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  #61  
Old 04.05.2015, 22:32
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Re: RAV vs Sozial [returning Swiss citizen]

Sorry if this seems harsh- but most of us have had to do menial jobs in our time to survive, waiting at tables, work in shops filling shelves, Fast Food resto, and also child-mind, etc- for all sorts of reasons- in my case as a student and later to pay my way when abroad and to learn the language which then helped me to climb the ladder. In London when I first went there, ma salary was 11.50 per week and my lodgings 7.50, without food. It was tough ...There is no shame in it, really.

I am so sorry you are so angry with your dad, perhaps for excellent reasons- but this does not make you exempt from doing everything you can to find work, even if not what you'd dream of, of even deserve after your studies. But this is life sometimes, and we all have to get on with it... and work hard to find ways to get up the ladder as we go.

Later as a young mum- the only job I could do was childmind another child- so i did it, and for very little money. But thus I could pay my way as OH was earning very little despite working very very long hours.
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  #62  
Old 04.05.2015, 22:38
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Re: RAV vs Sozial [returning Swiss citizen]

Just asking: Why exactly did you move to Switzerland? I don't think you ever mentioned that.
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  #63  
Old 04.05.2015, 23:06
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Re: RAV vs Sozial [returning Swiss citizen]

Filswiss, have you tried networking with the Filipino community in Bern?

A quick google came up with:

Filipino community network of Kt. Bern

Verein philipinischer Frauen.
Treffen 18:30 h Giacomettistr. 6 Bern. Tagungen und Workshops zu verschiedenen Themen mit dem Ziel, das Selbstvertrauen der in Bern lebenden philipinischen Frauen zu stšrken.

http://www.integration-be.ch/de/vere...esselpersonen/

Put 'filipino' in the search field.



Can't hurt to try....


ETA: Take a browse through that website, especially 'Beratungsstellen' -looks like some good resources.
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  #64  
Old 04.05.2015, 23:14
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Re: RAV vs Sozial [returning Swiss citizen]

@Odile - It's okay, i understand. I've heard worse things in my life. But right now i'm emotionally distressed.
Any opportunities it seems not coming my way. I'm trying to think outside the box and trying to build a door and looking for a fire exit. I just have to deal with it.


@keksli - There are a lot of things why I move to Switzerland:
1. Because of my Mom. I love my mom so much that I will do everything for her, for all the sacrifices that she went through. She work in Zurich before, she was a hardworking woman, she earns more money than my father. Later my father found out about it and he was unhappy about it, he doesn't want my mother to prosper in life that's why he told to my mom: "you're the one who's going to pay everything now, also with your daughter, you need to support that baby(referring to me)" And my poor mom left Switzerland just to take care of me. He even treatens my mom that he will kill her if she apply for a divorced.
2. I am Swiss. It is such a pity that I didn't grew up here because of my evil father! I don't know maybe he's a descendant of Hitler.
3. I want to exercise my right's and duties as a Swiss citizen.
4. I am deprived for 25 years of Swiss Education and Swiss Life (Thanks to my demonic father)
5. I want to avenge my Mom. (I want to finish what she started)
6. I want to work here and be a dutiful Swiss citizen
7. I want to help my mom to file a divorced for my father
8. I want to start a new life


@meloncollie - Thank you so much! I will check this out! This is helpful!!
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  #65  
Old 04.05.2015, 23:26
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Re: RAV vs Sozial [returning Swiss citizen]

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@keksli - There are a lot of things why I move to Switzerland:
1. Because of my Mom. I love my mom so much that I will do everything for her, for all the sacrifices that she went through. She work in Zurich before, she was a hardworking woman, she earns more money than my father. Later my father found out about it and he was unhappy about it, he doesn't want my mother to prosper in life that's why he told to my mom: "you're the one who's going to pay everything now, also with your daughter, you need to support that baby(referring to me)" And my poor mom left Switzerland just to take care of me. He even treatens my mom that he will kill her if she apply for a divorced.
I don't quite understand... So your mother used to live and work in Switzerland. Then your father 'found out' she was working. Does this mean he was living (seperated from your mother) in the Philippines when he found out?
Then your father told your mother to go to the Philippines, which she did. Were you living with your father in the Phillipines at that time?
And now you're back in Switzerland why? Because your father wanted to come here?

