Hello Everyone!

I am now having what I consider the worst experience in my life, it could easily become a basis for a soap opera. It is a long story, I will try to make it short.

From April this year I was 'employed' ( as a PA to the founder) in a Wollearu based company specialized...of course in finance. I say 'employed' beacuse in fact the employement agreement was never signed. What makes the whole story extremely complicated is that I was romantically involved with my employer, who is married. Huge mistake on my part, no doubt. I was always officially introduced to his business partners as his PA ( be it in person or by email). There is plenty of proof of that, print-outs of company emails and so forth.

Initially I was promied an official employement, be it as an inturn of an employee (once again, there is a proof of that). But naturally, as relationship started to detiriorate, I was told that I am unprofessional and even stupid and that first I had to prove myself and prove that I can bring value to the company and maybe then, I will get an official contract. What a joke! Now I am being asked to return laptop and BB and basically I am being thrown out like a used piece of (sex) toy. It was end of August. Yes, I am bitter and I want revenge...especially when I have got proof.
One one hand, I cannot believe that something like that could happen to me, but on the other this is my first real job experience and I trusted him to make all the official arrangement. The story is as old as the world, I know.

This man has brainwashed me completely, prohibited me from seeing my friends and family, all my in and outcoming emails and calls were monitored, he always had to know where I am and who I am with, I had to dress as he likes, walk as he likes and shut up when he tells me to. I will not go into details about other pervesions of his. If this gets out he will be hugely embarrassed. I had to take verbal, mental and even physical abuse from this sick individual. This man uses the whole array of manipulation tactics like threat, intimidation, isolation and bullying. I will not just let it go. If he did that to me, he can do it to other inexperienced young women.

Back to the employment issue. Like I said I have plenty of proof. During the time I was working ( or rather slaving for him and his company), I have never signed a single document, neither have I received any money on my bank account, everything was in black. Whereas, he did sign documents...and several...and I am in possession of those. The most heavy proof is his recommendation letter to the universities where I was applying to stating that ' Such and such is currently employed by such and such (not true, no evidence). She will be a sponsored student throughout her studies by such and such'. Company's logo, date, his signature. Here is my question: what is the penalty in Switzerland for having someone working in black for you? btw, I am a EU citizen. if there is a fine, how much? If there are any consequences, which are those? And in general how Switzerland regards and treats such cases? Any help would be much appreciated.

Thank you All!

Yikes!

I know that's not helpful, but Yikes!

Working illegally and involved with the boss. I just don't know how you could get any recourse out of this situation.

so your single now then?

Hello and welcome to the Forum.

You'll not win this battle. Lick wounds, move on.

just tell his wife, simples

Or go out all guns blazing. Spare no-one, not even yourself. Take no prisoners, take no ****, especially not from midgets.

Do keep us updated.

Watch 'Mad Men'. You may get some advertising ideas.

Why hurt the wife who is the innocent party in all of this?

In life we all make mistakes, at least you could take from this that you (hopefully) learnt a few good lessons.

You are an individual, never let someone dominate you to the point of telling you what to wear. If a person loves you truely, they should love you for who you are.

Being involved with someone at work, been there, done that and I would rather have eaten razor blades than made that mistake.

Think about it, do not be too hard on yourself, just learn from it.

Revenge whilst a natural emotion, but in all honesty you would be better of using your time and energy and reflect on what happened and then put it all in the past.

Wanna bet you aren't the first?

Great piece of advice I got from a great boss I used to have:

Don't get your meat where you make your bread.

I think putting this as far behind you as possible and making the most of what you've learned is the best path. If he's as manipulative as you say you are up for a real battle, which although possibly winnable, with what outcome?

Sadly, you seem young but from your experience you have learnt some valuable lessons to help you in the future.
If you are a pretty young girl there will always be some idiot who uses their position to turn your head. They are using their power and taking advantage.
So in the future - Get a Contract
Don't think of having an affair with a married guy.

Put this behind you - We've all done dumb things - the important thing is to learn from it. It is not worth the energy to think of taking revenge - Move on.....

