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Old 21.09.2015, 07:20
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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Interesting. Until what age do you think a female partner is called a "girlfriend"? Until what age a male partner a "boyfriend"?
There is no age limit. The term "partner" instead of "girlfriend" is a recent PC modification of the language, but a great many people - probably most? - still use it for all ages, myself included.

Especially as in my case, Partner refers to my boss at work, not my boss at home...
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  #22  
Old 21.09.2015, 08:20
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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There is no age limit. The term "partner" instead of "girlfriend" is a recent PC modification of the language, but a great many people - probably most? - still use it for all ages, myself included.
Partner also tends more to imply a full-time, living together relationship, and doesn't exclude married couples, whereas girlfriend/boyfriend means not married and doesn't exclude less committed relationships.

Simple, innit?
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Old 21.09.2015, 09:55
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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Interesting. Until what age do you think a female partner is called a "girlfriend"? Until what age a male partner a "boyfriend"?
I went through various stages with my mother's lover. At first I avoided boyfriend, because it sounded like, well, they might be having sex or something that young people do

"Partner" always sounded like she'd gone lesbian in her latter years.

Eventually, I just settled using the right word and went with "boyfriend". Well, actually, he eventually died, so we were a bit sad and just used his name.

She has a new(ish) 76 year old boyfriend now...
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Old 21.09.2015, 12:00
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

I've been on holidays with one and also once with two female friends, all of them relatively hot, but without any sex happening.

Most of my male friends thought I was a pretty cool stud for pulling that one off, although I "forgot" to mention the no sex bit to them.

On one occasion we even shared a bed and at one point in the night she snuggled up against me (it was a small bed) and I mistakenly thought this was an invitation to start something so I started cuddling back but she brushed me aside and said, stop it we're just friends. So I did, and we never discussed that incident again so I don't know what if anything she really wanted.

She did dress and undress in my line of vision though, or showered while I was brushing my teeth, even though I concentrated hard not to look too closely (well, sort of). But I guess we had a small budget room and she didn't really have much choice.

Oh, and she would snuggle up against me on the bus every day. So talk about women sending mixed signals.
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  #25  
Old 21.09.2015, 12:28
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

I think entering a mixed signals science...can get tricky. Especially if what guys over-interpret as mixed signals, is a girl simply being caught up in her own world, or being busy, or confident, or not too shy, or not caring for some ritualistic behavior. I think times are changing, not sure if it is particularly represented by a girl wanting to travel alone (some hols apart are a great thing, in my opinion and experience), or in general people considering some part of their life being reserved for themselves only..being able to grow requires tolerance and space. We either take it, or ask to have it granted. One can have it in a tight couple (an art to achieve), or, in a couple that does spend some time apart.

But when people make too much point of their own independence, or not needing the other person, or announce too ostentatiously their desire to "break free the traditional bonds", sounds more about the act of proclamation than actual, honest need. Those are usually manifested by acts, not speeches. So, OP - trust your gut feeling when interpreting signals, might be genuine, might be a form of defence. Giving space is always good..there is no need to rush to secure anything. Security is somewhat a matter of illusion on one hand, on the other a matter of self trust and self faith. Honoring one's feelings and needs is important, too, communicating about all is a necessity, since it does not give much opportunity for over-interpretation.
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Last edited by MusicChick; 21.09.2015 at 12:47.
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  #26  
Old 21.09.2015, 12:41
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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Hi.

I'm Spanish and I'm living in Bern.

I met a girl and she is fantastic and so on, but she likes to travel a lot, and told me that yeah, she is looking for a serious relationship (we've been dating since almost 2 months, meeting every week several times, sleeping over her house...) but she also told me, that she doesn't like relationships where you are 24/7 with your boyfriend. She prefers to have her own time for everything (I will explain later this point), and the time she spends with her boyfriend to be the best possible .

She also like I said travels a lot. Alone always or with a friend that she could meet in India or wherever. And she says that is just that and many people can't understand that you can travel with someone without having sex. I mean. She is going to Italy in a few weeks with an Indian guy, and yeah she says he is just a friend. But do you think that is normal?. She told me that she is not going to change her travels alone or with friends, that I have to know that to think if I would be capable to have a relationship with someone like her.I mean, she says and I trust her that they are just friends and that's all. But anyway.... do you think it's normal not wanting to spend most time possible with her boyfriend? Or go to as many travels as possible with her boyfriend instead of going alone or with a friend????.

Its just me because I'm from Spain and I never experienced something like this before or do you also think this is not normal???.

Or maybe that's the way swiss girls like to live. I don't know. If you could give me some advices about this would be great. Thanks.
There is a very strong chance that the guys she goes on holiday with are attracted to her, even if she is not attracted to them.

However, if you trust her then you just have to decide if it is something you can deal with. Either way, it sounds like she is not yet at the stage of settling down and really getting serious with a guy.

How old are you boith?

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I've been on holidays with one and also once with two female friends, all of them relatively hot, but without any sex happening.
Fail.

Last edited by Richdog; 21.09.2015 at 12:52.
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  #27  
Old 21.09.2015, 12:49
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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Only if they are the wrong sex or ugly.
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I've been on holidays with one and also once with two female friends, all of them relatively hot, but without any sex happening.
Now, how to put this delicately: were the young ladies in question lesbians?
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  #28  
Old 21.09.2015, 12:52
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

Speaking of over-interpretations...

A girl can't do it right. On hols with a guy, automatically sleeping with him. On hols with a gf, the same. What happened to just simply loving to travel to learn about new places.
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  #29  
Old 21.09.2015, 12:59
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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Speaking of over-interpretations...

