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Old 25.02.2015, 15:24
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Re: Inability to work 100% during pregnancy

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I have female friends who have worked up to 8 months pregnant as Ski Instructors… I have heard of athletes who continue with sport and training until their due date… I have a friend who worked as a cleaner until her due date, girls who worked as airport/airline customer service staff…. all very demanding jobs physically, but they were fine. Pregnancy is not an illness.
True, pregnancy is not illness but every pregnancy is different. My SIL has also worked till 1 week before her EDD, but I also have friends who could not work even during their 1st trimester. But I can't really compare them..can I? Pregnancy is not illness but again it's not normal you. There is something big which is going on inside your body and for some it is difficult and for some it's not. Illness can be treated but while pregnant you can't really do much..most of the time doctor will ask you to just ignore and be with it unless untill it's severe, but to me it doesn't sound that much fun.

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Old 25.02.2015, 15:32
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Re: Inability to work 100% during pregnancy

I'm with you Island Monkey and Odile on all this and have been wondering for a long time why these days, hardly any women seems to work until the end of her pregnancy anymore. I know only one who worked until a few days before giving birth, all others stopped working at least 4 months earlier, but only one of them had a condition where continuing to work (or even so much as getting off the couch) would have been dangerous for the baby.

HOWEVER: people are different and some women have problematic and very exhausting pregnancies whereas others have not (says a non-mother). And maybe the pressure or stress level - whether perceived (usually) or indeed real - might be higher or at least different than it used to be. Many jobs (of course not all) these days are not physically demanding and even the ones that are are less physically demanding than they probably were 'back in the days'. So that can't be it and it must be something else.

I do agree that it's a bit, well, iffy, to ask for sick leave basically because the day is a bit long and the commute somewhat tiring, which is hardly the employers' problem anyway. Nevertheless, in my experience, any doctor will provide a medical note for a pregnant woman regardless of whether she's actually sick or not, so that will be no problem
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Old 25.02.2015, 15:36
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There is no cover for maternity leave before the child is born. Some employers and employees have an insurance, but many small employers do not, and have to cover the whole cost of finding and paying a replacement out of their own pocket, I'm afraid. Which is why, sadly, tragically even- some small employers will not employ young women- even more so now that the high franc value is putting such pressure on the tourism and other industries.

As a woman, a mother and grand-mother, I find this tragic- hence my reasons for expecting women to show great responsibility in their own behaviour- lest we become our own worst enemies. Employers maybe aboe to reduce hours (but as said, the long commute is a personal choice and hardly their responsibility) and also discuss changes in the day duties to avoid strenuous physical work, lifting, etc, to as large an extent as possible, of course.

Many of us have been mothers, have given birth, and have friends and daughters who have done so- and totally understand the issues, I can assure you. Sounds like your job is not physically demanding- make sure you get up from your desk to move around, do some stretches, etc- and take time to eat properly.
Totally agree with you and I too feel the same. That's the only reason I haven't asked even for a single day off till now. I have reduced my time on my own (knwoing the consequences), I have saved my last year holidays also just because I wanted to take a pause during my pregnancy. I could have asked my doctor now but taking my own holidays made much more sense to me. But I am not sure how it is going to be in 6th month. If my company has an insurance which can cover up for my absence then I don't think I am doing something unjustified. Apart from this, I am also not saying that I do not want to work at all, I am just hoping to get some time reduced so that I can look after me and keep my health on track (physically and mentally)

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I'm with you Island Monkey and Odile on all this and have been wondering for a long time why these days, hardly any women seems to work until the end of her pregnancy anymore. I know only one who worked until a few days before giving birth, all others stopped working at least 4 months earlier, but only one of them had a condition where continuing to work (or even so much as getting off the couch) would have been dangerous for the baby.

HOWEVER: people are different and some women have problematic and very exhausting pregnancies whereas others have not (says a non-mother). And maybe the pressure or stress level - whether perceived (usually) or indeed real - might be higher or at least different than it used to be. Many jobs (of course not all) these days are not physically demanding and even the ones that are are less physically demanding than they probably were 'back in the days'. So that can't be it and it must be something else.

