Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Help & tips > Employment
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 29.07.2016, 11:44
lost_inbroad's Avatar
Unbridled Mod
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: KY
Posts: 9,954
Groaned at 563 Times in 363 Posts
Thanked 12,576 Times in 5,007 Posts
lost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond repute
Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

In the light of Squeeeze's job interview misconduct thread I was reminiscing my coporate past and find quite a few amusing and aggravating stories of corporate behavior from both immediate colleages and superiors alike. I figured, why don't we have a thread, where we can share and vent our glorious and illustrious office experience.

Here is one of my classics: While working for another multinational company, the newly appointed operations manager was a smoker. Whenever he got up and decided to go for a smoke, 2 coporate non-smoking drones flanked him and they would go out for their daily chat...each and every time!
Needless to say, one of them got sacked shortly after I left them company.

Please share your experiences and keep in mind that Switzerland is a small country and many expats are on the EF. Make sure to omit potential details, which could have some sort of negative repercussions.
Reply With Quote
The following 8 users would like to thank lost_inbroad for this useful post:
  #2  
Old 29.07.2016, 11:48
dodgyken's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Democratic Republic Kenistan
Posts: 9,793
Groaned at 340 Times in 276 Posts
Thanked 17,393 Times in 6,651 Posts
dodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

At a not to be named Swiss bank external employees (contractors) can't see the internal job board nor can internal employees refer existing contractors to roles.
Reply With Quote
The following 6 users would like to thank dodgyken for this useful post:
  #3  
Old 29.07.2016, 12:04
Squeeeez's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Frauenfeld
Posts: 531
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 519 Times in 253 Posts
Squeeeez has a reputation beyond reputeSqueeeez has a reputation beyond reputeSqueeeez has a reputation beyond reputeSqueeeez has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

Does a toilet paper roll instead of normal cleaning wipes in meeting rooms count? Nobody knew what the correct procedure was to get new ones...
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank Squeeeez for this useful post:
  #4  
Old 29.07.2016, 12:08
lost_inbroad's Avatar
Unbridled Mod
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: KY
Posts: 9,954
Groaned at 563 Times in 363 Posts
Thanked 12,576 Times in 5,007 Posts
lost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

One company I've worked for...again, one of the largest players in their segment had their server in Asia and our Windows version wasn't even an official one, hence our systems kept crashing on a daily basis.
Reply With Quote
The following 5 users would like to thank lost_inbroad for this useful post:
  #5  
Old 29.07.2016, 12:18
dodgyken's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Democratic Republic Kenistan
Posts: 9,793
Groaned at 340 Times in 276 Posts
Thanked 17,393 Times in 6,651 Posts
dodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

I worked for a building maintenance company and initiated a project to improve job allocation - in an attempt to improve staff occupancy. It was trialed against the live system and it was estimated to save the company quite a bit of money.

It was rejected because "The branch managers are best placed to decide the individuals for a particular job and have a broader understanding of total workloads" or in other words "The branch managers prefer to give their mates the jobs which mean they'll appear to be working until 5pm but can actually be done by 4pm - or 2pm on a Friday when they go to the pub - and need the others to cover the work."
__________________
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet" Abraham Lincoln
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank dodgyken for this useful post:
  #6  
Old 29.07.2016, 12:39
Uncle Max's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Züri
Posts: 7,388
Groaned at 160 Times in 109 Posts
Thanked 7,735 Times in 3,203 Posts
Uncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

Low level imported lawyers staying at one end of Bahnhofstrasse working half way along Bahnhofstrasse: limos booked to transport them, for months and months. Included in such madness, everyone obliged in on Swiss national day, but not July fourth, as they were American. Independence day spent sightseeing; August first the whole team spent in the office. Swiss bank. Gah. Their eyes were so dead. I wonder if their deferred life plans are working out.

