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  #121  
Old 22.05.2015, 14:38
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Favorite pasttime during sleepovers and camping trips was to cover someone under the sheets, and let one go. It's called the Dutch Oven. Oh, the good 'ol days.


I did that with my new bride - just so she knew what to expect going forward.


Yup - 20yrs and still going!


This is what we did at camp...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQyzzs4rZBA
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  #122  
Old 23.05.2015, 00:00
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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If he doesn't get it, I would withhold sex indefinitely from him until he changes. See if he behaves
I dunno. Maybe farting is more fun.
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  #123  
Old 23.05.2015, 00:17
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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I find the title sexist. Why only 'man'?
Because...
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  #124  
Old 23.05.2015, 09:50
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Nothing better for gender equality than Jerusalem artichokes soup at the vicar's last night!!
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  #125  
Old 23.05.2015, 10:01
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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I've never heard my SO lay one. If she had, it must of smelled like roses. Only me, the dog or the cats do that in my world.
In general, mine don't smell. They do, however, sound like a whopping clap of thunder.
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  #126  
Old 23.05.2015, 11:42
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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In general, mine don't smell. They do, however, sound like a whopping clap of thunder.
Sweet old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, please help me. The last few months I've been passing gas like mad. The interesting thing is, it's absolutely odorless and silent. You wouldn't believe it, but I let two big ones go just while talking to you, and you didn't even notice. Nevertheless, they make me feel very uncomfortable."

The doctor does a few tests, then gives her a med and asks her to see him again in two weeks.

Ok, she shows up, he asks how things went, she says, "Not well. I'm still passing gas, but unlike before the remedy, now it stinks terribly."

"That's great," says the doc, "your nose is free now. Next we're going to take care of your hearing."
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  #127  
Old 23.05.2015, 11:52
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Sweet old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, please help me. The last few months I've been passing gas like mad. The interesting thing is, it's absolutely odorless and silent. You wouldn't believe it, but I let two big ones go just while talking to you, and you didn't even notice. Nevertheless, they make me feel very uncomfortable."

The doctor does a few tests, then gives her a med and asks her to see him again in two weeks.

Ok, she shows up, he asks how things went, she says, "Not well. I'm still passing gas, but unlike before the remedy, now it stinks terribly."

"That's great," says the doc, "your nose is free now. Next we're going to take care of your hearing."
One of my friends gave birth a few months ago, and for the first 2-3 weeks after she gave birth she was involuntarily passing gas (sort of gas "incontinence")...."next to her man" - day time and for sure, at night. Needless to say she was mortified. But, she couldn't help so decided to get out in public as little as possible...now she's OK. (or at least my nose is not doing well)
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  #128  
Old 23.05.2015, 11:55
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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One of my friends gave birth a few months ago, and for the first 2-3 weeks after she gave birth she was involuntarily passing gas....next to her man, day time and for sure, nights. Needless to say she was mortified. But, she couldn't help so decided to get out in public as little as possible...now she's OK.
Ladies, we are not passing wimpy gas like a bunch of pussies, WE FART!
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  #129  
Old 23.05.2015, 11:56
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Ladies, we are not passing wimpy gas like a bunch of pussies, WE FART!
Congratulations!
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  #130  
Old 23.05.2015, 12:33
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Congratulations!
Thank you, thank you, I am here all week and will be signing my book: "how to fart like a gatling gun" in the toilet next to the foyer.
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  #131  
Old 23.05.2015, 13:08
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

this is one of the most entertaining threads i have read in a long time, thanks for making my day everyone
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  #132  
Old 23.05.2015, 13:27
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Omg! Just came home on the bus, sat behind an old gentleman and his wife, no one else around, and there was a sudden unbelievable smell, one of the silent but deadly type.
Thank god for the aircon blowing air down past the window, I spent the next few minutes with my nose pointing upwards as near to the window as possible.
I would have moved, but I didn't want to embarrass the old couple.
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  #133  
Old 23.05.2015, 13:40
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

You don't want him to spontaneously combust, do you?

http://southpark.cc.com/clips/151180...e-the-pressure
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  #134  
Old 23.05.2015, 15:32
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Omg! Just came home on the bus, sat behind an old gentleman and his wife, no one else around, and there was a sudden unbelievable smell, one of the silent but deadly type.
Thank god for the aircon blowing air down past the window, I spent the next few minutes with my nose pointing upwards as near to the window as possible.
I would have moved, but I didn't want to embarrass the old couple.

Like smelly old dogs, you should have taken them to the vet to be put down!
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  #135  
Old 23.05.2015, 17:42
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

"Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that's where shitty ideas come from." – Anonymous



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  #136  
Old 23.05.2015, 17:54
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Omg! Just came home on the bus, sat behind an old gentleman and his wife, no one else around, and there was a sudden unbelievable smell, one of the silent but deadly type.
Thank god for the aircon blowing air down past the window, I spent the next few minutes with my nose pointing upwards as near to the window as possible.
I would have moved, but I didn't want to embarrass the old couple.
Yeah, they might have got the blame if somebody else moved into the seat you'd vacated in shame.
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  #137  
Old 23.05.2015, 18:07
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Yeah, they might have got the blame if somebody else moved into the seat you'd vacated in shame.
But...I am a girl..
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  #138  
Old 23.05.2015, 18:07
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Is this for real? OK it's Fox News but ...

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  #139  
Old 23.05.2015, 18:40
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Is this for real? OK it's Fox News but ...

In that case my old man on the bus should get at least two hours detention.
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  #140  
Old 23.05.2015, 22:09
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

I can recommend the Aldi Suisse fish pie with Bernaise sauce.
My wife abandoned the conjugal bed at 3am today.
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