I do agree that it's a bit, well, iffy, to ask for sick leave basically because the day is a bit long and the commute somewhat tiring, which is hardly the employers' problem anyway. Nevertheless, in my experience, any doctor will provide a medical note for a pregnant woman regardless of whether she's actually sick or not, so that will be no problem
I have no plans to sit at home 3-4 months before edd. I really enjoy my work and it keeps me active. However as I said in my above comments also, the amount of work and hours are putting me into a lot of stress. I do not intend to explain here the consequences I am facing , but believe me sometimes I had to literally call my husband to pick me up from some other train station. It's not easy and all I am expecting is some relief and I can understand sometimes it's difficult for others to understand unless they are in your shoes. Raising eyebrows is the easiest thing.

Last edited by 3Wishes; 25.02.2015 at 15:49. Reason: merging successive posts
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Old 25.02.2015, 15:50
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Re: Inability to work 100% during pregnancy

Illogical to put every pregnancy into one box, everyone'e experience is different

Pregnancy/birth is the most natural human experience there is, it shouldn't be shunned or given undue criticism, particularly by employers or sexists

My wife's first pregnancy coincided with her still in the interim phase of her first job here en Suisse and she returned to work 6 months after birth...That was 2 years ago...She'll do similar this time around as well as she is a valued asset...They invest in her and vice versa
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Old 25.02.2015, 16:00
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Re: Inability to work 100% during pregnancy

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Illogical to put every pregnancy into one box, everyone'e experience is different

Pregnancy/birth is the most natural human experience there is, it shouldn't be shunned or given undue criticism, particularly by employers or sexists

My wife's first pregnancy coincided with her still in the interim phase of her first job here en Suisse and she returned to work 6 months after birth...That was 2 years ago...She'll do similar this time around as well as she is a valued asset...They invest in her and vice versa
Agree with you. The most easiest job is to question on someone's dignity and even I am surprised. I just hope people would have been a little bit more open minded rather than criticising someone who is already into a lot of things. Anyway I got the answer I was looking for thanks to all lovely people out here.
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Old 25.02.2015, 16:17
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Re: Inability to work 100% during pregnancy

Hope you can find a suitable solution OP so that you can feel less stressed, and enjoy your break with family. An 8 hour journey, for a month's holiday, especially considering the length if your normal working days, doesn't sound bad at all. If people had read your post properly before replying maybe they wouldn't have been so quick to criticise this.

To me it sounds like the OP is trying to find a responsible solution for herself, baby and employer. It's a shame that some people have replied in a more general way to get something off their chest that may add to her stress by thinking it's directed at her, when she does not sound at all like a chancer trying to take advantage of employer. And there's plenty of non-pregnant people who very much take advantage of sick leave without redeeming factor of growing a baby inside them, let's not forget.

Of course pregnancy is not an illness, but it does affect people differently and dismissing concerns as 'just feeling a bit tired' is a bit rude. Just because you're doing a job that involves sitting down all day doesn't mean there isn't stress and exertion involved.

In a system that doesn't allow maternity leave to start before the due date, which many women would chose to take if possible, unfortunately 'sick leave' may be the only way to get sometimes-much-needed rest before birth. It's great that some of you have examples of women working up to due date, but that's not suitable for everyone and the baby's welfare shoild surely take precedence. I know many employers would also rather not eke out all they can get from their employees if they're so tited/ill that their work is suffering, and would prefer them to look after themselves for their return.

Good luck OP. Just discuss with your Doctor and do what you feel is best.
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Old 25.02.2015, 16:26
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Re: Inability to work 100% during pregnancy

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Hope you can find a suitable solution OP so that you can feel less stressed, and enjoy your break with family. An 8 hour journey, for a month's holiday, especially considering the length if your normal working days, doesn't sound bad at all. If people had read your post properly before replying maybe they wouldn't have been so quick to criticise this.

