wrong Kanton

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It's certainly not unheard of that people (men or women!) only show their true face after getting married.
You sure have a very valid point there. Actually I should have kept my big mouth shut, since I had exactly the same problem with my first wife. Two years of a very close relation before marriage, and I still didn't realize at all what an effing bitch she was, until the golden handcuffs clicked shut.

The worst thing is, I can't even say I hadn't been warned. She had made her point of view pretty clear quite a few times before marriage, but with a grin that kept me believing that she was just joking. I eventually lost 30 years of my life plus practically all my (considerable) income. My retirement plan consists of AHV and practically nothing else.

Sorry.
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  #48  
Old 21.03.2015, 22:16
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Re: wrong Kanton

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I can make a lot of decisions , I make decisions all day long.
I had written out a long and helpful reply to your posts but after rereading I thought I'd rather withdraw, because IMO the way you're dealing with your situation is not appropriate and shouldn't be encouraged.

Last edited by 3Wishes; 23.03.2015 at 16:02. Reason: changed name in quoted text
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  #49  
Old 21.03.2015, 22:50
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Re: wrong Kanton

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As she's just received Swiss citizenship, part of the conditions is that she stays with her husband for 3 more years to prove it isn't a sham marriage. If she doesn't then she loses the Swiss passport/citizenship. This was mentioned in the other thread she's contributing to at the moment.

How long should I wait for swiss passport?
I know this is not what you want to hear Kristen- but this is a fact. And Urs is right on the other thread. My OH got facilitated naturalisation- after we had been married 41 years- and I was interviewed re. our future plans and whether we had any marital problems and intended to ever separate. I was truly surprised, I have to say. So if your OH wanted to perhaps get back at you- he could just state it was a sham marriage and you married him for the red book, the job, his money, etc, unfortunately. So yes, do be careful what you share on a public Forum- including comments like 'give him enough rope to hang himself, etc' as they could come back and bite you on the bum- especially with your location known. Be careful (and this is NOT a threat- I do feel for you- but like many, feel your OH changing since your marriage and his return to CH, is the main problem here, not your location, as such).

It is a very small world out there, as you've discovered already. I would remove your location from your profile, and ask mods to delete the 'quote' with your location that someone posted (22Yards, post 6 on this thread). In a rural area like mine, or yours it would take anyone 1/2 a second to work out who is who with the detail you have given here. Not much point putting ??? on your location and then putting the name of (small) village in profile, is there?

Last edited by Odile; 22.03.2015 at 12:15.
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  #50  
Old 21.03.2015, 23:29
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Re: wrong Kanton

Could somebody please post the legal source of a 3-years rule for keeping on a marriage after facilitated naturalization? Sorry if already done, then my mistake.


If OP is married for 8 years, it's very unlikely that it could be considered a sham marriage, imho.
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  #51  
Old 21.03.2015, 23:37
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Re: wrong Kanton

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I had written out a long and helpful reply to your posts but after rereading I thought I'd rather withdraw, because IMO the way you're dealing with your situation is not appropriate and shouldn't be encouraged.
Just for the records, my Thank You referred to that very helpful post you just deleted. I was about to even give you some green blobbies. I see your point, but I think it's a pity you deleted that really nice text. It could have encouraged the OP to take the right measures.
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  #52  
Old 21.03.2015, 23:49
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Re: wrong Kanton

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Just for the records, my Thank You referred to that very helpful post you just deleted. I was about to even give you some green blobbies. I see your point, but I think it's a pity you deleted that really nice text. It could have encouraged the OP to take the right measures.
Sorry about that - but reading OP's posts in the other thread turned me off together with this thread. Not only the negative generalization of us EFers and the population of a region of CH, but also the attitude which comes off as "I don't want help anyway, back off." Unfortunate, as I would've been willing to help, but not if I run the risk of being retaliated at with that kind of a statement after going through getting her all that info. Seeing OP being standoffish in multiple places regarding her issue has made me think this risk is quite high. Thanks for your understanding.
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  #53  
Old 22.03.2015, 00:11
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Re: wrong Kanton

Surselva is my favorite part of GR.

Tom
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  #54  
Old 22.03.2015, 01:12
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Re: wrong Kanton

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Surselva is my favorite part of GR.

Tom
Not exactly surprising, as it's abound with Capuns
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Old 22.03.2015, 01:16
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Re: wrong Kanton

you guys are doing such a great job at figuring out my life and what I am thinking , I can just sit back and laugh at your stupid oppinionated posts ...obviously you idiots dont work or have relationships .... you guys look like fools .. are you reading your own posts ? I am not leaving my husband ... idiots, i am just mad at him... you fools took it to this place yourself out of general boredom and a need to cyber bully... how big do you feel ing fools lol
i married my husband out of love and stay with him through thick and thin... thats what life is about idiots, you came up with the rest ... you all need jobs or hobbies
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  #56  
Old 22.03.2015, 01:18
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Re: wrong Kanton

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you guys are doing such a great job at figuring out my life and what I am thinking , I can just sit back and laugh at your stupid oppinionated posts ...obviously you idiots dont work or have relationships .... you guys look like fools .. are you reading your own posts ? I am not leaving my husband ... idiots, i am just mad at him... you fools took it to this place yourself out of general boredom and a need to cyber bully... how big do you feel ing fools lol
i married my husband out of love and stay with him through thick and thin... thats what life is about idiots, you came up with the rest ... you all need jobs or hobbies
Repugnant behavior. Reported.

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  #57  
Old 22.03.2015, 01:44
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Re: wrong Kanton

Ok, I think that's the end of the show.

Glowjupiter, you did the right thing. Sorry about all the work and good will you wasted.

Enjoy your weekend everybody.

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  #58  
Old 22.03.2015, 02:32
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Re: wrong Kanton

The 2 threads are not wasted.
Also if this case seems to be a fake, other persons have gone through this kind of problems and still others who maybe will have to cope with that nasty stuff might find some info here.


Until a couple of years ago (and I hope it belongs to the past) also not yet naturalized widows and widowers could have possibly faced similar problems.
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Old 22.03.2015, 02:33
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Re: wrong Kanton

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You sure have a very valid point there. Actually I should have kept my big mouth shut, since I had exactly the same problem with my first wife. Two years of a very close relation before marriage, and I still didn't realize at all what an effing bitch she was, until the golden handcuffs clicked shut.

The worst thing is, I can't even say I hadn't been warned. She had made her point of view pretty clear quite a few times before marriage, but with a grin that kept me believing that she was just joking. I eventually lost 30 years of my life plus practically all my (considerable) income. My retirement plan consists of AHV and practically nothing else.

Sorry Kristen.
30 years of life lost with someone whose (lack of) character was fully revealed to the other just after marrying her/him sounds...incredible. As in every situation of this nature, the other side's story would be also interesting.
I always wondered why some couples stay together so long in relations that are obviously not a good choice for neither of them. 30 years must be longer than "till the kids grow up" kind of line I guess.
Not judging, just saying.
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Old 22.03.2015, 11:15
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Re: wrong Kanton

Can someone please rename this thread wrong attitude?
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