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Old 07.02.2016, 12:24
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The thought of life with no kids.

Heaven maybe or simply a quiet emptiness. One thing fore sure patience can be pushed to it's limits!
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Old 07.02.2016, 12:27
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

Care to giver some context?
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Old 07.02.2016, 12:28
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

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Heaven maybe or simply a quiet emptiness. One thing fore sure patience can be pushed to it's limits!
Beyond the limits...!

So what's the secret of well behaved children?
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Old 07.02.2016, 12:31
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

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Beyond the limits...!

So what's the secret of well behaved children?
Codeine
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Old 07.02.2016, 12:44
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

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Heaven maybe or simply a quiet emptiness. One thing fore sure patience can be pushed to it's limits!
Just one of those things. We weren't blessed, but I can't say I felt/feel particularly sad about not having kids. And seeing the continuing family squabbles/problems my cousin in America has had with kids and grandkids over the years perhaps it's better not to have any.
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Old 07.02.2016, 12:52
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

The OP reads like it was written by a stressed-out parent, so I'll answer based on that assumption.

Ask any parent whose kids have left the nest. You might feel overwhelmed right now, but once they are on their own you will miss them and the noise/life/insanity they brought to your day.

As someone who doesn't have kids yet, I'll tell you it is quiet. Sure, we can take vacations whenever and wherever we want. Our free time is our own and not filled with soccer practice or dance lessons or whatever. But we see the world through our jaded adult eyes and not the wonder and curiosity of a child. I think kids help keep you young. There is something missing for us, and we look forward to the joy and chaos a child or children will bring to our lives.

Of course if we're fortunate enough to become parents, someone will have to quote this back to me a few years down the road when I am at my wits end.
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Old 07.02.2016, 12:59
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

Some hell years till they're about 4, then it's marvellous till they reach teenagehood, then it's the empty nest syndrome, then you look back and ask yourself: where has the time gone?
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Old 07.02.2016, 12:59
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

Can't imagine my life without my kids. They are already teenagers and more independent but we already miss the time when they were much younger.
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Old 07.02.2016, 13:08
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

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Some hell years till they're about 4, then it's marvellous till they reach teenagehood, then it's the empty nest syndrome, then you look back and ask yourself: where has the time gone?
Indeed - one minute they have flown the nest but Mctavge, they do sometimes return!!!( One of mine coming back next week) ...
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Old 07.02.2016, 13:14
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

I sometimes regret not having children. Sounds weird, but I would have loved to have experienced pregnancy, but not sure I could have coped with all the years after that.
It would have been nice to see a little mini me or mini hubby running around, but that is no reason to have children.
I am a step-mum to my husband's grown-up son and daughter, and an auntie to four (one adult and three rapidly growing up) nieces and nephews, so I am very blessed. I do miss them though.
I would say enjoy them, whether they are being little angels or little devils, they will be off into the big wide world before you know it.
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Old 07.02.2016, 13:17
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

For me and this is solely based on the current situation, because who knows, maybe my opinion will change in the future...I absolutely don't want any kids. Kids are like a cellphone contract for life..there is no buyout clause. I see far too many people getting pressured into having kids by their spouse, cultural or societal norms. A couple of years later, the family is miserable...money is tight, the kid is an ass and the wife is screwing your best-friend whenever you have those late conf. calls at work (where you're basically screwing Betsy, the ugly spinster part-time office assistant who couldn't get married if she wanted to..but hey, at least she gives head, right?). There is a particular reason, why the average duration of a marriage is around 14.5 years...that's when little Billy is starting to become more independent and you won't have to walk him to the bus stop every time he needs one of the new figurines (which seem to come in more color variations than a VW Beetle during a hippie convention in the 70s - of course, Billy needs to have every single one of the figurines, because his best friend Bobby has 7 more of them, which means that Bobby's dad makes more money than you...which really means that Bobby's dad has a bigger weenie. You decide that this is unacceptable and because you're the world's greatest dad (it says so on the "awesome" Bday gimmick shirt you received last year) you want to make Billy happy and prevent your wife from screwing Bobby's dad and hence you're in conflict. You either mortgage the house or sell a kidney)....I may have gotten a little off track here, but you get the jest. People with kids tend to be miserable, broke and tired...now that doesn't apply to everybody but a great many seem to be.
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Old 07.02.2016, 13:22
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

The thought of not having children genuinely frightens me.