To me it sounds like the OP is trying to find a responsible solution for herself, baby and employer. It's a shame that some people have replied in a more general way to get something off their chest that may add to her stress by thinking it's directed at her, when she does not sound at all like a chancer trying to take advantage of employer. And there's plenty of non-pregnant people who very much take advantage of sick leave without redeeming factor of growing a baby inside them, let's not forget.

Of course pregnancy is not an illness, but it does affect people differently and dismissing concerns as 'just feeling a bit tired' is a bit rude. Just because you're doing a job that involves sitting down all day doesn't mean there isn't stress and exertion involved.

In a system that doesn't allow maternity leave to start before the due date, which many women would chose to take if possible, unfortunately 'sick leave' may be the only way to get sometimes-much-needed rest before birth. It's great that some of you have examples of women working up to due date, but that's not suitable for everyone and the baby's welfare shoild surely take precedence. I know many employers would also rather not eke out all they can get from their employees if they're so tited/ill that their work is suffering, and would prefer them to look after themselves for their return.

Good luck OP. Just discuss with your Doctor and do what you feel is best.
Really glad to know that atleast one person could understand what I was trying to say. Thanks a ton. Really appreciate that you could manage to read all my comments. People sometimes just bombard others with their ideology without listening. Sad but it happens on public forums and I can totally understand the reason (not knowing each other well or sometimes just different perspectives). So no hard feeling for anyone. I will talk to my doctor during my next visit which is due in my 6th month
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Old 25.02.2015, 16:47
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Re: Inability to work 100% during pregnancy

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Just because you're doing a job that involves sitting down all day doesn't mean there isn't stress and exertion involved.
Anecdotally - I have 2 jobs, one is sitting at my desk the whole day and the other one is very physical. When pregnant, the physical one is actually easier, as I get to move around, and it's the desk job that makes my back and ribs hurt.

Pregnancies are different - I was lucky and worked 100% til my due date with no problems, but I certainly don't think that other people who are not able to do that are just lazy and finding excuses.
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Old 25.02.2015, 17:32
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Re: Inability to work 100% during pregnancy

Every pregnancy is different and only the one undergoing knows how difficult/easy it is.
My wife had very bad pregnancy sickness and it took some time for people to realize that she had HG and she is not exagerating the normal morning sickness. Even the GP had a feeling that its just morning sickness and she was a making a big deal. She lost 4kg in couple of weeks and could not even drink water sometimes and had to go to triemlispital to get fluids. After that she was on 100% medical leave for 2 months, we found a good gynae and she got back on track and doing well now.
Still there are some people who think she just made a huge deal out of morning sickness but i know what she went through and would not wish it on enemies. So i stop explaining them and just nod my head.

So to the OP, talk to your gynae and try to find the best option to get some rest and stop explaining yourself to others since they do not understand as each pregnancy is different. It is a wonderful journey that you are starting on and i wish you all the best.
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Old 25.02.2015, 19:00
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Re: Inability to work 100% during pregnancy

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Really glad to know that atleast one person could understand what I was trying to say. Thanks a ton. Really appreciate that you could manage to read all my comments. People sometimes just bombard others with their ideology without listening. Sad but it happens on public forums and I can totally understand the reason (not knowing each other well or sometimes just different perspectives). So no hard feeling for anyone. I will talk to my doctor during my next visit which is due in my 6th month
How on earth do you know how you will feel by then? You might feel totally fine and happy to continue working- you never know. Think positive. Many women feel rough and tired in the first term, and are then perfectly fine. Why should you be any different?

Of course no pregnancy is the same, of course some women do have medical conditions that make it impossible to work full time, if at all. Some women have to stay in hospital and be looked after very carefully. Of course- and they should be totally protected, and their babies. I don't think anyone here has said anything to the contrary. But this is not the case here- and as said before, that too many women consider pregnancy an illness these days, and in most cases it is not- at all, and with a bit of adaptation on all sides, can happily continue to work almost to the end, in the vast % of cases.
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Old 25.02.2015, 19:21
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Re: Inability to work 100% during pregnancy

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If you look back in history it were probably only the rich women who could stay at home and do nothing during pregnancy, others were forced to work or face starvation.
Except that excessive stress, undereating and lack of attention to the emotional wellbeing/mental health of the pregnant woman, increases the risk of premature birth and this will end up costing the health and education system a whole lot more.

