Depends which one it is. If it's the straight-talking kind, don't EVER put face pics up. Ever, ever, ever. Only send face pictures once you got one from him.

we did not have internet for dating and have the impression it was easier to date. there must be something wrong here.

Face pics??? What face pics? You mean there are guys that actually don't think that their lower brain is their face?

Hmmmmm, so many responces, so many ways to be lynched and strung up.....choices choices.

Haha, yes, that's my "do not pass go" thing, if I see your lower brain in anything other than 3D, you're out.

I can see one reason for you being single on/off, as you are far from over what happened in the past and no one really want to hear about it and even consider living with your anger.

Bad mouthing ex. GF on Forums or IRL is not good style. Maybe you have every right to be angry and/or unhappy but get it out when you are alone, with a male buddy or with a therapist and move on.

Been there - done that - It works

Are you looking for a personal teacher and a helper?

Isn't a forum a buddy, a therapist and IRL all in one?

In a fairly small community like EF, I think it is pretty ok to spill your guts once in a while as long as you aren't outing someone. Admittedly colinwheeler is half-outing since he is himself not very anonymous but I still think it is within the boundaries.

And I have a strong suspicion that his ex probably feels exactly the same way about him :-)

Maybe.......IMHO it is bad style.

If you were about to date him wouldn't you think twice if you knew he would have no problem groaning at you in public ?

I don't know why I am doing this but hey...

You are right of course, you know me very well, you know that I am an angry angry man and not just a sarcastic cynical bastard.

You know that she was my ex-GF and not actually a wife of 8 years that ended in a very painful split, I presume for both of us and yes, I am sure she is just as angry, even after 3 years apart but we can remain perfectly to each other. If fact, she would most probably would have made a similar crack about me....but sorry you knew that all and that is why you felt qualified to comment. Sorry you could not take my post in the jocular way it was intended. I personally don't think I was bad mouthing her just mentioning I was angry at some stage. I made no personal comments about her at all.

Seriously though, it is not easy to move on from a marraige and I think most people that have experienced that can tell you it takes years if ever. Been there, done the therapy. It works.

Let me be very clear, I prefer not to use forums to find dates...I think I made that clear in previous posts so I see forums more as some buddies that I can chat to, not some pool of potential dates.

Not really, no. I wouldn't want to hear about it too often, and definitely not while stuff is ongoing - but an occasional, long-after-the-fact putdown is OK with me. If anything I think I'd find it reassuring: if the guy knows his ex was a mad bint and can say so with calm confidence, then he's pretty much over her. Maybe she wasn't mad at all, and three years later he'll be saying the same about me. I can live with that. It's the chance you take. Or maybe she really was mad and his acknowledgment confirms he's finally returned to reason.

What I would not want to hear from a guy is that he is 'sooo over her'. If you have to assert that you are, you probably aren't.

I'd also be more comfortable hearing about an ex when the ex in question isn't his most recent. I'd want to know that he has moved on and had a couple of (possibly brief) romantic episodes since then, with pleasant memories attached.

Yes you are right - I don't know you. My point was simply that no matter how much shit someone else has thrown at you, it it damned GOOD style to stay cool in public.

If you were anonymous I most likely wouldn't have made the post, but since you are putting yourself on display, I was more like a piece of advice. Cool down buddy, no offense ment.

I was married for 21 years myself before the shit eventually hit the fan for real, but I would never spend a moment bad mouthing my ex in public (unless you find one of my previous posts showing something else )

And yes....it can be damn difficult to move on but of course it is possible - also for you. The one and only is out there waiting for you, just keep looking.

Update: Got a bite. This is better than bluewin jass (well, almost)

I like to rant in public occasionally. I liked the speakers corner, I liked the way English politicians would shout at each other and I think that it shows passion and the ability to be emotionally honest and stand up for your rights.
Oh, come on, I have nothing to hide and I choose to take offense. I am just not going to hold it against you or hate you for it. No friction in these forums would make them pretty boring, everybody patting each other on the backs all the time...

Once again, just to sure how saying you are angry with somebody is badmouthing them. I made no assertations about her character, except to actually point out that she is quite sweet. Soooooo.....

Sorry, I am not with you on that one. There are many many appropriate women in the world I can date and be friends with or be life partners with if the fancy takes me. I actually have much more important things like my studies, job and family to take care of now to be worrying about finding "The One."

A gentleman never talks, but I hope that a satisfied sigh will do.

Oh dear, you are curious as to what's out there? White socks, house shoes, body odour, not too big on the humour as they intend to call it "Black Humour", everything is done by the Swiss Bible, 09h00 is coffee time, 12h00 is lunch time, 19h00 is supper time and 20h45 on a Thursday night is what they call happy time, that however lasts about 3 minutes and 56 seconds. Shoo I've said too much. Just spent 7 years listening to expat women married to Swiss men.
I suggest you try finding an expat that has a Swiss passport, at least you will have that balance of cultural understanding.
Good luck! ;-)

You get the Swiss men you deserve, I say.

Ha ha. To be honest, except for the body odour and 3 minutes, the rest doesn't sound all that bad. Thanks for the motivating pep talk. (My attempt at black / ironic / sarcastic humour)

This suxs. Plenty of winks and emails, only to find out I have to pay to see them. So goodbye match.com