Having a Swiss partner I suppose I am lucky that I can get the general jist of who I should be on first name terms with but sometimes there is definitely a grey area.

For example; if we have a parents meeting with the teacher of my daughters kindergarten (all parents but without children) we can refer to her by her first name. If we have to call her we use Frau ...... If we are one to one without children present it seems first names are OK!

I should though refer to my landlord/lady by Herr/Frau ......... I'm told and it seems my boss too won't accept first name terms though in my experience he can call me what he likes.

My mechanic refers to me as Herr transition so I refer to him as Herr ...... too though it seems a bit strange now I know him well after 3 years of car advice/problem solving etc

Recently I was applying for many jobs for UK based companies & no matter how high up the employer was it was definitely a first name thing. I think I may even have landed a decent job due to my 'mistake' of referring to the head of HR as Mr. ......... initially! Seems like it didn't do me any harm.

My partner finds it hilarious that I refer to my Doctor (in person) as 'Doc' though he said it was absolutely OK as he likes to practice his English with me.

This 'rule' of second name terms in certain cases seems a bit ridiculous but I suppose in one sense it does show me respect if for example if I am a long term customer. Is it normal to ask if certain people would mind referring to me by my first name?

Does anyone here insist on being referred to by first name only with long-term associates?

I wait for them to call me by my first name. Then I'll call them by their first name. Saves me having to learn all the intricacies of the etiquette.

"Herr Transition" ... love it!

You're right, it's a minefield. I'm Australian, and the rule there is strictly first names at all times. I was a little taken aback at first by the formality in Switzerland, but have found the best approach is to address everyone over the age of 21 by their surname and wait until they invite me to do otherwise -- my 80-year-old neighbours, for example, asked me to call them by their first names in our first meeting (MUCH to my surprise!).

My daughter has been through the whole Swiss school system and never once was I asked to use first names by a teacher of hers.

My boss gave me permission to call him by his first name and use "du" with him on my 20th anniversary with the company.

Just "knowing" and having business transactions with someone for any length of time here doesn't make you "friends".

Remember first names and the use of "du" are reserved for friends, everyone else is basically "Sie" unless they give you permission otherwise.

This isn't strictly true. If the business is of an informal nature and related to a common interest of the participant and the business then du is ok. An example of this is if you are buying sports equipment, you can generally be per "du" with the people in the shop.

I've been told off by my Swiss better half for being formal in such settings in the past.

You must've made a very good impression lol

My natural way is just to introduce myself with my first name and a big smile and emphasis on my English accent. I have done this all the time I have been in Switzerland and it usually prompts a reciprocal first name (even if my husband is still per-sie with them ).

I feel I can still maintain a level of politeness and respect even if we're on first name terms.

No-one has battered me for it in the 9 years I've been here.

The worst mistake I have made is when someone introduced themselves with a complicated surname which I took to be their first name and addressed them just as XYZ all night instead of Herr XYZ. Silly bugger should have corrected me.

Plus younger people who have travelled around a bit seem to go for the "du" almost immediately - even in business.

Why? My name is not 'Du'? That is so stupid! In English it would translate as 'you' then? Very flaky!

This is becoming more and more true everyday. My daughter is in retail and always says "du" to her customers unless she says if they have "that look" about them then she knows to use "Sie".

I've found that if you speak in English it is first names, but the moment you use German it is Herr/Frau.

At my last job in a Swiss company (English was the corporate language), both the Swiss and Germans would respond to my english emails addressed to Mr/Ms Coworker with Dear FirstName and signed off with just their first name as well. This would go against what convention was with the native German speakers in the company, who may have known these people for years but were still per Sie with the same coworker.

This is so silly, I have to have permission from the person I'm speaking to to refer to them by the name their mother gave them

Seconded. Du and first name basis with everybody unless I need something from them. Then I'll try to kiss their ass and be a bit more formal. Thankfully, that doesn't happen too often. I imagine that they forgive me with my complete lack of manners due to my horrible grasp of the local language.

I'm sorry, I was being a bit pedantic, it is helpful to know these answers as I must improve my level of communication here.

It is definitely a positive gesture by the Swiss to bend the rules a bit when they know you are not a native.

If I think back I do remember having to refer to my old boss (a theatre manager) in the UK.....as Mr. ........ I recall that it actually was easier for both of us as I really didn't like him & used to try & drop the Mr bit without him noticing.

Err... I meant that they go for firstnames first and are therefore per-du with you from the outset rather than calling you by the name "Du"...

Your doctor of course knows that "Doc" is a positive title and includes respect. In Italy, waiters in restaurants who see you reading something serious may address you half-jokingly by "Dottore" or "Professore" and of course use the "respect-form" of speaking . In France, the "vous" form is often used even within families.


Not really. Members of clubs, guests in pubs, people who have been together in military service etc are automatically on "Du" terms. In business it is a bit more complicated. I was on "Sie" with the man in charge in the warehouse of our trucker. But the situation became strange when his new colleague, an Italian, was per "Du" with all the world. And so, when I by chance somewhere met the "man 1" I agreed to the change to "Du".

The basic idea is that either the older or the "higher ranking" person offers the Du, but this is not taken so strictly.

Somehow, I find first names more formal and anonymous than last names. I always offer my first name. In the event they should want to look for me, there are thousands of people who have the same first name. But if they had my last names, they would be able to look me up in the phone book. It's the last name I don't like to give out to strangers.

Funny

In Denmark, where I come from, I would only say "Sie" to people above 50, and also only if they act like they expect it.

When I came to Switzerland, my colleagues told me to say "Du" in the first 10 minutes in the office, and it was "Du" to 80% of the people working there, including the manager.

In my second contract in Switzerland, I said "Sie" in the Interview, and the result was, that my boss said "Sie" to me only, but "Du" to my other colleagues.

Now I have a temporary Job in Germany, and I say "Sie" to even the youngest trainee, and only say "Du" to my colleagues in the same office.

Why did you speak German to older people in Denmark?

They were used to it a few years back.