Please excuse my questions, I am trying to form a clearer picture here.
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  #66  
Old 04.05.2015, 23:36
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Re: RAV vs Sozial [returning Swiss citizen]

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I don't quite understand... So your mother used to live and work in Switzerland. Then your father 'found out' she was working. Does this mean he was living (seperated from your mother) in the Philippines when he found out?
Then your father told your mother to go to the Philippines, which she did. Were you living with your father in the Phillipines at that time?
And now you're back in Switzerland why? Because your father wanted to come here?

Please excuse my questions, I am trying to form a clearer picture here.

They got married if I'm not mistaken 1988 or 1989.
After marriage they went to Switzerland.
They live in Bern.
Father works in Bern. My mom works in Zurich.
My mom got pregnant. Later he found out my mom has a higher salary than him. They quarrel. Mom left Switzerland. And I was born then.
My mom tried to go back still in Switzerland. She left me with my grandmother.
Things didn't turn out well because my father doesn't want her to be working. And my father wants that my mom will pay everything and also support me. And treatens my mom of killing her if she files for a divorced. My mom left Switzerland then.

ETA: My father never lives in the philippines. I grew up seeing him every 2 months in a year. It was strange for me.
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  #67  
Old 04.05.2015, 23:43
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Re: RAV vs Sozial [returning Swiss citizen]

Well to be honest, there are still some parts of your history I don't understand... But let's skip that for now.

(Is your mother here in Switzerland now? If she is, she should go to the police at once. There is NO reason she should be living with someone who threatens to kill her. Switzerland has a functional system to protect those in need and she shouldn't be afraid to take advantage of these programms.)

Edit: Well you say your mother left Switzerland. Why don't you go live with her then? At least until you figure things out.
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  #68  
Old 04.05.2015, 23:51
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Re: RAV vs Sozial [returning Swiss citizen]

@keksli - there are some sensitive issues that I can't post here but you can message me or something. My mom is weak, she is not here. Even if she will come she got no place to stay. And my father is really influential, he can bend and twist a story. That's why I'm the one fighting for her. And I always ask my mom, "after all these years Mom? Really?"
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  #69  
Old 04.05.2015, 23:52
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Re: RAV vs Sozial [returning Swiss citizen]

Ok. I'll PM you later.
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  #70  
Old 05.05.2015, 00:09
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Re: RAV vs Sozial [returning Swiss citizen]

Vengeance rarely ends in good things, sadly and tragically. Pursuing vengeance so often results in destroying the one who wants to avenge- and not the one who caused the hurt.

Personally, i would go back and support of my mother were she is, and be there for her- work hard to help her as much as I can both emotionally and financially, etc.
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Old 05.05.2015, 08:57
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Re: So I went to Sozial....

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Medea Fleecestealer - No i havent. Well I don't think I can stand a chance with british girls with PhDs degrees. As a swiss citizen do I need some permit to work in UK?

me.anon - thank you for this. This helps a lot.


3Wishes - ok
No, you don't - that's why I suggested it. All you need to do is find a job and you'll be able to live/work in the UK. It works the same way that EU nationals coming to Switzerland does. Find work that provides you with sufficient income to live on and you'll get a permit to live here.

This also has some info for Swiss nationals returning home which may help you:

https://www.eda.admin.ch/content/dam...eckkehr_EN.pdf

However, I find some of your story strange. Why should you or your mother worry about your Dad's threats when she's not even in the country? I'm sorry, but unless he's some international criminal or has Mafia like connections in the Philippines there's no way he could carry out his threat. I assume she's not sending him money (if she is, she's a fool) so there's really nothing he can do. Get her to start divorce proceedings in the Philippines, I assume she can do that.

If you knew your father was so against you and your mother, why come here? Yes, I understand you're Swiss, but even so there are other places you could have gone to or simply stayed in the Philippines and made a life for yourself there.

Whether you "deserve" better or not, you have to make the best of things here and now, not dwell on what should have been/could have been/might have been. It's not going to be easy to find a job without a fair knowledge of German, but it can be done. If farm work is all that's available, then do farm work. You'll earn money which you can save to move elsewhere in Switzerland or the UK to then search for a more suitable position. Keep applying for jobs while you save up so you can afford to move out of your father's place.

Frankly, as you all seem to be so unhappy with each other, I would cut your father out of your lives and let him get on with his without you.

