Your path to the fridge might be restored with the help of Mr Hoover Nozzle, no?

I just dreamt last night about a biiiiig spider being on my bedroom wall. It was actually a nice beast, didn't scare me one bit. Now I am asking around, what does it mean to dream about spiders. I get some fun answers there

Just do not forget to stuff the end of the nozzle with some tissue after you suck it up. They will crawl back out. Little, or sometimes big buggers.

If you want to live and thrive, let a spider run alive. (Except the bitey ones!)

Wow Switzerland is turning to something like TEXAS!!!

Nice picture - and yes, I would agree that it looks like a Kreuzspinne. Never seen one indoors, actually (and thankfully! - I don't mind them outside on the bushes).

According to what I've just read; out of 950 species living in Switzerland, most of them are poisonous. However, only 5 to 7 can actually penetrate human skin. That should narrow it down a bit....

We are overrun with those gynormous kreuzy types - one made a magnificent web between our patio door and the mosquito net - bright idea I thought, for a spider.

My son refused to let me take the necessary action, preferring to keep it as a pet. This was fine until the postman came up the path this morning, and as the baby was sleeping, I opened the patio door rather than let him ring the bell, and stepped out..... I'm still pulling bits of web out of my hair, ears, nose, etc...

I was so expecting this story to go in another direction at this point...

hmm... now that you've mentioned it, yes, i can see it now. "spider bit me on the bum, and the good postman helped suck out the poison"

edit: btw DB, i desperately require unkle bertrand's assistance in the kebab thread

We are overrun with those gynormous kreuzy types - one made a magnificent web between our patio door and the mosquito net - bright idea I thought, for a spider.

My son refused to let me take the necessary action, preferring to keep it as a pet. This was fine until the postman came up the path this morning...whistling innocently, as he does every day, completely unaware of the horror which awaited him, lurking hideously in the shadows by the door, watching, waiting, hungry for sweet, succulent human flesh...

As the postman approached the door, I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye: My son's pet spider, swollen to monstrous proportions by a summerlong feast of mosquitoes, wasps and small kittens, lumbered ponderously down his web. I rushed forward, in the desperate hope of reaching the soon-to-be-martyred mailman before the spider could strike, but no! My son was there, quick as a Swiss to the front of a queue, elbowing me in the face to get the postman before me. I staggered backwards, hit my head on the sideboard, and remember nothing more.

When, eventually, I awoke, the spider was gone, all that remained of the postman was a small bundle of shredded, blood-stained cloth, and my son was sat there, devouring bluebottles, shrieking something about his 'master', wings, legs and little bits of eyes caked around his moist and sticky lips.

I haven't seen the spider since, though my neighbour came round this afternoon to ask if I'd seen his prize stallion, his dog and his wife (in that order), since he'd been missing all three since mid-morning.

My son is quite comfortable now, in the care of a good friend of mine, Dr Seward. The doctor assures me that, once he is able to procure the appropriate medical equipment (a stake, a crucifix and a string of garlic), my son should feel much better, and shouldn't give us any more trouble at all...