I hate that line 'pregancy is not an illness'. The only people who ever said it to me were women over 50 in the workplace. The fact is that the system is set up a certain way to protect the wellbeing of the mother and baby, at the most vulnerable time of their lives, and if we do not pay good attention to that, we pay a much bigger price as a community.

Yes, individual pregnancy situations affect individual women in their work situation... But pregnancy affects women differently too.

We do not know if this woman will 'bounce back' through the pregnancy or end up having serious health issues... But we need to be careful to be protective...

My three pregnancies were uneventful at the end and full-term, but the third one included having hyperemesis gravidum. I lost 6kg between week 6-12 and needed hospitalisation to treat it. It was not expected (it did not happen with the other two pregnancies)... And it was a true 'pregnancy illness'..

The lack of weight gain (or overall weight loss) is of serious medical concern and I would not be messing around with 'should I take a few days off work'...at some point we need to encourage women to listen to what their bodies are telling them, and to ensure good solid medical support.

The sickness insurance in Switzerland is pretty organised... If you are sick, you are sick, whether it is pregnancy related or not...
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Old 25.02.2015, 19:24
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Re: Inability to work 100% during pregnancy

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How on earth do you know how you will feel by then? You might feel totally fine and happy to continue working- you never know. Think positive. Many women feel rough and tired in the first term, and are then perfectly fine. Why should you be any different?

Of course no pregnancy is the same, of course some women do have medical conditions that make it impossible to work full time, if at all. Some women have to stay in hospital and be looked after very carefully. Of course- and they should be totally protected, and their babies. I don't think anyone here has said anything to the contrary. But this is not the case here- and as said before, that too many women consider pregnancy an illness these days, and in most cases it is not- at all, and with a bit of adaptation on all sides, can happily continue to work almost to the end, in the vast % of cases.
And the OP is talking about adaptation, not being signed off completely. Why are you assuming that by talking to her Doctor she will necessarily be asking for being signed off completely if she doesn't need to be? It seems unfair for you to be taking out the bee in your bonnet on the OP.

As an aside, I can see why people get annoyed at those they perceive as taking the mickey out of employers with sick leave etc, but the hours of the OP even without the travelling seem excessive and would be tough even without being pregnant. In my opinion the health of mother and baby should take precedence over a company getting more than they ought out of an employee.

Last edited by sezdee; 25.02.2015 at 19:37.
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Old 25.02.2015, 19:36
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Re: Inability to work 100% during pregnancy

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My three pregnancies were uneventful at the end and full-term, but the third one included having hyperemesis gravidum. I lost 6kg between week 6-12 and needed hospitalisation to treat it.
HG is a bit different to saying your too tired to work a full day. Obviously with something like HG you can't go to work…. even Princesses get let off work with that condition
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Old 25.02.2015, 22:20
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How on earth do you know how you will feel by then?.
Well a very simple answer to that is because we are taking about me. As mentioned by so many people above, each pregnancy is different you cant assume that somebody will be fine after 3 months because others tend to feel better. But just to let you know why I feel it won't get better following are my reasons:

1. Since last few weeks (not from starting of my pregnancy) I am having very bad muscular pain, according to my doctor it's a common problem in pregnancy and she has given me magnesium supplement. I really doubt if it could bring my magnesium level in just 3 weeks to normal. Till now pain is only increasing and there is no sign of relief. Although it is not severe and bearable so you might say that it's not a reason to say you are unwell (your choice). But believe me it hurts like anything when I stand up.

2. Unfortunately since childhood I have occasional headache which goes away only with one particular medcine. Since now I am pregnant I can't take that so I have to bear it all day. Again it's not something which is severe but uncomfortable so I am supposed to ignore that also.

