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  #41  
Old 29.10.2015, 09:45
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Re: Feeling lonely

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What after 6 years?



haha so funny lets all laugh
What? It`s imagine how it is to feel like you (how you posted in your header) after being here 6 years . . . . that`s what it may be like for some people.
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  #42  
Old 29.10.2015, 10:00
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Re: Feeling lonely

I moved to Switzerland about two weeks ago. I understand how you are feeling.
I go for walks and i am making an effort with others i come across.
I find the swiss people very nice but sadly its just not home. I wish you the best of luck.
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  #43  
Old 29.10.2015, 10:05
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Re: Feeling lonely

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What after 6 years?



haha so funny lets all laugh
reverse psychology. works every time!
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  #44  
Old 29.10.2015, 10:18
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Re: Feeling lonely

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... with Mr. MathNut ...
Who's that!?!

Does DB know about him or does he know about DB?!
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  #45  
Old 29.10.2015, 10:32
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Re: Feeling lonely

I've been back in Switzerland about a year and a half now and I'm still lonely. I am so thankful that I already knew so people here, or I would be totally lost. Unfortunately, "my people" are all in Bern and I'm up here in Zurich, but at least we see each other on the weekends.

I've not really made friends here in Zurich. Though I think that could possibly be due to my resting bitch face, and the fact that I give off a sort of bitch vibe to boot (or so I'm told). I'm actually not a bitch, at least not often.

I'm really just shy which isn't helpful here in Zurich.
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  #46  
Old 29.10.2015, 10:40
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Re: Feeling lonely

It takes years to get your feet under the table. It isn't going to happen in two months. And you won't get anywhere by complaining about it: the only effective cure is to go out.


You don't even have to go out with people. Just go out. Go for a walk. Go to a nice cafe. Eat ice cream. Eat schnitzels. Look at the animals in the zoo. Go swimming. Take a train to nowhere in particular. Look out of the window. Sit on a park bench. Take a boat ride. Whatever. Just go out.


Even when you meet people, the chances are that you just won't click with most of them. I doubt there are more than a handful of people in the entire country who share your interests and outlook. That doesn't matter - people are still interesting even if they have nothing in common with you at all. And if you don't find them interesting, there are other people.


Gradually, over the years, if you offer good company to people, you'll gather a group of friends whose company you enjoy in return. It might only be a small group of one or two, or it might be an enormous octopus of social wonderfulness that stretches across the city of Zurich, over the Roestigraben and into the dark reaches of the Welschland. Either way, you won't be lonely any more.


But, with echoes of the advice in the McDonalds thread, you have to do something to make it all happen.


So go out. Go out now. It's the only way forward.
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  #47  
Old 29.10.2015, 10:41
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Re: Feeling lonely

Patsycat will tell you to start smoking so that you can hang outside around pubs in the cold and meet "new friends".

(This statement was not sponsored by Philip Morris or Imperial Tobacco).
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  #48  
Old 29.10.2015, 10:42
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Re: Feeling lonely

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I've been back in Switzerland about a year and a half now and I'm still lonely. I am so thankful that I already knew so people here, or I would be totally lost. Unfortunately, "my people" are all in Bern and I'm up here in Zurich, but at least we see each other on the weekends.

I've not really made friends here in Zurich. Though I think that could possibly be due to my resting bitch face, and the fact that I give off a sort of bitch vibe to boot (or so I'm told). I'm actually not a bitch, at least not often.

I'm really just shy which isn't helpful here in Zurich.
Well its same with me, im shy first 5 min after that im like i know you forever. And im very very funny person and i get along easy with people.

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I think it is hard to admit you're lonely. Two months is no time when you're new somewhere. I agree with the previous poster saying go to classes. Not just German but cooking, a craft, sport or something you're interested in. Look at what goes on locally where you live. Outdoor things are easier to go to than pubs or bars on your own, eg christmas fairs will be coming up soon.
People have their head phones on, faces down etc these days & tend to react like you're a lunatic or pick pocket if you speak to them waiting for the tram or in shops. Maybe look for an online Swiss gay site rather than expressing yourself here on a general site where there will be people who can't relate to your lifestyle to find a bit more compassion. In terms of being an expat, it can take years to actually feel at home & some people never do.
There is no gay site in ch, and even if it was its all old woman. And i dont need gay person to hang out. I just wanna have friend i dont care what he or she is.
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  #49  
Old 29.10.2015, 10:43
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Re: Feeling lonely

To everybody that feel lonely in Zürich, come and meet people on Wednesdays in the German Group Discussion.
We are so many that for sure you'll find someone that you identify with.
Cheers
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  #50  
Old 29.10.2015, 10:50
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Re: Feeling lonely

I imagine it is easier these days than in the past if you're lonely as you can go online & "talk" to a bunch of strangers any time of day or night. It must have been worse pre-internet.
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  #51  
Old 29.10.2015, 10:53
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Re: Feeling lonely

http://www.meetup.com/cities/ch/z%C3%BCrich/

Seriously, just get out there and meet people already. There is lots on.
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  #52  
Old 29.10.2015, 11:00
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Re: Feeling lonely

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I imagine it is easier these days than in the past if you're lonely as you can go online & "talk" to a bunch of strangers any time of day or night. It must have been worse pre-internet.
You know how is it, its just where i come from people dont tend to go alone in bars or pubs or do some activitiys. So its hard when you go alone somewhere, everyone knows each other and you just sit alone

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http://www.meetup.com/cities/ch/z%C3%BCrich/

Seriously, just get out there and meet people already. There is lots on.
But there is no jung people on there all 30+. What im gona do with someone who is 35?
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  #53  
Old 29.10.2015, 11:02
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Re: Feeling lonely

I am in awe of people who can just walk in and introduce themselves to a large group of people. I can't get my head around it.

