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Old 02.11.2015, 19:10
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Rights of a future father

Good evening all,

I am looking for some information about legal rights of a future father. Up until now I have only been able to find information for the mother.

My wife is expecting a baby and my employer has refused my request to go to any scans based on the fact that I have recently been absent from work, on 2 occassions, for 2 days and 3 days respectively (a visit to hospital on each occassion along with, of course, a doctor's note).

Is there anything I can do?

Today I missed the all important 20 week scan - I can not express my disappointment and anger at this.

Any help would be much appreciated.
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Old 02.11.2015, 19:14
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Re: Rights of a future father

For each of my 3 pregnancies, my hubby had to take time off his yearly paid leave if he wanted to come with me to an OB exam. And for the actual birth, he got only 1 day off, which is the minimum required by law.

I'm all for a paternity leave when the baby is born, but honestly I don't see why the tax payer (or the company) should pay for time off when your wife is being examined... I mean, an ultrasound isn't exactly the event of the century, all babies look alike on screen
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Old 02.11.2015, 19:18
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Re: Rights of a future father

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I'm all for a paternity leave when the baby is born, but honestly I don't see why the tax payer (or the company) should pay for time off when your wife is being examined... I mean, an ultrasound isn't exactly the event of the century, all babies look alike on screen
Believe me, the first glimpse of your own child (especially the first one) in an ultrasound is just as important and gut-wrenchingly momentous for the father as it is for the mother.

OP, I feel for you. Unfortunately I think you're going to have to play ball with your employer, especially if you want a little leeway after your child is born. Once you have your baby in your arms, you'll value that time far more than the time required to attend the ultrasound.

Good luck with everything, and I hope the 20-week scan went well!
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Old 02.11.2015, 19:24
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Re: Rights of a future father

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Believe me, the first glimpse of your own child (especially the first one) in an ultrasound is just as important and gut-wrenchingly momentous for the father as it is for the mother.
No, it isn't.

Tom
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Old 02.11.2015, 19:24
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Re: Rights of a future father

I guess that after 3 kids I'm getting a bit blasé

When I took my eldest to see his little brother's scan, he complained to the doc that she was moving too much to let him see properly, and he was disappointed the picture was in black and white
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Old 02.11.2015, 19:25
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Re: Rights of a future father

Dear Halc - I really feel for you. I don't have any legal info, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry this situation occurred. Have you perhaps contacted your company's HR dept? Can you find out if this this standard practice, or the actions of a single person? Surely if you had leave available, you were entitled to put in for the time off?


Melusine - I'm sorry, I couldn't disagree with you more. Babies are unique and I don't think that your rather off-hand remark was terribly helpful. Particularly if this is a first child.


Not sure why the "Quote" button isn't working...

Last edited by RufusB; 02.11.2015 at 19:27. Reason: Typo
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Old 02.11.2015, 19:25
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Re: Rights of a future father

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... my employer has refused my request to go to any scans based on the fact that I have recently been absent from work, on 2 occassions, for 2 days and 3 days respectively (a visit to hospital on each occassion along with, of course, a doctor's note)....
Which of these were you wanting:
1) Use your holiday allowance
2) Use your flexi-time balance to go to the scans
3) Take agreed time off that you would make up at another time
4) Just have the time off out of your normal working day with no salary adjustment?
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Old 02.11.2015, 19:26
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Re: Rights of a future father

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No, it isn't.

Tom




Oh, bah humbug!
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Old 02.11.2015, 19:30
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Re: Rights of a future father

Let me add a little more detail:

- This is not my first child and I was allowed to attend scans previously.
- I am in education and therefore do not have a choice of holiday (but yes I do have loads;-)
- Other male members of staff, with pregnant wives at the same time as me, have been allowed to attend scans.

Also remember I am being punished for being off work, due to illness, earlier in the year!

Mélusine, imagine that at today's 20 week scan, my wife had been told of heart defects, growth defects etc. Would you have wanted to receive that news on your own?
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Old 02.11.2015, 19:35
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Re: Rights of a future father

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Let me add a little more detail:

- This is not my first child and I was allowed to attend scans previously.
- I am in education and therefore do not have a choice of holiday (but yes I do have loads;-)
- Other male members of staff, with pregnant wives at the same time as me, have been allowed to attend scans.

