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Old 24.04.2015, 20:51
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I knew I was an auslander when......

I knew I was an auslander when…
I didn’t know how “emergency exit” was written in german until too late……
I nearly wet my pants trying to find a public toilet in the city, rushing into a McDonalds to find a lock on the loo, buying a coffee hoping they will buzz me in or something, not knowing the receipt (I had chucked) had a code on it…
Pantomiming chicken breast.…..
I tried to order entrecote (with some other words around it) and the kind lady kept asking me something so I said “medium?”. Still she chatted…? I made mooing sounds and she eventually neighed while showing me a picture of black beauty…….
I tried to get the supermarket checkout lady to give me 200 francs because I was paying by card…..apparently cash out has not been invented here…..
I realized the kids had not understood how to do a ski race and went straight down the hill missing every gate……. then being announced 1st and 2nd (who knew no gate penalties for kids?) …….before noticing annoyed parents surrounding the teacher and having to leg it out of there (after a quick podium pic of course!)…..
Pulling out my visa after dinner in a village to find out they only take cash…. Got down to single rappens by the end…
And finally, answering my 8 year old that the password for the computer (set up by swiss husband years ago in australia) was “F- O- T- Z- E- 55”. Turning back to my neighbours and commenting “Fotze, that’s swiss isn’t it?”
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Old 24.04.2015, 21:22
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

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Old 24.04.2015, 21:48
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

Best post for ages!
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Old 24.04.2015, 22:20
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

After 2 weeks in flat our neighbor from below paid us a visit and gave me a pair of slippers, because I "walk loudly"

Last edited by Bagnos; 25.04.2015 at 00:48. Reason: slippers, not sleepers. Damn auto-correction.
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Old 26.04.2015, 11:36
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

great post !
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Old 29.04.2015, 16:30
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

The tram driver turned around and told me to take my crying child to the back of the tram! #worstwalkofshameever
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Old 29.04.2015, 17:05
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

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The tram driver turned around and told me to take my crying child to the back of the tram! #worstwalkofshameever
"I wouldn't have minded, but it was his turn to babysit".
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Old 29.04.2015, 17:11
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

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The tram driver turned around and told me to take my crying child to the back of the tram! #worstwalkofshameever
I was told by a bus driver to blow my nose; I had been particularly congested after a dose of hayfever and had no tissues left.
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Old 29.04.2015, 17:43
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

Fotze indeed...! Take that, EF swear filter!
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Old 05.05.2015, 15:00
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

Great thread

.... my neighbour told me after 13 years (...) I could call him "Max" and "Du" ...


Cheers

Pieter
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Old 05.05.2015, 15:34
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

Haha.

Without an inkling of German, and needing to use the restroom badly, I see the signs "Damen" and "Herren". So I peed in the women's bathroom.
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Old 05.05.2015, 15:37
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

Lived here for a couple of years and one evening got talking to a stranger in the local bar who said "Ah, you must be the Englishman with not much furniture in his apartment"
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Old 05.05.2015, 16:37
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

When you cannot get your kid booked in any local activities as they are all fully booked, you know that you are not "one of them"
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Old 05.05.2015, 18:15
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

That's hilarious that you got a waitress to neigh at you. You win EF today. Also, I want to be your friend.
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Old 05.05.2015, 18:33
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

Our toddler was wrecking havoc in the supermarket, and I made a mime gesture as if I was about to hit the kid, in an attempt to signal our disapproval while being unable to apologize in German, and the dreaded look on the cachier's face.
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Old 05.05.2015, 19:21
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

...when the lady at the hotel's breakfast room in Wattwil babbled something in Swiss German I could not grasp at all and stretched her hand to me, I answered "Ja, ich habe gut geschlafen, merci vielmal!", then shook her hand and gave her 3 kiss on the cheek "Genevan style". Her face froze while her colleague's at reception burst with laughter and translated in standard German that I'd been asked if I did not mind if she cleaned my room while I was having breakfast and please could she have my keys to the room!!!


Blushing like a lobster, I was!
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Old 05.05.2015, 19:44
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

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Great thread

.... my neighbour told me after 13 years (...) I could call him "Max" and "Du" ...


Cheers

Pieter
I think that for someone that takes 13 years to warm up to their neighbor, I might answer with "Freu mich. Aber ich heisse Herr Peveka..."
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Old 05.05.2015, 20:12
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

We had just arrived in CH and we wanted to eat out: FONDUE!
The serviertochter kindly pointed out it was a bit too early, so we asked at what time it would be served.

She replied that we should please come back in October.

This was in April.

hrmpffff


Cheers

Pieter
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Old 05.05.2015, 20:27
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

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I think that for someone that takes 13 years to warm up to their neighbor, I might answer with "Freu mich. Aber ich heisse Herr Peveka..."
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Old 05.05.2015, 21:25
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Re: I knew I was an auslander when......

The car behind me was flashing its lights because I was driving with 47km/h within the 50km/h zone.
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