• You can't prove any of those assertions; and
• You'd find, if you actually spoke to someone who believes in God, that we don't believe that his role is to prevent us from stumbling and falling, but rather that he is there to help us deal with what happens when we do inevitably stumble and fall.

Well, people who counsel are only human and need to vent too. It's a little hard to train this one. Sometimes a more or less anonymous place is the best place to ask.

I'm not a believer in things happening for a reason. Crap happens all the time and it's all random sh*t. And even though I think someone might be scum, chances are that person is someone else's loved one... so even good and bad are in the eye of the beholder.

I've cared for both of my parents at their deaths, and what I've learned is that the best you can do is to be grateful for a chance to help someone at a difficult time. Even if a young person dies, you can help those who are left - which you've done, and take comfort in that. It's not much, but it's sometimes what you can have to get through it.

And although I'm not religious, when my mother was dying I was still sort of hanging on to some religion. I learned that rather than pray for her to get well, what we really needed to pray for was the strength to get through it and to help her get through it.

No, but you can't prove your God exists either (and I hope this won't devolve into one of those arguments). However, is it easier to believe that bad things happen to good people because of chance or bad choices or is it easier to believe that the bad crap that happened to them is somehow integral to God's 'plan' for their life (and if God has a 'plan' for their life, what does that do about choice and predestination! oy vey!). I find it easier to deal with life and to move forward after some misfortune via the former assumption, rather than the latter. I felt I was pretty free to express my opinion in that matter (or am I making an unprovable assumption again?). In fact, I don't even recall trying to proselytize (I'll leave that to others better versed at it).

I know, and I don't intend to.

That's up to the individual.

But to assert that there is no God, or that there is no Karma, when you have no evidence to the contrary is just silly.

Some of us rely on God, some of us rely on Tarot cards, and some of us rely on brandy to get us through life.

No harm in that, is there?

I always liked this quote, to relate to good/bad things happening to good/bad people ...

The rain falls down upon the just
And also on the unjust fella
But mostly falls upon the just
'Cause the unjust stole the just's umbrellla

Not sure who said it, or even if that's the precise quote, but encapsulates a lot of the world ...

And some of us hedge our bets by doing all of those whilst wearing a garlic necklace. Whatever works for you.

You're absolutely right and there is not harm in it. As I said, I stated my opinion but don't feel the need to argue the point or to convince you of the error of your ways. But it's equally silly to assert that there is a God without any proof or evidence isn't there? (feel free to ignore this rhetorical question as I don't want to get into a silly argument)

I don't recall anybody in this thread having done so.

Errrrrrr ..........am I a Clairvoyant, Do I know the answers ? Are counsellors supposed to ? Maybe check out the B.A.C.P !! It tells you how we work !

For gods sake !! Why take the **** out of this subject ? Perhaps your own incapability to deal with it makes you transfer it to me via the forum, hoooray, clever witty boy !!!!

It was suposed to be a sensitive question and answer forum without judging others !

I am simply posing ONE question about one of lifes dilemas and simply asking a question about answers when there seem to be none and others opinions !!!

Oooops sorry perhaps my bereavment training, experience of ten years bereavement counselling, 3 years working in a hopsice for dying young parents and also setting up a UK charity for bereaved children was a waste of time ! Yep........seems that way

Or maybe cos I just prefer to hear , empathise and respect ones own individal experiences !!!!! and then feel helpless !!

Mmmmm

Duh !!!

Why ?????????

If I was suffering from emotional distress, I'm not sure I would depend upon the counsel of someone who responds so emotionally (demonstrated by the almost manic use of the exclamation mark, exhibited above) to a passing sarcastic comment on an internet forum.

As they say in California: Chill out!

Because!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ermmmmm
I wonder why in my response to you I felt the need to use so many!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh but your wit gets the better of me
so well done !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU WIN THE WIT CONTEST OK
So now, can we get back to the question !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm

So you ask us for our opinions, and you get some really thoughtful opinions from a wide range of people, and then comment on 2 that you seem not to like? I know you've been through some distress here...but really!

And I for one, hope that your clients are not members of this board.

Are you always this emotional?

And do you always fire off angry private messages at people who ask you about your anger?

Yes indeed about serious issues and you sabotage just to have a laugh

Actually, I'm making a very serious point.

It's interesting that you don't seem to understand that, though.

I wasn't taking the **** at all, on the contrary, I just felt that, if you advertise on here as a counsellor (particularly as you have so many qualifications), it isn't very confidence inspiring ( nor professional IMO) to the poor soul that seeks counselling.
Yes, it is always tragic, no, I don't believe there are any words, I also don't believe one can justify one persons good/bad fortune over anothers.

Support is all one can offer, professionaly or privately and it's a very fine line as to what support means.

Of course counsellors are human and need support in their field, just think this is not the place to ask for it.

Hey...........The EF Gigolo which I think ur username is , not into your power war of wit and one upmanship !

so.............as I said before when I opened up the issue , what is your opinion of why bad things happen to good people.....

I think you've derailed your own thread, sorry to say. It was interesting, until you took notice of two half snarky comments. People do react to these sorts of things with all sorts of half sarcastic responses because it is such a difficult thing. But if you look at the subsequent responses, it was back on track. Talk about judging. Pot kettle and all that.

Hey Hun, Do you expect me or any counsellor to have crystal ball ???
Do counsellors have the magic answers ?
Or is our job to support clients with their current life crisis , offer non judgemental postive regard and walk alongisde and support them during their difficult journey !
You know what ? My clients like me ... cos I do real life and empathy not sympathy , not nanzy panzy tea biscuits and a hug darling !