Also remember I am being punished for being off work, due to illness, earlier in the year!


In the UK, because when you work in Education there's no wriggle room for holidays/moving house/letting the plumber or electrician in/funerals etc therefore school management (for that read the Head Teacher) would be able to use their discretion for allowing staff time off for important events.


The very fact that other male staff members have been allowed to go to their scans and you haven't does seem unfair. Particularly as you do have notes for your previous absences.


There should be no suggestion of refusing to let you attend such an important even as "punishment". Did you ask if this is the sole reason? Any illness you had can not be reasonably linked to the gestation of your child! Are there Unions here? You could take advice there perhaps?

Last edited by RufusB; 02.11.2015 at 19:50.
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Old 02.11.2015, 20:03
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Re: Rights of a future father

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Let me add a little more detail:

- This is not my first child and I was allowed to attend scans previously.
- I am in education and therefore do not have a choice of holiday (but yes I do have loads;-)
- Other male members of staff, with pregnant wives at the same time as me, have been allowed to attend scans.

Also remember I am being punished for being off work, due to illness, earlier in the year!

Mélusine, imagine that at today's 20 week scan, my wife had been told of heart defects, growth defects etc. Would you have wanted to receive that news on your own?
Will you also expect to get time off for each and every pediatric exam, all the check-ups, and so on?!

My husband and I both work full time, albeit me during the day and he at night, so that we can organize our family life. Sometimes I'm the one in charge of the kids' various health and school appointments, and sometimes it's him.

I do not expect my husband to tag along with me, and I'm not a little fragile thing who needs protecting against bad news.

I actually got pretty bad news about my daughter recently. I was alone with her and the doctor, and we then spoke about it at home with my husband.
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Old 02.11.2015, 20:26
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Re: Rights of a future father

I think we have lost focus here. I simply want to know if there is anything I can do to help my cause.

I would like to attend 1 of the scans for my unborn child, during the 9 months of pregnancy.
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Old 02.11.2015, 20:30
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Re: Rights of a future father

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I think we have lost focus here. I simply want to know if there is anything I can do to help my cause.

I would like to attend 1 of the scans for my unborn child, during the 9 months of pregnancy.
Why can't you just book a day or a half day of holiday?
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Old 02.11.2015, 20:33
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Re: Rights of a future father

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I think we have lost focus here. I simply want to know if there is anything I can do to help my cause.

I would like to attend 1 of the scans for my unborn child, during the 9 months of pregnancy.
Ask the obstetrician if you can book one of the scans for the next scheduled holiday or a Saturday morning.
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Old 02.11.2015, 20:33
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Re: Rights of a future father

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Why can't you just book a day or a half day of holiday?
I'm in Education. It doesn't work like that
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Old 02.11.2015, 20:41
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Re: Rights of a future father

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I'm in Education. It doesn't work like that
Then it's fairly obvious why you can't get the time off........... Your in education & are needed to give lessons.
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Old 02.11.2015, 20:42
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Re: Rights of a future father

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Ask the obstetrician if you can book one of the scans for the next scheduled holiday or a Saturday morning.
It's a great suggestion of course but the supply and demand for appointments in our area is crazy. There is also not much flexibilty on dates (either side of each next monthly scan). They also don't work Saturdays or Wednesday afternoons. To-date, appointments after work hours have been non-existent.

We have 4 scans left, you never know, 1 might be possible after work. I've got my fingers crossed.
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Old 02.11.2015, 20:43
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Re: Rights of a future father

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Then it's fairly obvious why you can't get the time off........... Your in education & are needed to give lessons.
Educating the masses.
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Old 02.11.2015, 21:04
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Re: Rights of a future father

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It's a great suggestion of course but the supply and demand for appointments in our area is crazy.
You need to push it a little. Teachers aren't going to get much sympathy for being unable to take time off when they get 3 times as much holiday as everybody else. What may invite some sympathy is the lack of flexibility with those holidays.

Does the obs know your circumstances? If not, make a point of mentioning it.

It's worth a try, surely?
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Old 02.11.2015, 21:04
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Re: Rights of a future father

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I'm in Education. It doesn't work like that
I work in education myself, and I can take time off, providing I either provide a substitute or agree to work a few extra hours when needed. You can also take 2 hours off, and get a salary cut at the end of the month.
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