I really need some help on this matter and i hope somebody on this forum can give me a good advise.

I have a child in the first year of kindergarten, i decided to put him in a swiss public school because i thought it was the best way for him to integrate, learn the language, make friends and bla bla...

well he started in august and he's till struggling with the language he apparently understand a little but speaks only few words (exactly like other foreign children in his class).

I have to say that he is a very lively boy and needs attention.

Futhermore he has had a difficult time since we came here, new town, new environment and a new brother who's born only three months after we moved to Switzerland. He has a temper and very strong personality, so i know perfectly that it is sometimes hard to deal with him (as with children in general, i guess).

In October they asked me for a meeting and they invited the school psichologist: we discussed about his behaviour who was difficult because of the language and his bad understanding of their rules, but his development was never questioned. They told me it was no big deal, they know things were hard for him, and we would have only to wait and see, so we set another meeting for december.

We worked a lot at home on his behaviour, rules and sense of responsability as far it is possible (he's 4 and 1/2 years old) and it seemed we made some improvement according to the teacher as well, but only 2 weeks before our next meeting the teachers told me that they thought the boy was a little "behind", which i found really weird since it was the first time i had ever heard of it, nobody in the previous schools had ever told me something like this neither here nor in my country asked me to sign an official request to enter in a psichological exams procedure to test his development and that we needed to do this as soon as possible because after december it would have been much trouble doing this exams it would have been a very busy period.

I was shocked, they simply did not care about any improvement and gave for granted that the kid needed this examination. Iasked to wait until our next meeting and when the day came guess what? they invited somebody from the school organization to talk about the solutions which actually was only one :

since the child "refuses" to learn german ( i guess how do they know that he's refusing).
since he has no motivation
since he's disturbing the class

For "his own sake" it is better for him to stay home for this year and repeat the 1st year of the kiga next year.

if we refuse this solution the only alternative for him is to go only for two hrs a day until the end of the year but he has to repeat the 1st year anyway.

i am sure my child is absolutely like any other child of his age, maybe a little wild one, but not "behind". Anyway i asked his doctor to give me her opinion and she was shocked. SHE said she could easily see that the boy is absolutely normal in his development.
I guess if this is even legal for a public school to say things like this and take desisions without any medical justification, i can't believe they want to get rid of a problem (their class has more children than usual, 19 instead of 18) in this way...

it's clear that he is too hard to manage for them and this is the real reason they want him out of the school but i don't understand why they do not simply tell the truth, and in the end can't believe that in this supercivilized country they can't offer any other solution.

This situation is forcing me to change school and this, among other issues, means another change for my child that i find really difficult to justify even to him.

I would ask you if there is some organization in Switzerland you may know whom i could ask for some additional explanation, i really need help. I feel cheated. Right now I believe this was an extremely unfair and discriminatory behaviour on their part but i would appreciate to know about other opinions.

Thank you so much for your help.

First of all, if you think your son is normal, then he is. You know him best.

Second of all, did you talk to the teacher in English? Was her English sufficient enough to carry out such a meeting? There may be language barriers going on here.

Third of all, talk to your child. How does he feel? He may be the key to this all.

Good luck. It's not an easy situation.

Move to Ticino?

Tom

You wrote that your son is a "very lively boy and needs attention." Exactly what do you mean by that? I don't think the problem is with his "development skills" it's with his "behavior." If he is slowing the rest of the class down or causing problems with his behavior they may feel he is a bit too "babyish " to be in the class at this time. In Switzerland they are not going to take all types of steps to make the class comfortable "just for your child." They gave him a probation period and it didn't work out. Have you considered their point of view? In Switzerland the schools don't try and "raise your child." They are not uber babysitters. In addition, the teachers spent more time with your child than your doctor so I would think they will know more as far as schooling his concerned. You also mention that he is a little "wild one." The Swiss aren't going to put up with that in their schools. I think "you" should work more with your son and prepare him for the next year. Put him in a krippe or sorts. You will have to pay them and they will put up with his behavior. In the class he is there to learn not to "act wild." Maybe after being in a krippe, daycare, he will have matured a bit and ready for school the following year. Good Luck...

