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  #81  
Old 19.05.2015, 23:33
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

just let one go
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  #82  
Old 19.05.2015, 23:54
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Mom, dad have a look here ... New thread on the EF!
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  #83  
Old 20.05.2015, 04:33
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Thing is, we are all concerned, even queens and presidents....
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  #84  
Old 20.05.2015, 08:03
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Mom, dad have a look here ... New thread on the EF!
From the same series but for another time: burping. As far as I remember schoolboys could do it on demand...
Anyways, Efers never let me down..
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  #85  
Old 20.05.2015, 08:15
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Farting is just one of the most amusing things ever.

Favourite places to fart are busy places where I can drop a real stinker and see peoples reaction like a crowded tram or standing room only in the train. But i really struggle not to laugh. I had steak last night and i can already smell some good meaty stuff this morning, watch out commuters.

Of course yes, anybody else's fart is disgusting but mine smell great.
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Old 20.05.2015, 11:34
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

My dearly departed nan used to drop discrete silent farts at the bus stop, in church, old people's home; you name it!

She thought nobody noticed and that she'd got away with it for years.

Until we changed the battery in her hearing aid.
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  #87  
Old 20.05.2015, 11:46
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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My dearly departed nan used to drop discrete silent farts at the bus stop, in church, old people's home; you name it!

She thought nobody noticed and that she'd got away with it for years.

Until we changed the battery in her hearing aid.
Ignorance is sometimes the best way.

By the way, most farts are discrete, but not all are discreet...
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  #88  
Old 20.05.2015, 11:52
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

My children are the quality managers for the farting section at home.
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  #89  
Old 20.05.2015, 12:04
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

** Old Joke Warning **

Toff: I say sir! How dare you fart in front of my wife!

Pleb: Oh sorry guv. I didn't realize it was her turn.
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  #90  
Old 20.05.2015, 12:54
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

I think we find the harmonics of farts amusing. The perfect ones would strike a chord. A glissando, or glide to other octaves is a feat of grace. Its a great way to punctuate the quiet moments of life. Its the music of living.

If you should hear some percussion in it, its a tell-tale sign something horrible has happened and should be addressed at the earliest convenience.
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  #91  
Old 20.05.2015, 13:55
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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I think we find the harmonics of farts amusing. The perfect ones would strike a chord. A glissando, or glide to other octaves is a feat of grace. Its a great way to punctuate the quiet moments of life. Its the music of living.
Very poetic indeed, but it's the subharmonics that count most.
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  #92  
Old 20.05.2015, 14:17
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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I think we find the harmonics of farts amusing. The perfect ones would strike a chord. A glissando, or glide to other octaves is a feat of grace. Its a great way to punctuate the quiet moments of life. Its the music of living.

If you should hear some percussion in it, its a tell-tale sign something horrible has happened and should be addressed at the earliest convenience.
Well if you want harmonics, try farting on a motorbike saddle, the shiny plasticy ones, after exit you get a kind of bubble between the cheeks that works itīs way down the path of least resistance until the moment when it escapes with a whistling sound that can shatter dogs and make glass howl.
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  #93  
Old 20.05.2015, 14:32
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Well if you want harmonics, try farting on a motorbike saddle, the shiny plasticy ones, after exit you get a kind of bubble between the cheeks that works itīs way down the path of least resistance until the moment when it escapes with a whistling sound that can shatter dogs and make glass howl.
On a runnin bike?
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  #94  
Old 20.05.2015, 18:13
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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On a runnin bike?
Of course, the vibrations from a running bike actually causes your cheeks to effectively gaslock any emissions, then when the pressure has built up sufficiently "eeeEEEEEeeeeeep" unless you shift position then you get the "Pfrappp" of a catastrophic release.
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Old 20.05.2015, 18:15
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

In 1900 "Gai Paris", farting was considered an art form and Le Moulin Rouge was sold out every night with the famous "petomane":


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evwLzR57wsc
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  #96  
Old 20.05.2015, 18:46
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Of course, the vibrations from a running bike actually causes your cheeks to effectively gaslock any emissions, then when the pressure has built up sufficiently "eeeEEEEEeeeeeep" unless you shift position then you get the "Pfrappp" of a catastrophic release.
I love it when you get technical.
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  #97  
Old 20.05.2015, 18:51
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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In 1900 "Gai Paris", farting was considered an art form and Le Moulin Rouge was sold out every night with the famous "petomane":


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evwLzR57wsc
In ancient Egypt farting was considered a kingly sport. Rather than hold elections they held annual farting competitions with the winner being declared fart-a-o.

They also invented heavy sarcophagusi as they believed fart-a-os would continue farting after death and this was the only way to contain the smell.

The odorous emissions of the fart-a-o killed most of the flora-o and fauna-o of Egypt and were directly responsible for the creation of the Sahara-o. The region has not recovered to this day.

When the Carter expedition entered Tutankahm-a-o's tomb, they inhaled the foul vapours caused by the farting of the deceased fart-a-o and his high priests. Most of them died as a result.
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  #98  
Old 20.05.2015, 19:02
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Of course no Fartthread can be without...:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPplyQWf-u4
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  #99  
Old 20.05.2015, 19:05
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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In ancient Egypt farting was considered a kingly sport. Rather than hold elections they held annual farting competitions with the winner being declared fart-a-o.

They also invented heavy sarcophagusi as they believed fart-a-os would continue farting after death and this was the only way to contain the smell.

The odorous emissions of the fart-a-o killed most of the flora-o and fauna-o of Egypt and were directly responsible for the creation of the Sahara-o. The region has not recovered to this day.

When the Carter expedition entered Tutankahm-a-o's tomb, they inhaled the foul vapours caused by the farting of the deceased fart-a-o and his high priests. Most of them died as a result.
DB, is it you?
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Old 20.05.2015, 19:18
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Of course, the vibrations from a running bike actually causes your cheeks to effectively gaslock any emissions, then when the pressure has built up sufficiently "eeeEEEEEeeeeeep" unless you shift position then you get the "Pfrappp" of a catastrophic release.
So is the effect vibrato or tremolo?
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