I can't imagine anything more amazing your own raising a child to be a better person than you are, to help them shape a destiny and help them to be whatever they want to be. Ok fine, I am speaking from the perspective of someone who has a lot of gorgeous kids in their family but even so, if I can be as good a father to my kids as my father has been to me then I will consider myself a lucky man.

Plus, who wants to get old without a loving family and cheeky grand-children around them causing chaos and mayhem? I can't imagine anything more depressing than not having that in your life as you enter your twilight years.

Of course the best of plans can go belly up, and things may turn out different to the ideal you have in your mind (divorce, tragedy, etc etc you name it), but the above is my ultimate goal in life.

I think the biggest mistake people often make is marrying and having kids too early, and I am so glad it didn't happen at a time before I had a chance to develop myself and my career or to travel and see what the world has to offer... I have made a lot of mistakes and learnt a lot along the way, and I can only see that as a benefit.

Last edited by Richdog; 07.02.2016 at 14:00.
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Old 07.02.2016, 13:26
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

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I sometimes regret not having children. Sounds weird, but I would have loved to have experienced pregnancy, but not sure I could have coped with all the years after that.
Sometimes pregnancy is hell on wheels though. But you don't know until after. Just like all things baby/child like, you don't know if you're going to have a sweet helpful child who cooks at 8 (I saw them on masterchef jr, who knew it was possible!) or a troublemaker. You can't pick your kids like your mate, and a little harder to replace than a mate
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Old 07.02.2016, 13:30
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

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For me and this is solely based on the current situation, because who knows, maybe my opinion will change in the future...I absolutely don't want any kids. Kids are like a cellphone contract for life..there is no buyout clause. I see far too many people getting pressured into having kids by their spouse, cultural or societal norms. A couple of years later, the family is miserable...money is tight, the kid is an ass and the wife is screwing your best-friend whenever you have those late conf. calls at work (where you're basically screwing Betsy, the ugly spinster part-time office assistant who couldn't get married if she wanted to..but hey, at least she gives head, right?). There is a particular reason, why the average duration of a marriage is around 14.5 years...that's when little Billy is starting to become more independent and you won't have to walk him to the bus stop every time he needs one of the new figurines (which seem to come in more color variations than a VW Beetle during a hippie convention in the 70s - of course, Billy needs to have every single one of the figurines, because his best friend Bobby has 7 more of them, which means that Bobby's dad makes more money than you...which really means that Bobby's dad has a bigger weenie. You decide that this is unacceptable and because you're the world's greatest dad (it says so on the "awesome" Bday gimmick shirt you received last year) you want to make Billy happy and prevent your wife from screwing Bobby's dad and hence you're in conflict. You either mortgage the house or sell a kidney)....I may have gotten a little off track here, but you get the jest. People with kids tend to be miserable, broke and tired...now that doesn't apply to everybody but a great many seem to be.
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Old 07.02.2016, 13:42
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

Richdog I think we are complete opposites.....

I remember at 23 asking the doctor if I was too young to be sterilized (of course he said yes) I always knew I didn't want children and at 46 I have no regrets at all.
My home is always tidy, I don't have to think about anyone apart from my husband when making plans, no school holidays to plan trips around.... blah blah blah....

When I'm old and need care I plan to be on a beach in Thailand receiving massages...

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The thought of not having children genuinely frightens me.

I can't imagine anything more amazing your own raising a child to be a better person than you are, to help them shape a destiny and help them to be whatever they want to be. Ok fine, I am speaking from the perspective of someone who has a lot of gorgeous kids in their family but even so, if I can be as good a father to my kids as my father has been to me then I will consider myself a lucky man.

