My husband (a german commissioning engineer) has a job offer in frankfurt where they give him a chance to get his Phd while being fully employed at an institute. Its very tempting and he has to decide within the year and it will be a major challenge as well as sacrifice for us. Here´s some details that we have to consider so far:

PROs:

-Firstly and most importantly, he is not qualified to do his phd right now but this employer has been so interested to take my husband and this is one of the very unique quirks that he may never be offered again.

-We are expecting a baby and this job will mean he wont be travelling anymore which is good for me and the lil one.

-More chances for me to get a job in such a big city. Cheap or might be even free daycare as one of his priviledges

-A bit closer to the inlaws (not sure if this is a good thing though)

-goodbye to the many little things that we dont like here (scheduled laundry, annoying dialects, no KFC etc)


CONs:

-He will earn half of what he´s getting now and we wont afford to visit my family back home anymore

-He loves travelling but willing to give that up anyway for family

-He considers his job here as his ultimate dream job

-Working environment is much better here than in DE

-Were starting to like it here in CH very much. He walks to work, my daughter walks to school and we live near the german border anyway so were enjoying both worlds right now (earning here, spending there)



I tell him that i will support his decision but atleast let me visit my family before we make the move if he decides to take the offer. Do you guys think it is worth it? I really would rather stay but maybe i dont really know/understand the situation from my selfish point of view. Thanks for reading, appreciate your opinions!

PhD forever!
There's always time for bourgeois life, later.

When i took time off after my undergrad, I thought i would go to grad school eventually and that i was just going to take a few years and work in Switzerland and get some savings up. Now we are almost 15 years later and never going back to school is one of my biggest regrets.

If the school is a good school, he isn't guaranteed to get in under the same conditions (stipend, school's reputation) in a few years. If I went back now it would be to a school not as nice as I could have had back in the day. I have also tried to go back twice and been turned down from two different schools, both school said the lapse of time since my undergrad was a major factor.

I vote PhD all the way, without hesitation. Employment will always be there but the chance to do a PhD won't.

So whats for sure is we will live poor for 5 years. Then what? Is there a guarantee that he will get a job better/close to what he´s got now? His company now, as an example, wont hire him anymore because he will be much more expensive with that additional piece of paper. Will he be happier? Im just lost about it right now but im open for convincing.

Personally, I left a secure good engineering job back home to persue a PhD here for a huge paycut. It was an opportunity I couldn't pass up to potentially help to future world with an academic contribution rather than just being an overpaid cog-in-the-machine engineer.

That being said, money wasn't an issue for me and I had no children and gave up a decade long relationship for the move. But for science, and world betterment, there was no debate.

What a tough decision.... Maybe looking in the future could help you ? Where do you want to be in 5 or 10 years ? Still in CH or someplace else ? Would a phd help you archiving that future ?

I always say myself, there is no such things as bad decisions. Whatever you choose, you will find your own way to be happy with your decision.

But the important is to have no regrets. If your husband found his dreamjob once, there is no reason that he doesn't again in the future. Maybe getting his phd will be more difficult if he turns down this opportunity. And if he wants to have it because it is important for him and will provide you a best future, maybe taking the offer is the right thing to do...

I am sorry I know I am not helping but I hope you and your husband will figure out what is best decision for you.

what's the point in getting the Phd? i wouldn't bother if i was already doing my dream job.

..it may be the dream job now, but in the long run, the phd can give you (him) the dream home, dream car, dream vacation send your kids to college etc. etc.

Of course that is considering your dream job is 100% secure. Extra education never hurts, but you are right, it's a lot of extra stress and challenge which is not necessary if you are happy and successful in you persent position.

Thanks for the feedback. Your answers shed quite some light and made me realize that i might be asking myself the wrong questions. I just want that if i support him with it, i have the right reasons. I have not much ambitions for myself. I like the money here but not to be "bourgeois" but for the chance to go visit my family every few years if not yearly. This again raises the question, why would it stop him from taking the offer just so i can visit my family more? I already chose him over them and it should not be an issue anymore. So thanks, Im now leaning even more to the idea of moving to DE.

yep PhD every time. i really regret not doing it.

Maybe, maybe not.

I work with PhDs (doing the same things), and have had PhDs working under me.

I don't see a benefit in having one, certainly not financially.

Tom

... my question would be: Why does he want to do a Phd? Does he want to teach or become something big in some Uni? If not, then he should think twice.

He can do a degree here in CH! St. Gallen University offers really good Executive MBAs and they are very much appreciated in the business world (rather than PHDs --- at least from what I have experienced but might be completely wrong here).

Frankfurt is not an easy place to live, in my opinion. Personally, I would tend to stay here. Especially knowing that my second child is on the way, I have my dream job for now, and earning decent amount of money AND I think also it is easier to move from CH than vice versa. But then again, that is my opinion.

Would he consider a MBA instead maybe?

He already did his Masters. This offer is very unique because normally, he is not qualified to pursue a phd. Not sure why but this certain employer will make it work, so even if he wants to do it later, there is no other chance. Theres also no other offer where he can do it while on a full time job. Regarding the baby, if he takes the offer, he wont have to go work abroad and leave the family unlike in his job now as a commissioning engineer where he has projects in africa, korea, US etc.

May I ask why a PHD is so important to him?

I see your point in the travelling part. Its a very difficult decision. I still cannot get my head around why he would not be allowed to do a PhD otherwise.

In any case, I hope you will be happy in whatever decision is taken later. I am certain though, no matter which, it will all turn to the best.

I dont have all the details because last time he talked about it i wasnt so interested, i didnt get the point. I really dont know either why he is tempted when he is already happy with his job, but atleast i realized that i would have to support him even if it would mean not seeing my family for 5 yrs. It will be bittersweet having him home all the time but struggling financially.

I think one of the important things is how important a PhD is, whether a personal dream or for future career. For sure it's nice to have but in some cases, unless you are planning to pursue an academic career, you can end up being overqualified. For many professions having a Masters is sufficient.

It depends, of course, particularly on which field. However, my impression is that these days it is more handicap than an advantage.

I recently got my PhD (in physical chemistry) at age 54 and I didn't feel much handicapped before that. I just did it for my own satisfaction.

We have a neighbour who just completed her PhD in pharmacy at Geneva. One year later, she has no offers and not even many applications to go for. OK, it's a bad time for "big" pharma and she has a husband, which limits her mobility, but still I feel that her situation should make anyone considering a PhD think hard. Once you've got it, you will be automatically excluded from many jobs.

Perhaps his current job isn't his dream job....I know if I was doing my dream job, there wouldn't be a chance of getting me to do a phd. I say that with the knowledge of doing my phd for 2 years so far.

A phd isn't fun and he won't be working his 8 hours and going home and finding time for his child may still be difficult.

why dont you ask your husband and see what he wants to do?