Just in case some of you are having a miserable time as well i thought I'd document my experiences of the day to let you know you are not alone.

I am now sitting in a local hostelry somewhere in Graubunden, finally enjoying my first beer of the day, having made my escape from the inlaws good. The atmosphere here is not unlike something out of Deliverence, however it will have to do as this will be my only respite of the day. Hopefully I'll be spared hearing the words "sqeal little piggy", or the budnerland dialect equivelent, on my way back, but in all honesty it's not looking good.

The day started promisingly, the only hitch being that classic German English misunderstanding regarding time meaning I was destined to spend a full hour longer at the inlaws than I had anticipated. The situation unfortunately deteriorated on the train when a man, not looking an ounce under 35 stone decided that the seat next to me would be his ideal place for the entire of the first leg of the journey, leaving me wedged against the window, much to the amusment of my travelling partner, for just over an hour. The second leg of the journey went well enough. Alas a walk of just over a kilometer through driving rain put the dampners on any thought of mine that the day was improving.

Upon arrival at the inlaws, and after the usual greetings, I was offered, and continued to be offered at regular intervals something that removed any remants of my apetite that may have remained after being told that we're having fondue chinoise... again. It was a kind of open sandwich, which in itself is perfectly acceptable apart from the fact that these were covered in a peculiar, and as yet, unidentified gelatinous substance, suggesting that some fith dimensional lifeform from a science fiction B movie had already sampled them and decided that they weren't fit for alien, let alone human consumption.

The conversation, I must admit, has been somewhat lacking, covering such topics as new crockery, broken crockery, crockery that isn't, but should be brocken, and crockery that's not been bought yet and how long it could potentially last until it is broken, but *best of all was an in depth discussion into the various mechanical contstructs and articulations of curtains... riveting stuff. I have to say that it was infinitely more interesting when I was first in Switzerland and couldn't understand a word of German. It was during one of these talks that my only friend, saviour, and alltogether top chap that would help me survive the hours of christmas darkness, fell in battle. With a flurry of bubbles, a pop, and a lingering gurgle, the Nesspresso machine expired.

Things were really at their worst for me at that point, or so I thought, and I decided that the local bar would be necessary to restore whatever enthusiasm that I could possibly have for the day. Only to be well and truly thwarted. The large self articulated mohair rug, that the inlaws lovingly refer to as "Timmy", decided to vomit his Christmas present, consisting, so far, of two and a half packs of "Smakos" all over my shoes. The only saving grace being on, and not in, my shoes. To her credit my "mother inlaw" did a good job of cleaning them, but as I sit here now they still stink.

Hope your Christmas is going better.

Hahaha In-laws. My sympathies. I know what that could be like.

Credit really must go to my other half who had the wonderful idea of visiting his parents (in a neighbouring country) around the beginning of December instead of these couple of days. He's done most of the cooking today, so I'm having a peaceful and joyous Christmas with my feet up and some soothing music from the iPod and good book.

My sympathies, Slappy.

My sympathesies Slappy. The only advice I can offer is alcohol, sipping gently all day until you enter your own little virtual world of mumbliness and those around you decide that it's probably best toleave you alone in your own little world.

Personally, today has not been too bad apart from the rain and snow and I've just finished cooking and eating quite a palatable late Xmas lunch. The pud and clotted cream though have put me into a stupified mumbling mass on the sofa. Even our Rottweiler is avoiding me.

Enjoy the evening, I hope to be doing the same myself.

Well, that sounds less than thrilling. I would recommend baking soda/natron to help deodorize the shoes.

The only excitement on my Christmas was when the top of the chimney (that weird metal cap) decided to blow partially off and start rattling the entire house this morning. After the emergency roofer was called to fix it, we all joked that Santa broke our chimney during the night.

My advice is to get as drunk as possible. Not only will it make you feel oblivious to your troubles but has the added bonus that you can get your own back by throwing up on the dog!

Merry (or not) christmas!
Gal x

Well I had been expecting all my relatives on Tuesday - only for them to be grounded at Luton - all arrived today - lunch went well and we are crying with laughter watching Bruno!!!

It only happens once a year!!!

Looks as if you are blessed by particularily interesting, sophisticated, educated and entertaining inlaws. That you now are thoroughly informed about crockery, curtains and rugs adds to the fun and excitement.

Can you post your picture of your multi-colored size 11 being delivered unto Rover in a less-than-for-kids style where the proverbial sun shineth not?

If it makes you feel any better, our cats at the wrapping paper and are now decorating the house with holiday-themed vomit.

The present with a presence eh?

did you get the cow you wanted ?

You had Christmas with my family?

Not yet, but I'm still on the look-out.

For diverse and personal reasons, I deeply hate Xmas.

Well, this year I found an ideal solution: my son was with his father, my boyfriend with his family, and I stayed at my place watching the cartoons on TV and eating a bag of crisps and cookies... The perfect Xmas for me

Poor you
Hate to brag, but maybe I stole the Christmas. Had the most wonderful Christmas of my life

I have finally made it back to civilisation, and am now camped at the Nelson trying to drown the memories of Christmas in few well deserved beers.

Many thanks for all the sympathetic comments, and those comments suggesting what I should to do to enact my revenge on the walking carpet. However it wasn't really the old fella's fault, more the fault of those who kept feeding him "Smakos".

It's good to be back, very good to be back.

Sympathies...Hope this cheers you up.

This was my first Christmas with my new in-laws (they are really wonderful people ) and my first Christmas in Switzerland. The 24th wasn't too bad... a bit of hectic last minute shopping with the family, whipping up eggnog and fudge, first time having "Chinese Fondue"...However, Christmas (the 25th) was the most pathetically, boring Christmas I have ever experienced. No special food, no gifts, no visiting friends and family... just sit at home and veg with the in-laws in front of the TV. Certainly not what I was expecting
I just kept thinking... where's the bird and too bad I am pregnant otherwise I would drink myself into oblivion Oh well, there's always next year

ok, but what was yor share on improving the xmess eve?
did you try to lead the conv to other topics?

i was the first time together with my (maybe future) in-laws. my gf took me to her sisters+bfs (nice) house and her parents came along. we had a delicious fondue chinoise, fantastic wine and very interesting conversations. and: i had to laugh about her dads jokes and wit! i think that was astonishing the most. the downer have been the presents they all xchanged. usual crap you bin next day or change at the shops...though i got 2 bottles of yummy red wine...brilliant!