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  #61  
Old 19.05.2015, 16:54
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

This story is no doubt apocryphal, but fun just the same. Yakuba Gowan, erstwhile president of Nigeria, and Queen Elisabeth were driving along in a horsedrawn carriage during a state visit. Suddenly, a humongous rumplebuster split the air. The queen apologised instantly, and Yakuba Gowan replied "please don't apologise, I thought it was the horse!"
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  #62  
Old 19.05.2015, 19:10
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Meet my daughter!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um_KiCu2lYM
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  #63  
Old 19.05.2015, 19:22
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

My family likes a good fart story.

However, be careful. Jack The Ripper is not the light-hearted fart comedy I was expecting!
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  #64  
Old 19.05.2015, 19:31
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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This story is no doubt apocryphal, but fun just the same. Yakuba Gowan, erstwhile president of Nigeria, and Queen Elisabeth were driving along in a horsedrawn carriage during a state visit. Suddenly, a humongous rumplebuster split the air. The queen apologised instantly, and Yakuba Gowan replied "please don't apologise, I thought it was the horse!"


HRH never farts!... She delivers Royal Gas!
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  #65  
Old 19.05.2015, 19:33
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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My OH keeps saying women don't fart. But she does while sleeping.

My theory is, she doesn't fart while awake because she can't shut up long enough to build up sufficient pressure.
She's Swiss, isn't she.

Tom
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Old 19.05.2015, 19:35
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Well I guess this will put a smile on your face. I do not know what to do/ think and I guess I just have to accept the situation- most times I manage but other times it just really me. My husband farts- nothing wrong with it. I've asked him if poss to go to the room next door when he feels the need do it- I always do that. I explained to him that I find it gross; my father used to fart at the dinner table, comment on his farts (yes, you might be laughing but it was not my reaction back then)- anyway, I told my hubbie it'd be great if he didn't lift himself up his chair to then loudly fart in front of me especially during dinner. But does he do it? Nope. What is it with farting and the gender difference??? I do not know of one women who proudly farts in front of her husband/ boyfriend. Accepting is the key, right? As you see I struggle with it, I guess it is more about the fact he doesn't care what's important to me... Thanks for your insight!!
I fart in front of my boyfriend - I don't see how anyone can be in a serious relationship and not fart in front of the other person.
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  #67  
Old 19.05.2015, 19:39
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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I fart in front of my boyfriend - I don't see how anyone can be in a serious relationship and not fart in front of the other person.


Are you my daughter??
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  #68  
Old 19.05.2015, 19:57
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Yeah, Gone with the Wind wasnt a bundle of laughs either.
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  #69  
Old 19.05.2015, 20:06
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Strange mentality shaping going on in front of our eyes....

My son thinks only boys in his class fart, girls don't fart.. At 4 years old, girls are already, somehow, conditioned to think that farting is just for boys.

My daughter does fart but will never admit it. She tries to pass it on her brother.

I have lactose intolerance and I do fart. Obviously mine smells like roses... But I would never do that at the table or deliberately. Apparently I do that mostly at night according to hubby.
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Old 19.05.2015, 20:13
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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I fart in front of my boyfriend - I don't see how anyone can be in a serious relationship and not fart in front of the other person.
It took me ages before I farted in front of my partner. In fact, I didn't fart in front of her at all until after we were married.

Priest wasn't impressed.
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  #71  
Old 19.05.2015, 20:16
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

"Pet" is a fart in French (un pet, masculine of course, explains the gender bit).


All these times in the U.K. some nice lady would say "you're alright, pet", I thought it was a command to let go!!
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  #72  
Old 19.05.2015, 20:32
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Germans and Swiss Germans love a good "fart out". TheY advertise them at every motorway exit.
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Old 19.05.2015, 20:44
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Germans and Swiss Germans love a good "fart out". TheY advertise them at every motorway exit.
Dare I ask you what an "Einfahrt" is, then....
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  #74  
Old 19.05.2015, 20:46
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Dare I ask you what an "Einfahrt" is, then....

Constipation!!
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  #75  
Old 19.05.2015, 21:12
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Dare I ask you what an "Einfahrt" is, then....
Aha! Its simple. Men ausfahrt, women einfahrt.
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  #76  
Old 19.05.2015, 21:15
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Like the old public toilet rhyme...

Here I sit,
broken-hearted.
Paid a penny,
and only farted.
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  #77  
Old 19.05.2015, 21:32
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

I can stop it and giggle each time I see Ausfart.....
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  #78  
Old 19.05.2015, 21:37
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Sometimes the bus companies organize special trips during which people are encouraged too fart as much as they want.



and there are even bus companies specializing in the experience
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Last edited by 3Wishes; 31.05.2015 at 09:40. Reason: resized massive photo
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  #79  
Old 19.05.2015, 22:27
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Several years ago, I was unfortunate enough to have an abscess - right where the sun doesn't shine.

Not only was it extremely uncomfortable, but it was completely embarrassing when I farted.
As hard as I tried to be discreet and silent, every time I farted came the noise, much akin to the name of a Japanese motorbike manufacturer ..... I mean, every time.

Obviously, I sought medical advice and visited my GP (no, not a MotoGP, ha,ha) and was completely shocked by his reaction, after I'd explained my predicament and he'd made his examination ...... he just leaned back and laughed.

He stood there and looked at me, shocked that I hadn't worked it out for myself.

- "It's obvious, you see," he said ....... "Abscess makes the fart go Honda"
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  #80  
Old 19.05.2015, 23:23
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Or, out of sight, out of wind...
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