When is his birthday in relation to the cut off? If it's close then the problem might be that he is one of the youngest in the class (at at 4.5 year one year is a big difference in development), that along with his language issues might mean that he is getting nothing out of Kindergarten other than frustration and a resentment towards education.
My daughter is 4.25, and so not in K yet, if we were still in the UK she would be the youngest in reception. I know other kids in her year in reception, mostly 6-11 months older, and there is NO WAY she could do what they do. Not because she is slow, but because she is behind THEM.
Some time in a native speaking Krippe might be the best solution, he will learn the language and expected behaviour from the local kids rather than have to be instructed by a teacher.

As far as I can see, in Switzerland there is a lot more flexibility about the cut-off age, and you can appeal to go ahead or stay back if the birthday is within a month or so, normally, to go forward they want a test to see if the kid is actually ready (not cleaver enough, but mature enough). As there is this movement around, there will be no stigma to him starting a year 'late' if he is only a month of so after the cut-off, which at 4.5 I guess he will be.

Think "lost in translation" here. A German speaking mouth saying behind in English can be a way to express something referring to "zurück" in German (that's my experience of bad English as a user and as a listener), which can be just about anything. Ask them to explain to you what they mean, go as far as asking for a lecture about child development. A least, you'll know what they have in mind. You don't have to agree, you just have to know what they know.

If there is some kind of time line of development they refer to, then you need to understand one thing: you won't change it, it's their training, so work within this frame. If the teachers are perfectly aware of the fact that your child has to deal with so many changes of all kinds, then they may think that academic pressure is the last thing your child needs. They are actually giving him a break, letting him be a child at his own paste and take into consideration that some children do need more time to acquire language in a bilingual environment. Repeating the class means avoiding failure, not punishing him for present failure. Your job as a parent would be truly not to take it as a punishment, otherwise, your children will be teared apart between "school-talk" and "parent-talk". I am aware of the cultural himalaya that stands between you in this matter, but contradictions among adults lead to disaster, not only at this age.

Or maybe those teachers are really total a$$h0les who hate you and want to ruin your life. I don't know them. You decide.

If your boy is really only 4 1/2 years old he is one of the youngest, maybe even the youngest. As he was born after April 30 2008 he was admitted just by your own request.

I think your application had the very best intentions (integration, learning the language etc.) But things may not work always as we want them. Kids can behave and act in different situations and environments differently. Some which are very shy, introverted, may be very outgoing and talkative in a complete different situation. There may be a bully in the class (boy or girl alike, some of them are more than a year older than your son). Or he is just afraid to speak for whatever "stupid" reason (for sure not stupid from his PoV).

The problem the Kindergartenteacher faces is that she sees the boy and his behavior in her environment. She will and can only deduct her conclusion from there. But this also means that she sees that your boy struggles in the current situation. There are different solutions to solve this. One of them is to do a fresh new start next year. New class, new teacher, new environment, new friends. Also keep in mind that your son got an early start. One year of age difference is a lot when the kids are that young. He is certainly perfectly normal for a 4 1/2 year old, but he has to compete with and is compared to a one year older peer group.

It sounds like you have a bright but bored youngster on your hands. Just an idea: do you do any reading or number work with him at home? Maybe it would help to focus on something like that instead of trying to "improve" his behaviour. He will soon be streets ahead of the Swiss kids, who don't do any reading until they're about six. There are plenty of ideas on the internet - here's a good place to start. He might also appreciate the extra attention if he has a new sibling. Good luck!

Can you prove it? Or are you just trying to pamper the OP's ego?

Because the Swiss schools don't do academic learning in Kindergarten, so learning to read doesn't happen until 1st grade (Germany too, BTW)

They do some reading; however, not on the level of primary schools. Swiss children are far more mature and sometimes foreigners have to get used to the fact that Swiss schools will not "babysit" their children.

Sorry to hear about your experience because going through all those changes the move, the baby and your son not adapting in school is surely a challenge.

A good option might be to put him in a swiss Krippe where he gets used to the language and the system for the rest of the acadamic year and then start again.. I am sure the results will be much better!

Good luck

Hello

Sorry about having this difficult time.

I will share my experience as our timings are identical. I have children in the kindergarten. For me learning the local language has been priority number 1 since the first day. What I did:

1. I put my children in the school Hort. So at 12pm when the Kindergarten ends, they go straight to the Hort, have lunch there and stay until 6pm. This means that from 8am to 6pm they only hear the local language. This does not come cheap, but I consider it an investment for their happiness.
2. I top up up this with a private SwissGerman teacher. She has been teaching them 1 hour per week each reinforcing the weak areas.
3. Also, they have made friends since the first week so they have been invited to lots of play dates and then of course I organise some.
4. Finally, our neighbours have children of similar ages so they very often come to our house or vice-versa to play.