3. After 9 hours of sitting I have often vomited in train (sorry if it sounds horrible) but my diet and ability to digest food is decreasing day by day and I dont think it's gonna get better by itself. And note that it has become only worse in the 4th month than in the initial 3 months.

4. I can only manage to sleep 7 hours a day. Before pregnancy it was quite enough but now the quality of sleep is not the same. I wake up 2-3 times in between which takes another 20-30min to get myself into sound sleep. I do feel now tiredness and dizziness during my office hours. I know it's because of lack of sleep but I cant really change it with my current situation.

5. Because of all above reasons and a few more I have seen my health only detereorating. And I am not really that positive person who can ignore the facts and just hope to get things better by themselves.

If you think when a woman is having any serious issue or is hospitalised than only she needs help then think again. Sometimes small things make you more uncomfortable because you can not do anything for them.

For me these are quite good enough reasons to consider decreasing my work load so that I can take care of my diet,my health and most imp. get some rest. I do not want to wait for the day when I get into serious problems and then regret that if I would have only listened to my body at first place.

I never really intended to write all the details but you forced me to do so. We should not be judgemental about others unless until we know each and everything about them. You just assumed that people are lazy or irresponsible and play with their pregnancy card but you never know what they are facing because you are not in their shoes. Stop judging and start helping if you can is all I have to say.

Last edited by 3Wishes; 26.02.2015 at 18:22. Reason: merging successive posts
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Old 25.02.2015, 23:14
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Re: Inability to work 100% during pregnancy

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I never really intended to write all the details but you forced me to do so. We should not be judgemental about others unless until we know each and everything about them. You just assumed that people are lazy or irresponsible and play with their pregnancy card but you never know what they are facing because you are not in their shoes. Stop judging and start helping if you can is all I have to say.


Please don't feel you have to share medical details with anyone on the internet. Your health is your business and not anybody's on here.

Most of the time it's not even worth it IME, people just pick up whatever details you give them and argue about those instead. "Well have you tried a magnetic bracelet? My cousin's dog's friend's sister wore one on each wrist and she worked full time right up until she was 6cm dilated!"

As you said earlier, people are voicing their feelings about situations in general, not yours in particular. You have to recognize that, and let whatever doesn't apply to you just wash right over you. Water off a duck's back.

All the best... from someone who was off work 100%, from week 8 until birth. (There, that'll give 'em something to chew on!)
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Old 25.02.2015, 23:37
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Re: Inability to work 100% during pregnancy

Don't rise to it, who are these people to you anyway? Let it go, don't take any of it personally and focus on yourself. The main thing is that you and your baby are healthy. You have to do what is right for you and only you know what you need! Go see your doctor and take good care of yourself! I wish you all the best x
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Old 26.02.2015, 08:54
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Re: Inability to work 100% during pregnancy

Yes, ignore these people and look after yourself... all the symptoms you list must make the day very difficult, and you certainly shouldn't be made to feel bad for considering time off.
I think these people have just gone off on tangents and taken your post as opportunity to rant, perils of forums
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Old 26.02.2015, 10:26
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Re: Inability to work 100% during pregnancy

Wow! I joined this forum today and this thread literally blew my mind.

OP, my advice to you is, do not bother to answer people who do no really want to understand anything. You don't owe them explanations. You should have stopped replying when you were being asked unneeded questions like what is the duration of your flight or when people tried to exaggerate 8 to 12 hours or when they raised questions on your holidays. It's none of their business! And at last when they could not prove anything they started comparing people. How ridiculous! Girl, you have already got some wonderful advices from comments above. Just take care of yourself and your baby. Talk to your doctor and explain him your situation I am sure you will easily get some time off from your working hours. And don't put yourself in more stress by answering each and every one.
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Old 26.02.2015, 11:06
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Re: Inability to work 100% during pregnancy

I think you all are right. I have just taken unnecessary burden of explaning myself. To people who still think women asking for reduced working hours or even 100% off from work are just being irresponsible or lazy - move on, I am sure you all have got something better to do in your lives rather than just criticising. And to people who gave me wonderful advices - thanks a lot and a big hug. A very good day to all! Signing off from this thread.
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