Last edited by Uncle Max; 29.07.2016 at 13:01. Reason: typo
Reply With Quote
The following 14 users would like to thank Uncle Max for this useful post:
  #7  
Old 29.07.2016, 12:50
lost_inbroad's Avatar
Unbridled Mod
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: KY
Posts: 9,954
Groaned at 563 Times in 363 Posts
Thanked 12,576 Times in 5,007 Posts
lost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

A lesson in global efficacy: A company promoted an administrative assistant to a buyer position where she would frequently travel to Asia and procure goods for the Swiss market. I happened to bump into her at a local Asian restaurant, where she was eating noodles with a fork and a spoon (like they do here with spaghetti). I'm sure the first procurement trip to Asia must have gone fabulous.
Reply With Quote
The following 10 users would like to thank lost_inbroad for this useful post:
  #8  
Old 29.07.2016, 12:50
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Formerly in Neuchatel
Posts: 2,337
Groaned at 219 Times in 150 Posts
Thanked 3,860 Times in 1,537 Posts
porsch1909 has a reputation beyond reputeporsch1909 has a reputation beyond reputeporsch1909 has a reputation beyond reputeporsch1909 has a reputation beyond reputeporsch1909 has a reputation beyond reputeporsch1909 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

I was on a fixed term contract when I worked in Switzerland and my time was coming to an end a couple of months before 5 years.

The HR department emailed me out of the blue to say that since it's so close I will still get the 5 year bonus and invited to the celebration dinner.

3 days before I left the company they rescinded the invitation and bonus and said it was a mistake.

Nothing makes a person feel better than being invited to a celebration then being told they can't go!
Reply With Quote
The following 13 users would like to thank porsch1909 for this useful post:
  #9  
Old 29.07.2016, 13:00
bigblue2's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Glarus
Posts: 6,138
Groaned at 309 Times in 249 Posts
Thanked 9,473 Times in 3,855 Posts
bigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

soooo many, probably the biggest screw up was at an IT company, many years ago, they used to be the biggest provider for corporate PC's, networks etc in the UK and all was going swimmingly, money was no object, the glory days of pc's

Until someone realised that the salesmen where being paid commission on the order value, not the profit, and no one was checking the silly quotes they where giving out, so the company was actually losing money on every deal, and paying sky high commissions on top, a month later it was shut down my last task there (as a contractor) was to run around everyones desks picking up the company mobile phones and laptops while the staff where in the big meeting being told it was all over, go home.
Reply With Quote
The following 7 users would like to thank bigblue2 for this useful post:
  #10  
Old 29.07.2016, 13:06
VFR on top's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Basel
Posts: 714
Groaned at 19 Times in 11 Posts
Thanked 1,528 Times in 548 Posts
VFR on top has a reputation beyond reputeVFR on top has a reputation beyond reputeVFR on top has a reputation beyond reputeVFR on top has a reputation beyond reputeVFR on top has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

The company I worked for was in Chapter 11 and everyone had to "tighten their belts", etc. bonuses stopped, no unnecessary expenditures, significant travel restrictions, economy only, blah blah blah.

Somehow, the travel itinerary of the CEO and Exec VP's for the annual board meeting got leaked:

-Individual Limo schedule from their homes to Gary Intl Airport
-Gulfstream chartered Jet(s) seating assignments
-Limo assignments from Teterboro to The Waldorf Astoria in NYC
-meal preferences and wine requests
Etc
Etc.

The business is now shuttered (CH 7)
Reply With Quote
The following 9 users would like to thank VFR on top for this useful post:
  #11  
Old 29.07.2016, 13:18
bigblue2's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Glarus
Posts: 6,138
Groaned at 309 Times in 249 Posts
Thanked 9,473 Times in 3,855 Posts
bigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

another funny one involving HR as well

again, many years ago I worked for a major bank at Liverpool st, it was the friday before a long weekend and one of the exec's was working late, when he went to drive out of the underground carpark his pass wouldn't open the doors, so he called security who informed him, according to there system, he didn't work there. Yep he was due to be fired after the long weekend but someone in HR decided to get ahead of the game and cancelled everything on the friday, assuming he'd have already left.

He sued the bank and won.
Reply With Quote
The following 16 users would like to thank bigblue2 for this useful post:
  #12  
Old 29.07.2016, 13:21
Treverus's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: SZ
Posts: 9,260
Groaned at 215 Times in 178 Posts
Thanked 16,446 Times in 6,011 Posts
Treverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

On my first job was I naturally paid significantly less than the 120k "standard". I was working in some über-complex matrix organisation and after two years on the job were my HR costs suddenly billed to some cost center in the Netherlands. At the end of the year did my manager (in a third country) review the numbers and called me to ask why on earth I cost him over 250k when at the same time I am complaining and asking for a raise. I walke to HR and they told me "You know those expat managers coming from our HQ? They cost a bomb, the country manager alone gets over 100k for his childrens private school... so we are tasked to reduce the total personnel costs to an industry average - this means we have to underpay everyone on your level and charge your cost center double!" The one thing that shocked me was that they were totally open and direct about it and did not see any issue with it at all...

