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Old 18.12.2015, 23:40
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Work lunch etiquette

So I work in a mostly male office (95%+) as a married female. It has been months and no one (or group) has asked me to lunch. I tried asking some of the guys, but I got really strange / suspicious responses like I was asking something absurd. Or they'll go with me once, but not ask again.

I've gone out with the other females, but they don't really even work in the same area and therefore we don't have much in common at work.

Am I doomed to eat lunch by myself? Some thoughts about what is considered appropriate / what's the etiquette would be appreciated.
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Old 18.12.2015, 23:55
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

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So I work in a mostly male office (95%+) as a married female. It has been months and no one (or group) has asked me to lunch. I tried asking some of the guys, but I got really strange / suspicious responses like I was asking something absurd. Or they'll go with me once, but not ask again.

I've gone out with the other females, but they don't really even work in the same area and therefore we don't have much in common at work.

Am I doomed to eat lunch by myself? Some thoughts about what is considered appropriate / what's the etiquette would be appreciated.
Many will usually go home for lunch with their wives & children. I thought that was very odd when I came to CH over 20 years ago. The Swiss don't do friendship in the same way, your colleagues which is very different.
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Old 19.12.2015, 00:11
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

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So I work in a mostly male office (95%+) as a married female. It has been months and no one (or group) has asked me to lunch. I tried asking some of the guys, but I got really strange / suspicious responses like I was asking something absurd. Or they'll go with me once, but not ask again.

I've gone out with the other females, but they don't really even work in the same area and therefore we don't have much in common at work.

Am I doomed to eat lunch by myself? Some thoughts about what is considered appropriate / what's the etiquette would be appreciated.
You don't give any details about your working place i.e. which industry and type of company. It makes a hell of a difference.
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Old 19.12.2015, 00:14
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

I work in IT for a large organization...
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Old 19.12.2015, 00:15
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

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Many will usually go home for lunch with their wives & children.
That, or go motorcyling.

Or both.

Tom
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Old 19.12.2015, 00:17
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

I normally go running at lunchtime. Don't want to spend unpaid time with the buggers.
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Old 19.12.2015, 00:19
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

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I normally go running at lunchtime. Don't want to spend unpaid time with the buggers.
Who, family or co-workers?

Tom
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Old 19.12.2015, 00:38
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

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Am I doomed to eat lunch by myself? Some thoughts about what is considered appropriate / what's the etiquette would be appreciated.
You might see this as a peculiar question, but are there any gay men in your office?

I ask because my lunchtime company in the U.K. was almost always my gay colleagues (male and female). I don't do girly small talk, so tend to not fit in with the more cliquey women, but I do like a good laugh. In the industry I worked in, there's a higher than average percentage of gay people, so there was always someone to spend lunch with...have a drink after work with... miss the last train home on Friday night with. And to top it all off, it was one of these friends who introduced me to my other half.
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Old 19.12.2015, 09:53
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

I think it quite impolite. Are they all of one nationality? If so which one?

Do they speak among themselves a language you don't speak? Still impolite, but more understandable.

In my office, which is in a multinational pharma company, no-one would dream of not inviting a colleague to go to lunch with them all - regardless of gender, age, nationality. Same when I was working in a large IT department in Vevey.
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Old 19.12.2015, 10:55
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

Are you good looking?
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Old 19.12.2015, 11:17
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

I don't believe this is a cultural thing. I go have lunch with my all-swiss male colleagues without any trouble (the girls usually go home feed their children...). Is it perhaps possible the reason they don't want to eat with you is because they don't know you that well and feel slightly uncomfortable?

I only started eating with my colleagues once a bond of friendship grew. We are a smallish office, though, so it's a different evironment to a large organization... Perhaps attach yourself to someone from your team so you can get slowly introduced to the other groups? (This sounds very high school... )
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Old 19.12.2015, 11:26
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

I used to go for lunch in group of 5-10 workmates. After 5-7 years of doing that, I noticed extra calories hanging on me. In order to reverse the effect of it, I started jogging and exercising in local gym and had small sandwich afterwards.