A girl can't do it right. On hols with a guy, automatically sleeping with him. On hols with a gf, the same. What happened to just simply loving to travel to learn about new places.
I think it can be difficult for a guy to know when a girl is being confident and when she's got some scheme.

I attended a wedding once with a female friend. It was a good friend of hers getting married but I didn't even know her friend but she asked me to come because "everybody else would be with a partner". So I did feel a bit strange at the wedding not knowing anybody whereas everybody else seemed to know everybody else and my consort seemed to be in the middle of it and forgot about me. Well, as it turned out our hotel room had a double bed and I retired a bit early being bored and tired and was so fast asleep that I didn't hear her come into the room when finally she did.

Of course I also woke well ahead of her and I was having breakfast downstairs when she stumbled out of bed with a bad hangover.

Some days later she told me that she was disppointed in me. i asked why. She said she had tried to wake me but i was too fast asleep. i asked her what she wanted to wake me for, and she said, sex of course, what else?
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  #30  
Old 21.09.2015, 13:03
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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I think it can be difficult for a guy to know when a girl is being confident and when she's got some scheme.

I attended a wedding once with a female friend. It was a good friend of hers getting married but I didn't even know her friend but she asked me to come because "everybody else would be with a partner". So I did feel a bit strange at the wedding not knowing anybody whereas everybody else seemed to know everybody else and my consort seemed to be in the middle of it and forgot about me. Well, as it turned out our hotel room had a double bed and I retired a bit early being bored and tired and was so fast asleep that I didn't hear her come into the room when finally she did.

Some days later she told me that she was disppointed in me. i asked why. She said she had tried to wake me but i was too fast asleep. i asked her what she wanted to wake me for, and she said, sex of course, what else?
And what exactly do these stories show, other than you repeatedly fail at getting lucky?
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  #31  
Old 21.09.2015, 13:14
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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I think it can be difficult for a guy to know when a girl is being confident and when she's got some scheme.

I attended a wedding once with a female friend. It was a good friend of hers getting married but I didn't even know her friend but she asked me to come because "everybody else would be with a partner". So I did feel a bit strange at the wedding not knowing anybody whereas everybody else seemed to know everybody else and my consort seemed to be in the middle of it and forgot about me. Well, as it turned out our hotel room had a double bed and I retired a bit early being bored and tired and was so fast asleep that I didn't hear her come into the room when finally she did.

Of course I also woke well ahead of her and I was havinh breakfast downstairs when she stumbled out of bed with a bad hangover.

Some days later she told me that she was disppointed in me. i asked why. She said she had tried to wake me but i was too fast asleep. i asked her what she wanted to wake me for, and she said, sex of course, what else?

Hmmmm. Well, this is what I meant by need for clear communication. She might have not wanted to show up alone, still have a chance to score with somebody else out there...or whatever. Being a back up plan or an easy prey for opportunists sucks for anyone, gender irrespectively. I think you were a gent for not pushing.

I think the idea of independence, or cues of it, are often misread, though. Not sure what is really changing in the girls-guys dynamics lately, nothing to do with culture, btw, more with pace of life in general..If anything, it is not the desire to be independent and respected, that people see as modern. That need has been here for ever. What is changing is girls being more free with expressing their desire for non-conventionality, discovery, impulse, love for the unknown, curiosity and surprise. One needs guts to need it, show it, look for it in others. Maybe talking about it to a guy sends mixed signals to some..
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Last edited by MusicChick; 21.09.2015 at 13:40.
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  #32  
Old 21.09.2015, 14:03
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

this thread needs an accompanying song

I nominate:

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  #33  
Old 21.09.2015, 14:12
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

First things I think about when I wake up in the morning is sex and food. Its biological, and beats all the premeditated formalities people go through to have sex.
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Old 21.09.2015, 14:29
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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Interesting. Until what age do you think a female partner is called a "girlfriend"? Until what age a male partner a "boyfriend"?
I am 54 & my GF is 55, we call each other boyfriend & girlfriend. I guess it will be husband & wife next, I don't think it makes any difference that we have known each other for 39 years.
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Old 21.09.2015, 14:36
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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First things I think about when I wake up in the morning is sex and food. Its biological, and beats all the premeditated formalities people go through to have sex.
Congratulations!

I hope you communicate your priorities clearly
Maslow would be proud.

I do think there might be a slight gender (maybe not cultural) difference there

Who knows. I say, whatever floats peoples' boats.
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Old 21.09.2015, 14:38
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

Notice I only said "think about". My informal survey shows the same goes for most people of all genders.
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  #37  
Old 21.09.2015, 14:41
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

my first thoughts in the morning is neither food, nor sex, but usually "f*&K, is that the time already" usually followed by burying my head into the pillow.
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  #38  
Old 21.09.2015, 14:50
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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If you could give me some advices about this would be great. Thanks.
who cares if it's "normal" or not, if you don't like the behavior then kick her to the curb. likewise, if you don't mind the behavior, then don't complain about it.

I've never understood people who spend time thinking about relationships - you have no obligation to be in a relationship, and you certainly have no obligation to make the relationship you are in with this woman "work" or "last". if it feels right, then it is; if it doesn't feel right, then it isn't.
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  #39  
Old 21.09.2015, 14:56
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

Maybe OP's GF is making that point that if he isn't going to buy the cow, he doesn't have exclusivity to its milk.
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Old 21.09.2015, 15:17
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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Maybe OP's GF is making that point that if he isn't going to buy the cow, he doesn't have exclusivity to its milk.
Does he know she's pregnant?
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