Plus, who wants to get old without a loving family and cheeky grand-children around them causing chaos and mayhem? I can't imagine anything more depressing than not having that in your life as you enter your twilight years.

Of course the best of plans can go belly up, and things may turn out different to the ideal you have in your mind (divorce, tragedy, etc et you name it), but the above is my ultimate goal in life.

I think the biggest mistake people often make is marrying and having kids too early, and I am so glad it didn't happen at a time before I had a chance to develop myself and my career or to travel and see what the world has to offer... I have made a lot of mistakes and learnt a lot along the way, and I can only see that as a benefit.
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Old 07.02.2016, 13:47
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

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For me and this is solely based on the current situation, because who knows, maybe my opinion will change in the future...I absolutely don't want any kids. Kids are like a cellphone contract for life..there is no buyout clause. I see far too many people getting pressured into having kids by their spouse, cultural or societal norms. A couple of years later, the family is miserable...money is tight, the kid is an ass and the wife is screwing your best-friend whenever you have those late conf. calls at work (where you're basically screwing Betsy, the ugly spinster part-time office assistant who couldn't get married if she wanted to..but hey, at least she gives head, right?). There is a particular reason, why the average duration of a marriage is around 14.5 years...that's when little Billy is starting to become more independent and you won't have to walk him to the bus stop every time he needs one of the new figurines (which seem to come in more color variations than a VW Beetle during a hippie convention in the 70s - of course, Billy needs to have every single one of the figurines, because his best friend Bobby has 7 more of them, which means that Bobby's dad makes more money than you...which really means that Bobby's dad has a bigger weenie. You decide that this is unacceptable and because you're the world's greatest dad (it says so on the "awesome" Bday gimmick shirt you received last year) you want to make Billy happy and prevent your wife from screwing Bobby's dad and hence you're in conflict. You either mortgage the house or sell a kidney)....I may have gotten a little off track here, but you get the jest. People with kids tend to be miserable, broke and tired...now that doesn't apply to everybody but a great many seem to be.
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Old 07.02.2016, 13:48
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

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Ask any parent whose kids have left the nest. You might feel overwhelmed right now, but once they are on their own you will miss them and the noise/life/insanity they brought to your day.
That assumes they do manage to. My cousin has had one or other of kids and grandkids living with her ever since they grew up. Still shares her home with her youngest daughter who's unemployed despite years of trying to find work she can do as she has Crohn's disease. Cousin is aged 91! Sometimes you just can't get rid of them.
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Old 07.02.2016, 13:50
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

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Richdog I think we are complete opposites.....

I remember at 23 asking the doctor if I was too young to be sterilized (of course he said yes) I always knew I didn't want children and at 46 I have no regrets at all.
My home is always tidy, I don't have to think about anyone apart from my husband when making plans, no school holidays to plan trips around.... blah blah blah....

When I'm old and need care I plan to be on a beach in Thailand receiving massages...
That's fine, I respect your choice even if I can't personally countenance it, and I don't think there is any right or wrong for individual situations. I will say with certainty that I would rather people who didn't want kids were more like you and simply didn't have them, rather than doing so regardless, making themselves miserable and raising an unhappy child.

While I can't predict what will happen, one of my greatest fears in life is having a kid with the wrong person or under the wrong circumstances and then having to live with those consequences for the rest of my life... I came close once and it really is my worst-case scenario. I have also seen the impact of a particularly nasty divorce and wouldn't wish it upon any child, which is why it's so important that I do it as right as humanly possible the first time.
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Old 07.02.2016, 14:01
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

As long as your doing what you want to do, it'll be fine. If you don't want kids, certainly don't have them because it's an astonishing amount of work. If you do then definetky, definetly do because if you are prepared for the effort, it's great.
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Old 07.02.2016, 14:03
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Re: The thought of life with no kids.

I never wanted children. I enjoyed freedom and disposable income.

With one daughter and a step daughter, not only can I not imagine life without them, I willingly take every financial decision thinking of them first.
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