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Old 20.09.2015, 21:02
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Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

Hi.

I'm Spanish and I'm living in Bern.

I met a girl and she is fantastic and so on, but she likes to travel a lot, and told me that yeah, she is looking for a serious relationship (we've been dating since almost 2 months, meeting every week several times, sleeping over her house...) but she also told me, that she doesn't like relationships where you are 24/7 with your boyfriend. She prefers to have her own time for everything (I will explain later this point), and the time she spends with her boyfriend to be the best possible .

She also like I said travels a lot. Alone always or with a friend that she could meet in India or wherever. And she says that is just that and many people can't understand that you can travel with someone without having sex. I mean. She is going to Italy in a few weeks with an Indian guy, and yeah she says he is just a friend. But do you think that is normal?. She told me that she is not going to change her travels alone or with friends, that I have to know that to think if I would be capable to have a relationship with someone like her.I mean, she says and I trust her that they are just friends and that's all. But anyway.... do you think it's normal not wanting to spend most time possible with her boyfriend? Or go to as many travels as possible with her boyfriend instead of going alone or with a friend????.

Its just me because I'm from Spain and I never experienced something like this before or do you also think this is not normal???.

Or maybe that's the way swiss girls like to live. I don't know. If you could give me some advices about this would be great. Thanks.
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Old 20.09.2015, 21:10
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

Not specifically Swiss behaviour. And yes, it's perfectly possibly to travel with a friend and not have sex with them.
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Old 20.09.2015, 21:12
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

Find a hotter looking girl than her , tell her that you are just going to visit.. say Paris for a weekend with the hotter chic. Tell her that is just that ... see how much she "understands"...
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Old 20.09.2015, 21:12
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

Normal, not normal? What does that mean? At the end of the day, that is the way she wants to live- so you have little choice. Either you can live with it and trust her- or you can't. If you can't- then it's time to let go- otherwise, it's time to trust and let her get on with the life she chooses. Your choice.
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Old 20.09.2015, 21:15
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

It's perfectly normal.

I'm Spanish as well and, if I had to spend aaaall my time with my (Swiss, if that makes any difference) husband, I'd end up killing him. Which would be a shame, since I really like the guy.
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Old 20.09.2015, 21:16
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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Find a hotter looking girl than her , tell her that you are just going to visit.. say Paris for a weekend with the hotter chic. Tell her that is just that ... see how much she "understands"...
Yeah just told her what if I go to Italy with a friend (girl) and sleep in the same bedroom (different beds )and told me that she would trust me and had no problem with that as long as it's a friend. So.... didnt work haha
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Old 20.09.2015, 21:21
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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Yeah just told her what if I go to Italy with a friend (girl) and sleep in the same bedroom (different beds )and told me that she would trust me and had no problem with that as long as it's a friend. So.... didnt work haha
No no.. that's way too easy , you've got to HAVE the friends first before you ask... I've had many exes who would bullshit up until the point that I had the really hot friends , then when the insecurity started on their side , the cracks in their wonderful theories appeared pretty quickly. Women never play fair in love or war and neither should you - which doesnt mean you should lie or cheat either.
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Old 20.09.2015, 21:25
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

Is it a question of exclusivity? Younger Swiss girls seem to have independently minded role models, and with the availability of options, may have a different concept of what a "serious" relationship should be like. "Serious" is the antonym of "fun".

Marriage may be the defining line. I've seem many Swiss women forego independence, career and ambitions to play the more traditional role of a wife.

Sounds like a discussion you ought to have with her, instead of an internet forum.
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Old 20.09.2015, 21:44
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

No not normal, actually they are hotter than rabbits!
I always have to carry a pepper spray to to keep my assets intact
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Old 20.09.2015, 23:16
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

Are you sure you are in a relationsip with her and she doesn't just consider it friends with benefits?
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Old 20.09.2015, 23:20
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

I used to go away with girls quite often and it was just a friend thing.