Last edited by 3Wishes; 05.05.2015 at 14:15. Reason: fixed quoting
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Old 05.05.2015, 12:13
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Re: RAV vs Sozial [returning Swiss citizen]

If all else fails, join the millitary Free food, free accomodation and even some money
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  #73  
Old 05.05.2015, 19:29
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Re: RAV vs Sozial [returning Swiss citizen]

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@keksli - There are a lot of things why I move to Switzerland:
1. Because of my Mom. I love my mom so much that I will do everything for her, for all the sacrifices that she went through. She work in Zurich before, she was a hardworking woman, she earns more money than my father. Later my father found out about it and he was unhappy about it, he doesn't want my mother to prosper in life that's why he told to my mom: "you're the one who's going to pay everything now, also with your daughter, you need to support that baby(referring to me)" And my poor mom left Switzerland just to take care of me. He even treatens my mom that he will kill her if she apply for a divorced.
2. I am Swiss. It is such a pity that I didn't grew up here because of my evil father! I don't know maybe he's a descendant of Hitler.
3. I want to exercise my right's and duties as a Swiss citizen.
4. I am deprived for 25 years of Swiss Education and Swiss Life (Thanks to my demonic father)
5. I want to avenge my Mom. (I want to finish what she started)
6. I want to work here and be a dutiful Swiss citizen
7. I want to help my mom to file a divorced for my father
8. I want to start a new life
After having gone through your previous posts (the ones 3wishes posted) and comparing them to this post, here is a (very long) summery of what I think.

1. I donít see how this has to do with you moving to Switzerland. Your mum doesnít live here. How would your moving to Switzerland benefit her? Are you planning to send her money? You mentioned she had a good job here in Switzerland; surely she works in the Philippines?

2. Just because you are Swiss doesnít mean you have to live here. Sure, there are no obstacles for you to enter the country, but being Swiss wonít make life here any easier. And I think that is a point you didnít consider prior to moving here.
You complain that jobs require decent German skills and that this is the reason you are rejected. What did you expect? Even if someone is Swiss but speaks no or little German, they aren't considered an attractive candidate. No point hiring someone who doesn't understand instructions or has difficulties communicating with customers.
Swiss people who have worked here their whole life complain about companies hiring too many German or other EU employees. As you can see, being Swiss does not mean you will be treated as a priority.
You state you have problems 're-integrating'. I read from a previous post, you have never lived in Switzerland before. You said you were here on vacation a few years ago. Therefor you are not 're-integrating' but rather 'integrating', which is a huge difference.

Why didnít your father want you to grow up here? Was he ashamed of having an "auslšnder" child? Why in the world did you think it would be a good idea to return to him?
Another thing, why did he even agree to let you live with him? If he doesnít want you here anyway.
And as Medea asked, how is it possible your father is actively threatening your mother when she is living in the Philippines?


3. It seems to me you are here only for the rights, not the duties... You are not exercising your duties of being a Ďgood Swiss citizení by coming to Switzerland without a plan on how to live life here and then going to the Sozialamt after 2-3 months, expecting them to give you money. How many applications have you sent since you arrived? Unemployed Swiss people are known to send up to 100 applications per month! They apply for everything, even the crappiest of jobs. Beggars canít be choosers. And I was totally serious about joining the military.

Plus, are you aware that you have to pay the money from the Sozialamt back? As long as you donít have a job, youíre not solving your problem by going to the Sozialamt, you are simply postponing itÖ
This is probably a reason why your father doesnít want you to go to the Sozialamt. He fears you wonít find a job and leave Switzerland, leaving him to pay for your debts.


4. What does this have to do with you moving to Switzerland? It is simple fact that you will not be able to go through primary Swiss education and there is nothing you or anyone else can do about that. As I have mentioned, there is a possibility of you going to University.


5. As Odile said, there is no point avenging your mother. How exactly do you plan to do this? By punishing your father and making him pay for everything? He is obviously not willing to and you obviously canít force him to. Seeing that going to court is expensive and wary, no point going down that road.


I will give you some advice: GET OVER IT. The way I see, you have reached the point where it is time let go of this crap and get on with your life. I am speaking from personal experience, from a rather similar situation.
You blame your father for everything bad from your past, which I can understand. But what happens in the future is YOUR responsibility. You're an adult for god's sake, you can't keep blaming your father for everything bad that happens in your life.

