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Old 05.10.2015, 08:05
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Mexican-Swiss Wedding

I attended a Mexican (Groom) Swiss (Bride) wedding in Switzerland. All the brides guests brought presents and cards with cash for the couple. The grooms guests, family and friends came empty handed, no cards or gifts and only few of them had the courtesy to thank the brides parents who had invited and spent heavily. Is this typical Mexican customs? I felt sorry for the newly wed couple.
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Old 05.10.2015, 08:15
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Re: Mexican-Swiss Wedding

Maybe the Mexican guests gave their present/s before the wedding.
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Old 05.10.2015, 11:25
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Re: Mexican-Swiss Wedding

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I attended a Mexican (Groom) Swiss (Bride) wedding in Switzerland. All the brides guests brought presents and cards with cash for the couple. The grooms guests, family and friends came empty handed, no cards or gifts and only few of them had the courtesy to thank the brides parents who had invited and spent heavily. Is this typical Mexican customs? I felt sorry for the newly wed couple.
No, it is not the "normal" Mexican way!

Mexican culture is all about giving and giving again (nowadays we are still giving up territory to foreigners) heck is easier to open your house to any foreigner and provide food and shelter for free with nothing in return because hosting a foreigner is kind of "special".

The situation you describe is very atypical, but I can imagine 4 things, one could be that the groom probably in accordance with the bride decided and asked the groom's family to come "no matter what" that could mean without gifts or even enough money, earning Mexican pesos (even with a good job) is not the same as spending Swiss francs. The second thing maybe is that they will have another weeding in Mexico and then there, the groom's family will give everything and spent heavily. A third option probably is the "cultural shock" that sometimes can render you silent and paralysed it depends on the person and because in most Mexican families we follow one or two persons (as the matriarch or patriarch) we then tend to behave like them more if the situation is bizarre and trust me coming from Mexico to Swiss it feels like traveling to the future in a good way but still one needs to adapt. A fourth option could be that the groom family will give something else (probably in Mexico) or already gave, like a house or they are waiting to sell this "house" and give the money to the couple, it could be that they already got Mexican presents.

Still, there is the possibility that there were no presents from the groom's family at all and this is not what normally happens... there must be a reason or reasons.

Language is also a problem, both spoken and body language. Most of Mexicans only speak (Mexican) Spanish and the next common language is English but it is not true that the majority is bilingual only if the groom's family is from the north part of Mexico this could be probably the case. So as you can imagine, this makes communication difficult.

Please do not be mad or disappointed to Mexicans, there are situations out of our control!
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Old 05.10.2015, 11:59
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Re: Mexican-Swiss Wedding

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No, it is not the "normal" Mexican way!

Mexican culture is all about giving and giving again (nowadays we are still giving up territory to foreigners) heck is easier to open your house to any foreigner and provide food and shelter for free with nothing in return because hosting a foreigner is kind of "special".

The situation you describe is very atypical, but I can imagine 4 things, one could be that the groom probably in accordance with the bride decided and asked the groom's family to come "no matter what" that could mean without gifts or even enough money, earning Mexican pesos (even with a good job) is not the same as spending Swiss francs. The second thing maybe is that they will have another weeding in Mexico and then there, the groom's family will give everything and spent heavily. A third option probably is the "cultural shock" that sometimes can render you silent and paralysed it depends on the person and because in most Mexican families we follow one or two persons (as the matriarch or patriarch) we then tend to behave like them more if the situation is bizarre and trust me coming from Mexico to Swiss it feels like traveling to the future in a good way but still one needs to adapt. A fourth option could be that the groom family will give something else (probably in Mexico) or already gave, like a house or they are waiting to sell this "house" and give the money to the couple, it could be that they already got Mexican presents.

Still, there is the possibility that there were no presents from the groom's family at all and this is not what normally happens... there must be a reason or reasons.

Language is also a problem, both spoken and body language. Most of Mexicans only speak (Mexican) Spanish and the next common language is English but it is not true that the majority is bilingual only if the groom's family is from the north part of Mexico this could be probably the case. So as you can imagine, this makes communication difficult.