I informed my manager abroad about the conversation, gave him and HR four weeks to resolve the "problem" wich they didnt. When I gave them a deadline to resolve my salary did the Swiss organisation fire me instead (to the protest of my "manager" overseas!) based on "organizational changes". My manager offered me to work for him in his country, but I decided that this was not the company to work for.
__________________
There is a special place in Hull reserved for the guy who invented autocorrect.
Reply With Quote
The following 6 users would like to thank Treverus for this useful post:
  #13  
Old 29.07.2016, 13:32
Swiss Cheddar's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Zug
Posts: 2,062
Groaned at 45 Times in 29 Posts
Thanked 2,850 Times in 1,171 Posts
Swiss Cheddar has a reputation beyond reputeSwiss Cheddar has a reputation beyond reputeSwiss Cheddar has a reputation beyond reputeSwiss Cheddar has a reputation beyond reputeSwiss Cheddar has a reputation beyond reputeSwiss Cheddar has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

Fortunatley i have been my own boss since i was a teenager.

The real world sounds like a nightmare.

cheers
SC
Reply With Quote
The following 8 users would like to thank Swiss Cheddar for this useful post:
  #14  
Old 29.07.2016, 13:40
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: ZH
Posts: 4,438
Groaned at 55 Times in 45 Posts
Thanked 2,163 Times in 1,310 Posts
SOBEIT has a reputation beyond reputeSOBEIT has a reputation beyond reputeSOBEIT has a reputation beyond reputeSOBEIT has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

Whilst working in CW a Director of the company, one of many I might add had worked so hard, well that's what he thought and given an extra weeks holiday.
On his return he found his office had a new Director and Inturn had been given a lower appointment.

Best part of it, he thought it to be a practical joke...
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank SOBEIT for this useful post:
  #15  
Old 29.07.2016, 14:10
lost_inbroad's Avatar
Unbridled Mod
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: KY
Posts: 9,954
Groaned at 563 Times in 363 Posts
Thanked 12,576 Times in 5,007 Posts
lost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

One company I worked for had the nasty habit of sacking people on Friday afternoon...preferably before the person was going on vacation or before a bank holiday.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank lost_inbroad for this useful post:
  #16  
Old 29.07.2016, 14:14
JoeUK's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Zurich
Posts: 343
Groaned at 9 Times in 8 Posts
Thanked 411 Times in 227 Posts
JoeUK is considered knowledgeableJoeUK is considered knowledgeableJoeUK is considered knowledgeable
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

I was working for a bank in London where a new guy joined as head of networking. After a few months in the role he appointed a new company as preferred supplier of network equipment. The supplier was more expensive and had longer lead times than almost all of the competition. after a couple of YEARS it became clear that this supplier had 1 client and the owner was the bank's head of networks. He was ordering from the previous sellers and then selling on for a mark up. He's now in the same role for another bank, directly across the street.

Then there's the guy who built over 60 Windows servers at another bank with an evaulation CD.. 90 day expiry... that was messy.
__________________
Dear people who type in all lower case, we are the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse or helping your uncle jack off a horse. Yours Sincerely, capital letters.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank JoeUK for this useful post:
  #17  
Old 29.07.2016, 14:16
JagWaugh's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Eglisau
Posts: 3,974
Groaned at 31 Times in 30 Posts
Thanked 7,216 Times in 2,906 Posts
JagWaugh has a reputation beyond reputeJagWaugh has a reputation beyond reputeJagWaugh has a reputation beyond reputeJagWaugh has a reputation beyond reputeJagWaugh has a reputation beyond reputeJagWaugh has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

My Swiss boss once called me in the last week of a 3 week vacation in Canada to inform me that the company would be closing the office in 3 months and that we would all be made redundant. The official announcement wasn't until 2 days after I returned.