Those poor exercise-less buggers living sedentary office lifestyle who merely moved their bones to uptake some more calories and lead by coffee-sugar regime, they stayed where they are. I not only gained a nice six-pack but also joy of life in doing some activities. Ready running up for promotion ...
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Old 19.12.2015, 12:14
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

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I work in IT for a large organization...
Then you should be thankful that they don't insist on eating with you. The conversation would be miserable and effectively only an extension of work. I used to enjoy the opportunity to go for a walk at lunch time and then take lunch at a restaurant well away from my work colleagues, and read a newspaper.
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Old 19.12.2015, 12:28
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

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Then you should be thankful that they don't insist on eating with you. The conversation would be miserable and effectively only an extension of work. I used to enjoy the opportunity to go for a walk at lunch time and then take lunch at a restaurant well away from my work colleagues, and read a newspaper.
No wonder why some IT, banking and insurance people prefer eating lunch alone ...
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Old 19.12.2015, 12:31
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

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Those poor exercise-less buggers living sedentary office lifestyle who merely moved their bones to uptake some more calories and lead by coffee-sugar regime, they stayed where they are. I not only gained a nice six-pack but also joy of life in doing some activities. Ready running up for promotion ...
You're sooo right Jacek!

Up until 7 weeks ago, I was on 8 coffees a day before 3pm, 30 cigs a day, didn't eat until I got home in the evening, worked through most of my lunch every day and the weight piled on. I began having problems with my nerves (physically not mentally) where I would suddenly lose power in my arm, and three doctors said it was work related.

7 weeks here and, without any conscious effort, I'm down to 2 coffees in the morning, 10 cigs a day, all the aches and pains have gone, and the weight's dropping off because I'm toddling around exploring this great city. But most of all, I'm relaxed because I don't have to spend all day listening to other people's office politics and deal with grossly unjust or just plain stupid client requests.

My next job, I'm going to go for a walk at lunch times.
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Old 19.12.2015, 12:39
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

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So I work in a mostly male office (95%+) as a married female. It has been months and no one (or group) has asked me to lunch. I tried asking some of the guys, but I got really strange / suspicious responses like I was asking something absurd. Or they'll go with me once, but not ask again.

I've gone out with the other females, but they don't really even work in the same area and therefore we don't have much in common at work.

Am I doomed to eat lunch by myself? Some thoughts about what is considered appropriate / what's the etiquette would be appreciated.
To be honest it just sounds like your colleagues are completely socially inept. Of course it's normal to go to lunch with a colleague, it doesn't make any difference whether they are male or female unless you are some Victorian dinosaur that sees a lunch with the opposite sex as akin to sexual misconduct.
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Old 19.12.2015, 22:39
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

I found things a little different, albeit I'm male.

I was asked to go to lunch on quite a few occasions, I went relatively often to begin with... but since I've gone less.

Being both a vegetarian and a contractor, I have two issues:

- The vege options are rare and usually poor quality
- As a contractor, 5chf is added to every one of my meals, no matter what it is

I still go once in a while to eat with them with my own food, but generally tend not to.

Of course, I hope it's not taken in the wrong way... but you never know.

I also happen to be a good cook and while 20chf is relatively cheap for a lunch in switzerland... I object to paying that much for a crappy meal.

Especially when I can get a decent sandwich from Coop for 5chf or make something myself and bring it with me.

400+ chf/month vs 100 chf/month or less for better food... seems madness to go to the canteen.
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Old 20.12.2015, 00:14
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

Does it matter?

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Who, family or co-workers?

Tom
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Old 20.12.2015, 00:25
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

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Does it matter?
It's something that's usually referred to as a "joke"... once in a while, especially when it comes to social interactions... this thing, sometimes know as a "joke" can be very useful to reply to appropriately in however that special social scene may be seen as to respond to whatever specific "joke" may or may not have been referred to, on that occasion...
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Old 20.12.2015, 06:45
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Re: Work lunch etiquette

I'll remember to post the sarcasm smiley next time I respond to one of Tom's posts. Just in case anyone is under the illusion I take anything he types seriously.

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It's something that's usually referred to as a "joke"... once in a while, especially when it comes to social interactions... this thing, sometimes know as a "joke" can be very useful to reply to appropriately in however that special social scene may be seen as to respond to whatever specific "joke" may or may not have been referred to, on that occasion...
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