Please do not be mad or disappointed to Mexicans, there are situations out of our control!
I agree with most of your statement, except the red part. Lots of states in center and south of Mexico are bilinguals because their main source of income is Tourism.

To add to the main question of OP, In my experience, my Mexican friends who got married here subscribed to online gift shops and so the people from Mexico (and friends all over the world) could send their gifts without carrying it under the arm while traveling and also it would be kinda stressful to come to a country they don't know, with a language they don't speak and go gift shopping right before the wedding.
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Old 05.10.2015, 12:15
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Re: Mexican-Swiss Wedding

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I attended a Mexican (Groom) Swiss (Bride) wedding in Switzerland. All the brides guests brought presents and cards with cash for the couple. The grooms guests, family and friends came empty handed, no cards or gifts and only few of them had the courtesy to thank the brides parents who had invited and spent heavily. Is this typical Mexican customs? I felt sorry for the newly wed couple.
A couple of thoughts.
Good thing you don't know me!
If I invite people to come to anything I am organising, I want to see them, to spend time with them and I want them to enjoy some occasion with me. Full stop. And I am absolutely capable of turning up at events empty-handed, even when I know other guests will bring gifts.
I remember a mother of a Brit married to a Swiss saying that she couldn't visit her daughter in Switzerland as she couldn't afford to bring presents for the whole family. How very, very sad.
'Came empty-handed', 'only few of them had the courtesy to thank the bride's parents'
Did the couple tell you this? Or the bride's parents?
Sometimes I much prefer to write a letter afterwards saying how much I enjoyed myself and how much appreciated an invitation rather than battling my way through to the host and hostess only to stumble over words having an insufficient vocabulary to express my feeling - with everyone else listening.
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Old 05.10.2015, 12:53
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Re: Mexican-Swiss Wedding

When i got married (Brit/Swiss) most of our Swiss friends gave us money or gift vouchers.

One couple (Swiss) did say to me a few weeks later that they was shocked my family did not give us money.

I soon put them in their place in explaining that my family took the time to think about us and ask us what we needed or wanted. And bought us expensive gifts. Also, that my parents spent a great deal on the meal and wine that they enjoyed on the day. Whereas my husband's family didn't even offer to pay for the bleeding cake!!

It only lasted 3 years. But i still have some of the pressies i got from my family, the money is long gone.

Also, don't forget that some people have to travel. Not just jump in their cars and drive for half an hour.

The Mexico wedding will probably be much more fun than a Swiss one!!
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Old 05.10.2015, 13:32
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Re: Mexican-Swiss Wedding

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I agree with most of your statement, except the red part. Lots of states in center and south of Mexico are bilinguals because their main source of income is Tourism.

To add to the main question of OP, In my experience, my Mexican friends who got married here subscribed to online gift shops and so the people from Mexico (and friends all over the world) could send their gifts without carrying it under the arm while traveling and also it would be kinda stressful to come to a country they don't know, with a language they don't speak and go gift shopping right before the wedding.
Some people in the center and south of Mexico may speak English and yes most of the time they do work in the tourism sector or for a transnational company or live in a big city (Guadalajara, D.F., Monterrey) but it is not true that outside these areas you will easily find bilingual people. My family is about 300 hundred people only the side of my mom and they do live mostly in the center and south of Mexico how many are bilingual? No more than 20 people it is sad and IMO, we need English and Nahuatl to be compulsory in our public education but that is not the case as of today.

Here is a newspaper article, stating that only 5% of the population in Mexico speaks English, 5% of 120 million people :

http://www.elfinanciero.com.mx/econo...gles-imco.html

And here is some data from EF:

http://www.ef.com.mx/epi/spotlights/...merica/mexico/

As much as I would like that my country was truly bilingual or trilingual it is not the case yet, we still need much work to do!

The north part of the country has the advantage that many can work in the US crossing daily the border thus they learn English by necessity.

Regards!
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Old 05.10.2015, 14:06
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Re: Mexican-Swiss Wedding

Maybe their presence is the gift? If they have to fly in from mexico, I suppose they have to spend about 1000 per person.
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Old 05.10.2015, 14:40
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Re: Mexican-Swiss Wedding

OP, what you are capable to observe is only a tiny fraction of everything that happens. And even what you actually take note of may well be misinterpreted.