You say you want to start a new life. YOU have to change your life, instead of waiting on OTHERS to change your life for you.
Sure, you can wait for them to do it for you, but then you should not be surprised when they try to control your life. This is exactly what is happening here. You are completely dependent on your father, expecting him to give you money and care for you. He knows this and is therefore controlling your life, because he has figured out you will not leave even if you hate him.
It may sound harsh, but hasnít it occurred to you that your father will never care about you? The truth is: He has never been a good father and he never will be. This wonít change now that youíre living with him.
My advice on how you should proceed would be: Keep to yourself and donít make any demands to your father. Your father seems to be buying food and letting you live at his place for free. If you are not interested in farm work, at least clean the house, cook, do laundry or whatever. That way your father wonít just see you as a burden.
You have internet access, so you can find jobs online and apply by email. If you are invited to a job interview, ask him for money for the transportation. Tell him the sooner you get a job, the sooner you will leave him. This should motivate him a little.
Meanwhile, you will have to put up with the fact that you wonít be having any fun (cinema, drinks, nice mealsÖ) but your only focus is finding a job. Iím quoting you here ďI really don't care if I'm not happy as long as I save money.Ē

6. See point 3

7. If your mother hasnít come to her senses in the past 25 years and filed a divorce on her own, I donít think you will be successful.
Cut your father out of your life as soon as possible and let your mother fight her own fight. She lives far away from him, so I donít see why she has to worry. If she one day decides to file for divorce, you can support her. In the meantime, I think itís best to leave it be.
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Old 05.05.2015, 20:11
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Re: RAV vs Sozial [returning Swiss citizen]

Maybe I'm wrong, and I hope I am- but if the OP were a male, the posters on this thread would be laughing him(her) back to the Phillipines.

Instead, she's told things like ' sorry if this is harsh, but in life we mortals sometimes actually have to go and work in a job we don't really like'

25 years old?! Seriously, this is ridiculous...
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  #75  
Old 01.08.2015, 16:55
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Re: RAV vs Sozial [returning Swiss citizen]

I identify myself so much with reasons: 2,3,4,6, and 8.; most people won't get it, but i feel you since you came from phillipines and i came from santo domingo, they dont understand the strugfle they have always had an easy life, in an easy country and then they moved to an even easier country, they are so entitled that they become blind.

If you have philipines traits that will explain somethings that will happen, i have been referred to as being : 50% swiss 50% immigrant, and you will find out that immigrants are gonna give you a harder time then swiss people.

Stay calm, try to correct your language a little bit, you sound immature, you have a degree now look for a way to get it convalidated or do some research to make sure it is accepted here.

The correct thing to do seems going to sozial, and take the courses from the RAV, they will train you on how to get a job and you will get language courses, take it easy it might take a year before you get a job just focus on the language and research to make sure how to get the best out of your degree.

You are not entitle for RAV, because rav is almost the same as a pension fund, it is kind of like an insurance, it also seems reduntant to go to the sozial sincr your father is helping you out, but atleast try to get the courses from the RAV.

This is your country, you have right of blood, dont let anyone bring you down.
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Old 02.08.2015, 11:50
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Re: RAV vs Sozial [returning Swiss citizen]

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I identify myself so much with reasons: 2,3,4,6, and 8.; most people won't get it, but i feel you since you came from phillipines and i came from santo domingo, they dont understand the strugfle they have always had an easy life, in an easy country and then they moved to an even easier country, they are so entitled that they become blind.
Really? I call that being blind as you do not know where we all here came from, what we had to go through or not

Last edited by 3Wishes; 02.08.2015 at 17:09. Reason: fixed quoting
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Old 02.08.2015, 12:55
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Re: RAV vs Sozial [returning Swiss citizen]

Lol, finally got my first groan, if you came from the states, australia, canada or any country in europe(europe the subcontinent including uk and excluding russia), then the transition was easy for you; geographically,economically, and/or ethnically easier.

People tend to blow out of proportion their own experience.
An unbiased and inteligent person could tell you, that if you come from one of those places you have 50% of the work done, since it is much easier for you to save money, most of your credentials are going to be accepted(or atleast your gonna get an easier time convalidating), also easier for you to actually get there since either cheap air fare or geographically close.

And well it is true in my post it kind of seemed i was referring to everyone but i was only referring to the places i mentioned in this post, unless you have felonies i doubt you have a harder time than me or the girl in this post.

And then most of you want to judge if we should be here? Or want to judge us based on us willing to go to sozial?
Any reason i choose to be here wether my story makes sense or not should not be judged by anyone here, maybe the people at th gemeinde have more reasons to judge but even them cant judge me or this girl.
When someone like me or her make posts like these , the community should feel proud of just how available and known this site has become.
I always hear that in the jobs one might find starting out, the immigrants will try to boycott you out of your job, they will sabotage you and will gossip with the boss to get you in trouble, i cant believe these kind of things start out even before setting foot in CH.

Last edited by etefan02; 02.08.2015 at 13:25. Reason: adding and grammar. subtracting personal info.
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