Learn your lesson well and move on. No point in dwelling on it. If you believe in carma, he will get what he deserves sooner or later.

How can he do this? I mean from a practical point of view?

I assume you have your own flat with your own phone and email access ?

If not you can use the public phones or internet cafes?

How can he prevent that?

Just don't get it.

As sad as it sounds, move on. Look for another job. I guess there is no recession with jobs on PA level.

If you really want to get him. You can file a report to

a) the police - who might know the right contact or authority for such things
b) SVA Zurich - Sozialversicherungsanstalt (who is responsible for companies and employer to act according to rules and regulations as well your AHV etc.)
c) Arbeitsgericht (court)

OP should decide which story she wants to tell the authorities:

1. She was an employer who did not get any salary. A labor court can decide the appropriate salary based on qualification, prior experience, duties and age. Salary entitlement is from first day of work until the end of statutory notice period. Consequent to that judgment, employer must pay social security and pension-plan contributions
2. She is a jilted paramour. The police and courts have nothing to say about consenting adults. The man may be persuaded to pay a settlement for fear of jeopardizing his marriage.

Plan-1 is more likely to succeed and is kinder to the innocent wife.

Sorry to hear about what you went through Rebecca... I don't mean to condone anything this deranged man has done to you (and to his wife), but in all honesty, you have made your share of bad mistakes.

You have little legal ground to stand on, and obviously no resources with which to pursue this through legal channels.

Suck it up, learn your lessons and move on ... Delving on revenge will make you bitter and stop you from doing whatever else you could be doing with your life right now.

Cheer up Rebecca, all is not lost - I have an opening for a PA...

Hi guys!

Firstly, thank you all those who gave some useful advice and support. Really appreciated

I do have an update. This will probably disappoint those of you who told me to go and lick my wounds because I have little chance of winning this. I kept it simple: I went to the best lawyers in town and told them my situation. Surprisingly, they got very excited and took my case. Next, they send two page letter to my previous 'employer' informing him that x amont is due to be paid, consisting of monthly salary that was supposed to be paid (6 months period) + compensation as a result of giving me 1 day notice of termination of the 'agreement' (also 6 months period). So...alltogether a pretty nice amount. This is bad, I know, but I would give a lot for seeing the expression on his face when he read that letter!!! Receiving such a letter was probably his worst nightmare. Even though it looked like it was all about salary, he is no fool and understands that our professional and personal relationship were so interwoven that the truth will get out after all and that would be a huge black stain on his and his company's reputation. My lawyers were smart enough not to mention personal side of relationship and yet there were clues in the letter that should the case go to court, their client (i.e. me) will be obliged to tell the truth and nothing but the truth Haha! The point was to solve the issue 'amicably' between the parties to avoid painfull court proceedings. The negotiations were indeed very tough and I must give it to him, once again he demonstrated to me his brilliantly developed set of manipulation and bluffing skills. At one point, on the phone we tried to find the amount that was satisfactory to both of us and after hearing my proposal he said calmly : 'No! Let's go to court then'. I said 'OK' and hung up. Few days later my lawyers received a pretty nice offer that was close to the initial amount mentioned on the phone. Finally, we managed to settle the dispute 'amicably'.

So the moral of the story, go and fight for your freaking rights (assuming that you have them)! Who the hell he thinks he is to use and abuse somebody that young and think that he can just get away with it?

There was a comment of some of you who didn't understand how is it possible from practical point of view to be controlled by someone like that? Clearly, my ad seemed as if I was the victim and most of you think that I am really naive, pink and fluffy young thing. In fact it couldn't be further from the truth. My friends say that I am the most pragmatic person they ever met. My point? Never say never. Don't think that that this thing or that thing wil never ever happen to you because you are so much smarter and experienced. There are people out there who are extremely cunning, sly and excellent manipulators (i.e. bankers) who can find just the right key to anybody and use them as puppets.

Thanks again for your replies and good luck!

Is this whole thread for real?

Are you sure about that?

no...doesn't sound like it.