To add to the above:
It may be that the swiss "branch" (bride, her parents, whoever) paid for a significant portion of the travel costs, simply to enable the mexican "branch" to attend the wedding in the first place. If this scenario even somewhat applied: How would it make sense for them to bring expensive presents or cash when they can't even afford the full travel costs? Would make no sense to me.
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Old 05.10.2015, 14:46
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Re: Mexican-Swiss Wedding

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I agree with most of your statement, except the red part. Lots of states in center and south of Mexico are bilinguals because their main source of income is Tourism.

To add to the main question of OP, In my experience, my Mexican friends who got married here subscribed to online gift shops and so the people from Mexico (and friends all over the world) could send their gifts without carrying it under the arm while traveling and also it would be kinda stressful to come to a country they don't know, with a language they don't speak and go gift shopping right before the wedding.
How many portuguese, how many spaniards (who still live in their country) are bi- or multilingual?

Share of the respective nation economy:
Spain 11%
Portugal 10.5%
Mexico 8.2%
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Old 05.10.2015, 15:10
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Re: Mexican-Swiss Wedding

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I felt sorry for the newly wed couple.
Should I say "welcome to the EF"? Or did you feel compelled to create an (another) account here to express your disappointment?
Well, I find sad that that you jumped to this conclusion: "I felt sorry for the newly wed couple", without trying to know the facts. There can be so many variables at stake, as already mentioned...

I can just second this, too:
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If I invite people to come to anything I am organising, I want to see them, to spend time with them and I want them to enjoy some occasion with me. Full stop. And I am absolutely capable of turning up at events empty-handed, even when I know other guests will bring gifts.
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Old 05.10.2015, 19:18
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Re: Mexican-Swiss Wedding

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I attended a Mexican (Groom) Swiss (Bride) wedding in Switzerland. All the brides guests brought presents and cards with cash for the couple. The grooms guests, family and friends came empty handed, no cards or gifts and only few of them had the courtesy to thank the brides parents who had invited and spent heavily. Is this typical Mexican customs? I felt sorry for the newly wed couple.
I am not familiar with Mexican wedding customs, but I can assure you that in some parts of the world, showing up at a wedding with voluminous gifts and even cash in hand is considered extremely tacky - IF people want to give a gift (and let's say it, for international weddings, our guests' presence is gift enough) all is done in advance via very efficient online gift registry, bank wires, charity donation registry, etc.

In my country we say "a gift is always welcome", but if someone showed up with a voluminous gift at my wedding, it would end up at my parents' house, because sure as heck I am not shipping it across the world.
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Old 05.10.2015, 20:05
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Re: Mexican-Swiss Wedding

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I attended a Mexican (Groom) Swiss (Bride) wedding in Switzerland. All the brides guests brought presents and cards with cash for the couple. The grooms guests, family and friends came empty handed, no cards or gifts and only few of them had the courtesy to thank the brides parents who had invited and spent heavily. Is this typical Mexican customs? I felt sorry for the newly wed couple.
Do you feel sorry even if the groom possibly and sensibly said to them they do not expect to be sponsored?

Whaddup these days with all those baby showers, wedding registries, and all the other elaborate ways to make cash of other people. I do nor really know anyone who would rely on gifts, I am personally happy if somebody just simply comes to see me or sends a card.

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Old 05.10.2015, 20:58
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Re: Mexican-Swiss Wedding

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I attended a Mexican (Groom) Swiss (Bride) wedding in Switzerland. All the brides guests brought presents and cards with cash for the couple. The grooms guests, family and friends came empty handed, no cards or gifts and only few of them had the courtesy to thank the brides parents who had invited and spent heavily. Is this typical Mexican customs? I felt sorry for the newly wed couple.
OP, is this first post of yours on EF for real or....?

Suppose this is for real
- how do you know they came empty handed (they could have given their presents before the actual wedding, as I think it's fair to assume they didn't come to the party directly from the airport)
- since when is a wedding a competition between his guests and her guests?
- if they came from such a long distance....consider it a gift.
- and most important, why do you feel sorry for the newly wed couple?
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