I made it out to the Bern Dinner one time. Thankfully there were only about 8 of us, but still. I was akward and uncomfortable. Not because anything they did, they were all really nice, but because it's just not me.
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  #54  
Old 29.10.2015, 11:04
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Re: Feeling lonely

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I am in awe of people who can just walk in and introduce themselves to a large group of people. I can't get my head around it.

I made it out to the Bern Dinner one time. Thankfully there were only about 8 of us, but still. I was akward and uncomfortable. Not because anything they did, they were all really nice, but because it's just not me.
Yes i totaly agree with you. If i had someone to go with it would be no problem.
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Old 29.10.2015, 11:17
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Re: Feeling lonely

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But there is no jung people on there all 30+. What im gona do with someone who is 35?
Ok listen, I will be really very honest with you here. Your way of posting and writing is very awkward, and if you somehow think that because someone is 30-35 means you can't talk to them then you really need to wise up a little and learn some (basic) social skills. I'm now making the logical step guessing your attitude in person is also a little awkward.


My friends group ranges from 24-53, and if you discriminate against people based simply on stupid pre-defined age ranges then you will never meet people worth meeting. Join Internations, Meetup and Glocals and just go to events and talk to people. Otherwise, please stop with complaining about how you're never going to meet anyone when you have received good suggestions and the real problem clearly lies in your own head.


Plenty of people go to expat events alone, it is how you meet people, and if you send a message to the organisers then they will often make a special effort to make you comfortable introduce you to people.

Last edited by Richdog; 29.10.2015 at 11:59.
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  #56  
Old 29.10.2015, 11:17
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Re: Feeling lonely

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I am in awe of people who can just walk in and introduce themselves to a large group of people. I can't get my head around it.

I made it out to the Bern Dinner one time. Thankfully there were only about 8 of us, but still. I was akward and uncomfortable. Not because anything they did, they were all really nice, but because it's just not me.

I'm very good at walking up to anyone or a group and introduce myself to them. Unfortunately in Switzerland it always ends up in: "who is he?", "Is he talking to us?", "what a weirdo", "Creeper".

Interestingly enough, this only happens in Switzerland, never have an issue in other countries.
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  #57  
Old 29.10.2015, 11:22
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Re: Feeling lonely

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But there is no jung people on there all 30+. What im gona do with someone who is 35?
Well then find your nearest youth club, all anybody here is doing, is trying to help, but you are so stuck in negativity. You haven't said what your interests are, what you like to do. There are plenty of ways to meet people, but you have to want to do it. What are you going to do with someone over 30? Have a conversation, go to a Museum. How old are you, 16? You sound very immature anyway.
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Old 29.10.2015, 11:22
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Re: Feeling lonely

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Ok listen, I will be really very honest with you here. Your way of posting and writing is very awkward, and if you somehow think that because someone is 30-35 means you can't talk to them then you really need to get a clue and learn some (basic) social skills. I'm now making the logical step guessing your attitude in person is also a little awkward.


My friends group ranges from 24-53, and if you discriminate against people based simply on stupid pre-defined age ranges then you will never meet people worth meeting. Join Internations, Meetup and Glocals and just go to events and talk to people. Otherwise, please stop with complaining about how you're never going to meet anyone when you have received good suggestions and the real problem clearly lies in your own head.

Well im a little bit awkward but not in a crazy way, i always tend to cover it with my good sence of humor. But do you understand where i come from is not like that i never had friend who is 5 years older than me. And im not some crazy weirdo. Its just how im. I dont have that adittude to come and random talk to people.
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  #59  
Old 29.10.2015, 11:23
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Re: Feeling lonely

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I'm very good at walking up to anyone or a group and introduce myself to them. Unfortunately in Switzerland it always ends up in: "who is he?", "Is he talking to us?", "what a weirdo", "Creeper".

Interestingly enough, this only happens in Switzerland, never have an issue in other countries.
I think that this is exactly why I have such reservations. I spent my teenager years in Switzerland before moving back to Toronto. Swiss are skilled at excluding People and I was burned a few times before kinda giving up. Unfortunatly, it's stuck with me.
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Old 29.10.2015, 11:26
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Re: Feeling lonely

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Patsycat will tell you to start smoking so that you can hang outside around pubs in the cold and meet "new friends".

(This statement was not sponsored by Philip Morris or Imperial Tobacco).
That's a great idea - I hear you can also do the same thing on station platforms in the morning. (Can of M-budget Energy drink is optional)
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