Come to think of it he had a thing about making my vacations unpleasant.
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank JagWaugh for this useful post:
  #18  
Old 29.07.2016, 14:26
amogles's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Zurich
Posts: 8,403
Groaned at 141 Times in 122 Posts
Thanked 14,592 Times in 6,209 Posts
amogles has a reputation beyond reputeamogles has a reputation beyond reputeamogles has a reputation beyond reputeamogles has a reputation beyond reputeamogles has a reputation beyond reputeamogles has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

I worked for a boss who had previously been pretty high up in the hierachy, I think just one level below the CEO. But then fired due to a scandal of some sort (in which to be honest, he wasn't really a direct culprit, but more a case of guilt by association, but that's another story)

Anyway, rather than marching straight out of the door he starting tapping into his buddy network and one of these buddies found a job for him, actually as my boss. But they managed to keep his previous salary and benefits. So that was a bit of an untenable situation. This included international schools being payed for his kids and lots of other things that sapped a large part of the department's budget. Needless to say, we were understaffed and several projects went t*ts up. But because he was well connected, no higher scrutiny ever came our way.

Now his son went on vacation in Australia and ran out of money. Of course dad was quick to help and rather than personally arranging a way to send money or whatever, he ordered that the company's Australian sales office give cash to his boy. When they refused he got very angry.

Some years later, his boss retired and was replaced by a younger man who didn't have the same allegiances and he looked into the salary situation and effectively told my boss it was time to take a cut or to quit the job. My boss was ill after that, and as you can't fire somebody on sick leave, nothing was done. When the company questioned the veracity of his illness, they sent an independent doctor who was able to concur over the diagnosis. Despite being ill, he ordered a new company car which strangely was approved. They set more lawyers on him and he set his own on them and I think they finally settled out of court and he came out with early retirement on a neat pension.
Reply With Quote
The following 5 users would like to thank amogles for this useful post:
  #19  
Old 29.07.2016, 14:28
Squeeeez's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Frauenfeld
Posts: 531
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 519 Times in 253 Posts
Squeeeez has a reputation beyond reputeSqueeeez has a reputation beyond reputeSqueeeez has a reputation beyond reputeSqueeeez has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

Many of those stories make me cringe.
A propos vacations: my boss once called me back from a 2 week vacation, another guy was also called back from his, while diving in the red sea.
C-Level was shouting "something's not working and it has to be done by the end of the month!".
Once everything was working, there was a meeting where the CEO then proceeded to laugh at us. "Ha! Got you all, the project wasn't meant to end till next month!"
Man, were we happy and proud to have finished early.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank Squeeeez for this useful post:
  #20  
Old 29.07.2016, 14:35
bigblue2's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Glarus
Posts: 6,138
Groaned at 309 Times in 249 Posts
Thanked 9,473 Times in 3,855 Posts
bigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Corporate Nonsense/Idiocy Experiences

Quote:
View Post
I was working for a bank in London where a new guy joined as head of networking. After a few months in the role he appointed a new company as preferred supplier of network equipment. The supplier was more expensive and had longer lead times than almost all of the competition. after a couple of YEARS it became clear that this supplier had 1 client and the owner was the bank's head of networks. He was ordering from the previous sellers and then selling on for a mark up. He's now in the same role for another bank, directly across the street.

Then there's the guy who built over 60 Windows servers at another bank with an evaulation CD.. 90 day expiry... that was messy.

sounds very much like the situation at another bank, where the head of IT was leasing all the pc's, except he owned the leasing company, and the bank had already bought all the PC's years ago from another supplier, so how was he caught? well, he also had a taste for kiddie porn, using the works laptop and internet connection, when IT examined his work laptop to find the pics, so he could be fired, they found an interesting spreadsheet embezzlement.xls, oddly they chose to fire him, get the police involved and sue him over the embezzlement rather then the kiddie porn, even made the national news
Reply With Quote
The following 6 users would like to thank bigblue2 for this useful post:
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The PC nonsense thread pilatus1 General off-topic 37 12.04.2016 13:01
Brilliant idiocy or what Uncle GroOve Jokes/funnies 11 19.08.2014 18:47
Corporate governance (compliance and corporate administration) Position in Zug Zamin Jobs offered 1 21.10.2013 13:17
Quick Nab a No Nonsense Nanny! chocolate_raisins Jobs wanted 0 07.05.2012 21:56


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 20:35.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0