So they have been learning the language while playing and this has helped them to have lots of friends.

Besides, the school is providing them with High German support.


After 3 months they were speaking very good SwissGerman. Currently they are my personal translators

I think as soon as your child can talk properly, all the issues will be gone.

Good luck!

We also have a first year kindergartener in the local school and were asked to attend a meeting with the teacher and school psychologist as well. We asked one of OH's Swiss co-workers to attend with us and act as an interpreter because we've had minor communication problems with the teacher previously. Our meeting was much the same as yours--questions about M's behavior at home, whether he seems happy going to/coming home from school, if he speaks kindly of the other children to us, and then the comment from the teacher that she sees minor behavior issues in class but believes this is due to M's lack of German. The suggestion was that we hire a private German tutor to begin after Christmas to help speed up his language acquisition. So, we're going to try that.

I have to say, the best thing we did was have someone serve as an interpreter for this meeting. It alleviated any mixed messages and misunderstandings. The teacher also told me later that she was grateful for the interpreter because he "softened" some of her comments. She said she has a tendency for her speech to be harsh, so she was glad that our interpreter both accurately gave us the information and gave it to us gently

Yes, I had several "concerned" mothers approach me at the beginning of the year to tell me they heard my kid knew his letters, numbers, and how to write his name. They gently told me that I shouldn't push him to learn these things at home (which I'm not--he just likes to learn and wants to copy his big brother) or the other kids would tease him. Recently he started to read (in our mother tongue), so it'll be interesting to see what all of the well-meaning folks at school have to say about that

In my time spent in my kid's kindergarten classroom, I have to say that the Swiss kids don't seem any more mature than my kid or any of the other non-Swiss kids. They all just act like what I consider to be "typical" 5 and 6 year olds. Unless you consider swinging sticks at other kids or throwing dirt/rocks at each other to be "more mature" behavior

If you don't mind me asking, which countries education system are you used to?

The reason I ask this is because I teach in an international school and there are always cultural expectations of what is expected of a school, a teacher, a child that can, at times, be poles apart.

If by more mature you mean language/swearing, I'll agree with you. Some of the things I hear the kids say shock me... I hate blöde and scheise, which is regularly heard amongst those young 'ens...

Do you mean that Swiss kg's expect children to make their own choices and initiate their own learning? That has frequently been my impression of the kg years. However in this case it sounds quite the opposite with the boy being reined in to conform to a norm being imposed by the teacher.

But, if your child is at the youngest end of the age group, indeed a year to develop a little more may be all he needs. His social skills can be expected to be more advanced and possibly he will be able to sit, or be less avtive, for longer periods of time.

OR will that mean that next year he will be amongst the oldest in the class, and the biggest(?) and still "wild" in which case it seems you can still expect the school to intervene in some way. None of us are able to tell exactly what he will be like in 12 months time.

Another poster has suggested your son could be bored. That could well be the case, for any number of reasons. However, if you are going to keep him in the local system, teaching him to read and write this early is not necessarily going to make school more comfortable for him as he is probbaly going to be repeating the academics when he is back in the system. Instead, try developing the interests he has eg: very active? football, tennis, swimming lessons, long walks in the countryside etc. Artistic? ensure he has glue, pencils, paint, paper and construction materials and space to create. Mathematical? Construction sets, board games, card games etc ( I have had four year olds happily playing chess)

All, or any of these will help his cognitive development, but also his powers of concentration and fine/gross motor skills.



I wish you the best of luck with whatever decisions you make.

My daughter was streets ahead of her contempories in the first year of school, because she could already read and could already do maths (having had 2 years of schooling in England) which they had not learned in Kindergarten. It gave her the opportunity to develop her German without other pressures.

Anyway. With our other daughter, we had similar issues to the OP. They recommended she see a psychologist. Who then properly assessed her, took into account her growing bilingualism, and said she's above average. So that was that.

I never thought that the school should babysit my child and this doesn't happen in any country i have known so far.
Children are children in every part of the world and i don't think they can get more mature or smarter, according to their nationality.

Thank you very much for your advise.