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  #141  
Old 23.05.2015, 22:11
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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My wife abandoned the conjugal bed at 3am today.
To fart out of range?

Tom
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  #142  
Old 26.05.2015, 17:38
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Let me start by apologizing for most men out there....but since elementary school and maybe earlier, we find it funny. There are definite differences between the sexes when it comes to "passing gas". It is said that women do NOT fart, but I have a theory: You know how women always seem to go to the bathroom together, like in groups, well, imo, it's because only a couple have to really relieve themselves, the rest just have to fart..hahahaha....my GF says I'm crazy, which she usually reserves for those times that I am right. comments???
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  #143  
Old 26.05.2015, 17:50
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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I can recommend the Aldi Suisse fish pie with Bernaise sauce.
My wife abandoned the conjugal bed at 3am today.
HA! I use a CPAP at nights, I can fart under the sheets with total immunity, unless I drop an amoebae that rolls out from under the cover and finds its way into the air-intake, then I am screwed.
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  #144  
Old 26.05.2015, 17:53
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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I can recommend the Aldi Suisse fish pie with Bernaise sauce.
My wife abandoned the conjugal bed at 3am today.
This has got to be one of the most disgusting threads ever.
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  #145  
Old 26.05.2015, 18:12
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

After over a decade of disappointing my wife at night with my "releases...", I started wearing two (2) pair of underwear to bed, with two (2) dryer sheets in between them, in the rear, after that my late night gas parties were "Spring fresh!!"...hahahaha...it really works btw.
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  #146  
Old 26.05.2015, 19:03
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

A fartfilter, who would have known
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  #147  
Old 26.05.2015, 19:32
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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A fartfilter, who would have known

An angry wife is the true mother of invention...hehe
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  #148  
Old 26.05.2015, 19:56
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Omg! Just came home on the bus, sat behind an old gentleman and his wife, no one else around, and there was a sudden unbelievable smell, one of the silent but deadly type.
Thank god for the aircon blowing air down past the window, I spent the next few minutes with my nose pointing upwards as near to the window as possible.
I would have moved, but I didn't want to embarrass the old couple.
Ever the polite sweetie! ❤
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  #149  
Old 26.05.2015, 20:16
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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You know how women always seem to go to the bathroom together, like in groups, well, imo, it's because only a couple have to really relieve themselves, the rest just have to fart..hahahaha....my GF says I'm crazy, which she usually reserves for those times that I am right. comments???
I always thought women go to the restroom together so they have somebody to chat with while waiting in the long line caused by the fact that women always go to the restroom in groups.
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  #150  
Old 26.05.2015, 20:24
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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I always thought women go to the restroom together so they have somebody to chat with while waiting in the long line caused by the fact that women always go to the restroom in groups.
...yes, yes...and as they stand and wait, they pass gas in groups so no one is innocent!
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  #151  
Old 26.05.2015, 20:30
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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After over a decade of disappointing my wife at night with my "releases...", I started wearing two (2) pair of underwear to bed, with two (2) dryer sheets in between them, in the rear, after that my late night gas parties were "Spring fresh!!"...hahahaha...it really works btw.
After carefully reading the above, I am sure that it works,as you say. But does it work as a fartfilter, contraception, or a chastity belt ?

Many wives are disappointed by their husband's releases, but they usually find that a toyboy helps admirably to overcome any disappointment in this respect.

Last edited by Marsalforn; 26.05.2015 at 20:30. Reason: Typo
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  #152  
Old 26.05.2015, 20:51
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Address tae a fart
Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
As ye sit doon amongst yer kin
There sterts tae stir an enormous win'

The neeps an' tatties an' mushy peas
Stert workin' like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin' wi' the sonsie face
Will have ye blawin' a' ower the place.

Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A'body's gonnae hae tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
It's like a bullet oot o' a rifle

Haud yer bum tight tae the chair
Tae try an' stop the leakin' air
Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Pray tae God it disnae reek.

But aw yer efforts gan asunder
Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder
Ricochets aroon' the room
Michty me! A sonic boom

God Almichty, it fairly reeks!
Hope I huvnae s**t ma breeks!
Tae the bog ah'd better scurry,
Ach, whit the hell, it's no ma worry.

A'body roon aboot me chokin'
Yin or twa were nearly boakin'
I'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile.

Wis him! I shout with accusin' glower,
Alas! Too late! He's just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger, they shout and stare
A didnae feel welcome ony mair

Where e'r ye be let yer wind gan free
Sounds like just the job for me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
Ower the sake o' one wee farty.
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  #153  
Old 26.05.2015, 20:51
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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After carefully reading the above, I am sure that it works,as you say. But does it work as a fartfilter, contraception, or a chastity belt ?

Many wives are disappointed by their husband's releases, but they usually find that a toyboy helps admirably to overcome any disappointment in this respect.
hahahaha....maybe all three. Hard to get romantic for either of us after smelling "perfumy poop". Btw, vegans and vegetarians pass more gas than "meat and potato" type people research shows and she wanted me to eat more healthy, so one could say she brought it on herself...in the end, we worked it out. I.e., if I wanted to "get lucky" I would go outside the room, release and return..(not to be confused with "catch and release)
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  #154  
Old 27.05.2015, 00:53
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Thread still going on? Thought this is appropriate place to post this:

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  #155  
Old 27.05.2015, 01:17
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Thread still going on? Thought this is appropriate place to post this:


///..uh, playing Scrabble??
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  #156  
Old 27.05.2015, 13:35
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Thread still going on? Thought this is appropriate place to post this:

That's 66 points, excluding the scoring of the second (or further) words which you have created, plus any relevant square bonuses.

Not bad for hot air!
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