Nothing untoward ever happened.




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Old 20.09.2015, 23:21
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

Perfectly normal, to go on holiday and travelling with friends, and spend time alone when you are not in a "serious" relationship. Once you are living together then it is a bit weird, normally then you go away together. That said, I'll still go on short trips with friends and family, as I have more free time than my husband.
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Old 20.09.2015, 23:36
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

My Swiss wife always seems to go away on fun little trips, while i'm stuck at work to pay for it all..

get out while you still can!
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Old 20.09.2015, 23:41
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

@darkmessiah
One of the happiest married couples I have ever known told me this: In each partnership/marriage, there are people, and activities, that are "hers", "his" and "ours".
And all the people are older or younger, married or single, male or female, etc.
They told me that relationships go wrong where one person tries to prevent the other one from having friends in one of the categories.

Your partner (unless she's younger than about 19, she is no longer a "girlfriend") is going travelling with a friend who is in the category, "hers" male, single, same-age. Sounds fine to me. Why would she not do so?

You could perhaps join her on some of those trips, but then it would only be a really fun time if you were not jealously on the look-out for signs that her other friend were more important to her than you. Maybe you will get on with the man, and he might end up as an "our" friend instead of just a "her" friend. That's possible.
As soon as you enter into any mind-set of competition, you're likely to be in an unhappy place in yourself, because then the time you share will no longer about your partnership but about your "winning" somehow.

There is no point in trying to convert any woman or any man to your way or thinking. If you cannot feel comfortable with your partner enjoying a great time with other people, and she expressly says that's what she wants to do, then, as Odile says, you and she have a fundamental, basic conflict. You cannot possess her, you cannot make her stay, you cannot make her choose to spend every free minute with you. What would be the point? In what way would you feel better if she were with you all the time?
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Old 21.09.2015, 00:05
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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I used to go away with girls quite often and it was just a friend thing.

Nothing untoward ever happened.




Tough!

Depends on your definition of "untoward"?
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Old 21.09.2015, 00:12
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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Perfectly normal, to go on holiday and travelling with friends, and spend time alone when you are not in a "serious" relationship. Once you are living together then it is a bit weird, normally then you go away together. That said, I'll still go on short trips with friends and family, as I have more free time than my husband.
Been married for 44 years- and I have always gone on some holidays, trips and even work placements/exchanges abroad for up to 3.5 months without him- and so has he. Being velcroed 24/7 and lack of trust is a total recipe for disaster, imho. Each to their own. If you marry a 'free' spirit- it will only last if the trust is there, and the spirit can be free- in trust. If that is not possible for you- then it looks like it would be better to accept this and stop the relationship going further, as it would be doomed.
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Old 21.09.2015, 00:29
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

hmm...it could be normal, but did I understand that they will sleep in the same room /yet separate beds? Personally -for me- that would be pushing it. But that is just me, unfortunately I am the jealous kind

I also think that people are different, cultural backgrounds are different, morals & values are different, and also depending on how serious your dating?/ relationship? is with that person.
Are you both on the same 'line' so to speak, etc, etc.

Basically, Trust is the main theme here (and for the jealous ones; also a back-up plan just in case your 'worst' fear comes true, that is ...you WILL survive! :-)
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Old 21.09.2015, 00:35
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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Your partner (unless she's younger than about 19, she is no longer a "girlfriend")
Unless, of course, you're speaking English, in which case, yes, she's a "girlfriend".
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Old 21.09.2015, 00:44
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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And yes, it's perfectly possibly to travel with a friend and not have sex with them.
Only if they are the wrong sex or ugly.
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Old 21.09.2015, 02:58
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Re: Is this the normal behaviour of Swiss girls?

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Unless, of course, you're speaking English, in which case, yes, she's a "girlfriend".


Interesting. Until what age do you think a female partner is called a "girlfriend"? Until what age a male partner a "boyfriend"?
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